Afraid I'll fail...but so grateful for all of you.

[Forgiving]

:new:
I am brand new to these boards and this site and am so glad to have found such a wonderful group of people. I've been reading everything I can on the site and had a big ah-ha today and cried after reading a post someone had written. It was someone encouraging another newbie and it made me realize how alone I have felt with my drinking problem. It feels amazing to have so many people who really understand. I've ordered Topa, the CD's and all the supplements and I can't wait for them to arrive. I didn't drink yesterday and know that I won't drink tonight. Drinking has harmed my liver. The first test results were a couple of years ago and my doctor left me a message saying that my liver enzymes were high and he recommended that I quit taking aspirin and/or abstain from alcohol for 30 days and get re-tested (He didn't want to ask directly if it was booze!). It took me 6 months to get re-tested cause I couldn't stop for 30 days...I kept thinking I had to be completely crazy. I was deliberately putting poison in my body even after being told it was damaging my health. Even crazier? I won't eat white bread and I work out for 5 hours a week! Well, I did quit for 30 days and felt amazing. Got re-tested and all looked good so...I became over confident and thought that maybe I really could control it. Here I am again, bad test results and scared that this evil drug will have a grip on me for my life!!! I do feel so encouraged by so many great stories and helpful tips and ideas on these boards. Yesterday was the first day that I think I ripped my head out of the sand and determined that I have a problem that requires a plan no matter how much time it takes. Thank you in advance for your encouraging words!

[boozehag]

Afraid I'll fail...but so grateful for all of you.

Welcome Forgiving
Well you have all the tools so you are set. Sounds like your head is in the right place. Its a big fight but with the tools and the support of the community 24/7 and a big pinch of determination you can do it. Lots of people try for 30 days to kick start them and there may be bumps along the road but if you get yourself a little team of people starting at the same time that is usually a great help. Look forward to your posting about your success.
BH

[startingover]

Afraid I'll fail...but so grateful for all of you.

Hey, Welcome Forgiving. You have made a terrific start, you have armed yourself with knowledge and a positive attitude. The evil drug wont have a grip unless you let it. I think the majority of us have to accept that we cannot moderate our drinking so we abstain and in time find other ways to deal with life. As you have found, there is plenty of support and advice and this really does work.

[Forgiving]

Afraid I'll fail...but so grateful for all of you.

Thank you!

I've always been so afraid of being found out by the world. I can control myself in social situations (sometimes) and then go home and drink myself silly. It feels so great to be able to express how I feel to others that feel the same way and understand. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[A Work in Progress]

Afraid I'll fail...but so grateful for all of you.

Welcome, Forgiving! We've all been there... trying to control it, and failing. This can be a fabulous experience for you. You already know that, of course, because you have done 30 days AF in the past; but it seems that you have decided it truly is different now, not a matter of 30 days only, but of the rest of your life.

Good for you!

wip

[Forgiving]

Afraid I'll fail...but so grateful for all of you.

Fabulous experience?

I hadn't thought of it as a possible fabulous experience but...you're right. It's all a matter of perspective I guess. I love to challenge myself in different areas of my life but have never really done it with AL. Work in Progress, how long has it been for you?

[Forgiving]

Afraid I'll fail...but so grateful for all of you.

OK nevermind

Work In Progress...I just saw your AF since date! Congratulations! How's it going for you?

[gyco]

Afraid I'll fail...but so grateful for all of you.

i like what all have said lots of support here,,failure is in the eye of the beholder,failure is when you find somthing tht works,and dont hold on to it,sobriety,whether modding or stopping totally is up to you,i think you have a foudation just have to build onit gyco

[Cinders]

Afraid I'll fail...but so grateful for all of you.

Forgiving,

:welcome: We are all glad you are here and we will support you in any way we can.

I know the stops and starts. I know the feeling of fear and failure. Most of us do.

Good on you for ordering the whole shebang and getting ready to go on it.

The supplements help greatly. They do. I hope the topamax works for you. I am allergic to it and am saddened because so many get such great relief from it.

We all know and understand what you are going through.

Your head is out of the sand now and you are doing what you need to do.

Good for you.

I look forward to seeing you around and hearing your progress.

Cindi

[time2change]

Afraid I'll fail...but so grateful for all of you.

Welcome. Remember you can not fail as long as you don't stop trying. You have made the first step and gotten the tools you need to do this. Stick around, read and post. It helps to have the support from others who have been there.

[SAUSAGE]

Afraid I'll fail...but so grateful for all of you.

Welcome!
You sound really positive and as others have already said, you have all the tools you need - good luck
Don't worry about "failing" just keep going - one day at a time.
Hopefully you won't "slip up" but if you do just climb back on and keep going - that's what i've done.
I hadn't had an AF day in years until this year and now i've done over 200 (see my signature)
Recognising you have a problem and wanting to do something about it is the biggest step of all and you've done that.
This site will really help you - people you can relate to all over the world - there's always someone here who can understand and will motivate you 24/7
Keep posting and let us know how you do
Good luck on your journey.

[Savreg]

Afraid I'll fail...but so grateful for all of you.

I'm very new also-please help

Hi, Never done anything like this before and useless with computers, so if I end up in the 'wrong' place, just send me on my way.
Normally I get my Husband or Kids to help me work my way around the computer, but I dont want them to know about my first attempts at this. I've ordered the book and tapes.

I've been through this for years, promising myself I can get my drinking under control.
My beautiful Children are starting to suffer and have asked me why I drink to the point I am in a stupor and can't even remember the previous evenings events.

I'm always the best organised Host and renowned for ensuring everyone has a great time.
When really I'm just a big fake. I had a lunch here a few days ago, nice wine, great food, new and old girlfriends. Everyone else was ready for Tea and Coffee midway through the afternoon, but Nope, not me, I just kept on swilling down the white wine. Somehow got myself to bed, although I attempted to read the kids a bedtime story. Can't even remember what time I went to bed or worse, what time the kids went to bed. I absolutely feel so ashamed and embarassed for their sake and mine.

There are days when I am fine and can abstain, but then other days, when I actually plan my whole day around the bewitching hour and in readiness for another bout of supposedly enjoying myself or rewarding myself!

I really need support from others and look forward to healing myself but having some great advice on hand.

Hopefully,

Savreg

[startingover]

Afraid I'll fail...but so grateful for all of you.

Hi Savreg, just replied to your other post, you are doing well my friend.
Like you have just done, its best to post your own thread when asking for help as sometimes it can get lost in amongst others.

[rubywillow]

Afraid I'll fail...but so grateful for all of you.

Welcome, Forgiving!!!
Ain't it Grand to just be able to totally spill everything we can't tell because no one will understand and everyone here understands!!? Sounds like you're off to a great start!
Rubes

[Forgiving]

Afraid I'll fail...but so grateful for all of you.

3rd day AF

Hi Everyone!

Tonight is my third night AF. I feel amazed because I haven't even started with any of the tools as I haven't received them yet. I think getting to the end of myself and finding all of you for support has already helped me so much. I am determined this time. I was so sick of being sick. I was drinking a bottle + of white wine every night and sometimes martinis for a switch.

I have battled an extra 20 pounds my whole life and remember when I would lose weight and my mantra would be "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"...well, nothing feels as good as being this clear headed while drinking icy cold water and communicating with all my new friends that understand me. Not carrying the burden of my "secret" alone any longer coupled with wanting to face the pain I was trying to medicate has been so freeing. Reading so many posts that I can relate to...it helps immensely, doesn't it?

Bless all of you for your devotion to not only helping yourselves but others too.
:thanks: