My Story

[Ricker]

I am 37, married with three boys and I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I am an alcoholic. I'm able to get away with it, because it has never affected my job and my tolerance is so high that even after numerous rum and cokes you would never know I've been drinking. I am a good husband and father, however for years I've been drinking to get relief from stress, to enjoy myself with friends, or to just get a good buzz when the kids are in bed and I'm watching t.v. I know as my kids get older, they will see what I do to relax and will potentially repeat the behavior, just like I did when I saw my dad drink.

It has slowly progressed over the last 13 years or so to the point where I drink about three or four nights a week and I can easily go through one of the big plastic ronrico rum bottles (not the tiny 1/5th but the big one, not sure what the size is) every week. It takes more and more booze to get a buzz and sometimes I've gotten to the point where even after drinking all night I don't feel buzzed. I've never gotten violoent and rarely does my drinking cause me to get in arguments with my wife or other people.

I am posting here because I am terrified to admit to people I know I have a problem. Everyone in my life looks at me like I'm the rock, the dependable one, etc...It would be nice to see someone respond to this that has been in or is in my shoes that can offer me supprort, feedback, etc...I know I'm on a path of self destruction and I want to stop this so I can live long enough to see my kids grow up and be a grandpa some day. My dad never got that chance because he died when I was 20 and never got to see his grandkids.

[SAUSAGE]

My Story

Welcome Ricker
Can really relate to your story, I am 37 also married with a son and daughter and until the beginning of this year when I first tried to quit, for some years now have nightly drank glass after glass of wine every evening when my kids were in bed and I was watching TV / on the internet - to get that "buzz" and just relax / chill out after the stress of the day. As time went by I noticed I was drinking more and more to get the same effect - latterly I calculated I was drinking between 40 and 50 units / week and realised I needed to do something about it. Like i wanted to do this partly for me as I was on a path to selfdestruction and partly for my kids future - use that as the greatest motivation of all.

you have come to a great place, spend time reading around the site , discover all the tools available, post and read what others have to say. There are people all over the world who can relate to you and there is always someone here 24/7 because of the different time zones.

Work out a plan and let us know how you get on - good luck.

[kriger]

My Story

Hi Ricker,
I was building up quite a tolerance to alcohol before I quit, as well. I could drink and drink and never appear to be drunk...I knew I was tho. I am also female so I knew what I was potentially doing to my health. I drank beer but on weekends would drink beer during the day and then vodka in the evening many weekends when our neighbor came down to "party". Many of my good friends and much of my family had no idea and still has no idea because they live in another state. Thankfully I found this site and came to my senses...I have been AF since 8/5/08. This program has been my life saver.

I would suggest reading the MWO book so you can understand the entire program and continue to post. You will find the people here to be responsive, understanding and non-judgemental. I look forward to getting to know you better. Kriger

[Sunbeam]

My Story

Ricker,
You are here, that is a great first step. I created the motivation to go Alcohol Free by writing down a list of all the things I hated about drinking. Your story reminds me of a fellow names 4theBoys, who quit to be more present in his son's lives. He often posted under this Your Story column. Welcome, make a plan, use the support here to get you through all of it.

[BecomingMeAtLast]

My Story

Hi Ricker and Welcome :welcome:

You are such a wonderful father to care so much about your kids, that's awesome. This site has helped me tremendously and it started when I downloaded the My Way Out book. It seriously changed my life. I am female but I pretty much do most everything in the house so I understand the exhaustion and the need for escape. I chose alcohol, too, and was destroying myself, and becoming a crappy mother in the process.

There's no judgment here. You don't have to be big and brave and strong. I'm glad you found us and look forward to more of your posts :l

Becoming