I first came here because of an embarrassing moment with my children at a kids production. That was when I thought that I had hit bottom.
Well that is not the case. I was a single, very independent woman who lived by my own rules until 31 when I got married. I had never lived with a man and then shortly after (on our one year anniversary) had twins. My world was turned upside down because they were born prematurely (13 weeks early). At the beginning I had no idea if they would live or die. They were both just over 2 pounds. My life consisted of hospitals and treatments. I had very little support from my husband because of traveling with his job and my mom had to take care of her dad in another state. The twins came home 2 1/2 months later and all was good. Around 12 months I noticed something different about my boy and shortly after he was diagnosed with Autism. I then had another child.
I remember living single and being able to control my drinking and not having this much trouble. After children and marriage is when I stepped it up notch or 50. I was drinking so much I didn't remember nights, going to bed etc. Well I thought I had that all under control until my panic attacks began about 2 years. ago. Then I drank to calm myself down and went back to that dark place that I remembered nothing from 7pm on.
I am currently receiving tx for my panic attacks and still currently have my downfalls. I tried and tried and tried to join the Abstainers group here (with many warm welcomes) then I would find myself failing and feel ashamed and leave. I want so badly to have 30 days under my belt and realize now that one day, for me is just as rewarding.
Since really thinking about this I have found that I now am drinking less in quantity and am now remembering my nights. What a blissful morning that makes for me. So many take this for granted. I am working towards more and more AF days and I will get there.
So for all of you that are new here, hang in there. It's a journey but one that pays off in the long run. I am no longer the drunk mom at functions or the mom that HAS to start drinking around 8am to make it through the day. Take care everyone and keep the fight up and going. We will all succeed.
Well that is not the case. I was a single, very independent woman who lived by my own rules until 31 when I got married. I had never lived with a man and then shortly after (on our one year anniversary) had twins. My world was turned upside down because they were born prematurely (13 weeks early). At the beginning I had no idea if they would live or die. They were both just over 2 pounds. My life consisted of hospitals and treatments. I had very little support from my husband because of traveling with his job and my mom had to take care of her dad in another state. The twins came home 2 1/2 months later and all was good. Around 12 months I noticed something different about my boy and shortly after he was diagnosed with Autism. I then had another child.
I remember living single and being able to control my drinking and not having this much trouble. After children and marriage is when I stepped it up notch or 50. I was drinking so much I didn't remember nights, going to bed etc. Well I thought I had that all under control until my panic attacks began about 2 years. ago. Then I drank to calm myself down and went back to that dark place that I remembered nothing from 7pm on.
I am currently receiving tx for my panic attacks and still currently have my downfalls. I tried and tried and tried to join the Abstainers group here (with many warm welcomes) then I would find myself failing and feel ashamed and leave. I want so badly to have 30 days under my belt and realize now that one day, for me is just as rewarding.
Since really thinking about this I have found that I now am drinking less in quantity and am now remembering my nights. What a blissful morning that makes for me. So many take this for granted. I am working towards more and more AF days and I will get there.
So for all of you that are new here, hang in there. It's a journey but one that pays off in the long run. I am no longer the drunk mom at functions or the mom that HAS to start drinking around 8am to make it through the day. Take care everyone and keep the fight up and going. We will all succeed.
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