I am a 30 year old married man with 5 children.Iv had a drinking problem for ten years but only acknowleged it for about the last 5.Ive been reading through the posts and ive found something in everyone ive read that rings true to me.I met my wife and left home at 16.i worked behind a bar at my best friends parents function room,i could drink as much as i liked and it didnt cost me a penny..in fact i got paid for it.At 18 i was a dad.At 20 my wifes mum and dad got a pub, a 100 miles away from where we lived. we moved in with them because there was plenty of room and a nicer area near the sea. id always wanted to live by the sea. Again i could drink as much as i liked and i got paid for doing so. We only lived in the pub for 2 years.Although it was great at the time i was now 22 with no qualifications , 2 children and 1 on the way. By this time i was in a tight grip of the booze. From then till early this year i dont know how many times ive hit rock bottom but its a lot. I never hurt my family physically but being the person i have been in the past i havnt done my wife and children any favours. We still have no money.Towards the what i hope was the end of my drinking i was putting away 6 cans of 9% lager or 3 litres of cider 9% or if we were a bit better off one week a litre of dark rum(My faviroute) every night, i usually got the jitters about 5 but it was starting to get earlier and earlier.i was scared stiff of waking up and needing a drink as soon as i opened my eyes.i had just lost my latest underpaid job through drink and felt my body was feeling a lot older and beat up than it should. I decided to go to my Doctor.That was the first time i told anybody apart from my wife about my problem. It was such a relief. I felt that the ball at long last was starting to roll. June 2nd i went into detox at Lancaster hospital for 12 days.Id never spent that amount of time away from my wife and children before.It was the longest and hardest 12 days of my life.I know ill never do that again. I missed them too much.I know if i drink now its been for nothing.Its now nearly 7 weeks later.It has got a little easier although most nights i could murder a drink.Like a post i was reading earlier its all or nothing,i wish i could just have 1 drink but i cant.I keep thinking to myself you could get hit by a bus tomorrow..or..you only live once...But my kids are only kids once and i want to be a dad.My wife has been unbelivable through everything ( if i was her i would have left me).The thing in my head now that is keeping me from cracking up is the thought that yes i will have a drink again one day maybe when im 60 or retired. I think its just easier than saying to youself never again.
Good Luck everyone xxx
Good Luck everyone xxx
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