a diet of the mind

[Guest]

a diet of the mind

Re: Change is good!

Backpackerlv
Wow,
"Profound" is an understatment. Thanks for your story, and being so honest. Are you on the program? Supps? Topamax? CD? Excercise? Doctor?

I'm less than a month in, have not started CD's, am at 100 mg Topamax, and it has really cut down on my drinking, without me really trying. I just don't care about it as much anymore, though I still drink daily in the evenings. It is impossible for me to get drunk or black out or even get high like I used to. I just can't, or don't wan't to drink that much any more. It's like a switch in my brain has been flipped.

I'm actually looking forward now to the point where I will abstain for 6 weeks, and just clear my head out and make some decisions.

I can't really slam AA, as I have never done it. But if you don't want to do it, then why force it? Are you tring this program in total yet?

Also, a checkup can be fine, but don't overdue it. When I met my doc for the first time to get the off label Topamax, she had never heard of its use for this before. I took her the book and the Lancet study, which she read. She agreed to put me on it. She knows I need a full check up, but said she thought that would be too much for me to go through all at once, so she just checked my blood.

Good luck

[Guest]

a diet of the mind

A diet of the mind

Hello,

I have one thing to say, get the book order the supplements and do it now!

Your email was compelling and made me feel like sharing; first timer here as well. I'm pushing the big 5 O and been drinking since it was legal, however these past years I'm embarassed at how much - big closet drinker. I have been afraid to stop drinking because I talked myself into thinking it gave me an edge, humor, wit, and creative ideas - maybe a long time ago, because now I'm a drag. What's tosses my cookie is every morning wanting to just die, and by the afternoon talking myself into doing the same thing again. Every night waking up in a cold sweat swearing no more, please no more, but doing this day-after-day for years -exhausting. I've tried kudzo, an opiad relief pill, vitamins, and accupuncture, no relief. I stumbled onto this website in one of "help me" searches, and after reading Rebecca's Story and the various emails decided I'd try it. This is the part that blows my mind - I've been taking supplements for four days and the 5 minute let's drink warning bell is gone and I mean gone. Sure I think about it but not in the same way. It's not compulsive like before I can't explain it yet. I plan to see a Doctor if the grim reaper starts creeping in. Right now I'm not thinking about if I can ever have a drink or not, but to move on with life and keep that compulsive nag that consumes my life shut-out. If I can enjoy an adult beverage like a rational adult so be it. But I want to LIVE and laugh and just be normal (what ever that is.)

[Guest]

a diet of the mind

Re: A diet of the mind

Spacie,
Your'e in the right frame of mind to start this program. Don't worry yet about totally stopping someday or not, just find a doc if you can, start the program, tweak it if you need to, hang on for the ride, and the decisions will come later as you will naturally crave it less and less, you will then drink less (if like me, without even trying on Topamax, supps, and mild excercise) your mind will be clearer.

Before you know it, you will start sleeping more deep, restful sleep. Then on down the line, when your mind and body is ready, you'll be prepared to make those decisions.

[Guest]

a diet of the mind

Wow - you have just described myself - I could have written that, truly - down to the way you feel in the morning, the way you are at work etc and again, how that friend calls round for you every night - it gets exhausting, and I am exhausted. Have stumbled across this in desparation of failing to turn up for an interview today (yet more excuses because a nice girl like me doesn't drink - my life has become one big fat lie) I can't believe that my search of desperation with a pounding head a self-loathing brought me to this sight - I'm so inspired - your story word for word is identical to what I think, feel, experiencing at the moment. I want to jump on that wagon and hold on tight, just don't know how to - just spend most of my sober moments disgusted with myself and putting on a pretence to the outside world, work, friends, my kids (even my kids think it's acceptable to drink like I do every night and that scares me something more than I can say, I don't ever want them to befriend this demon).
Thank you, thank you for sharing your soul on here, I do hope your winning and have chucked that key away.
My self-loathing has gone for the day, sun down, moon up and cork screw out - phew, where does it end?