Here's two aspects of my alcoholism that greatly trouble me:
1. Sometimes I take Antabuse to stop drinking - but not for long. Life becomes a total bore. Things I enjoy like cycling or swimming, even work on occasions, become an ordeal. All I want to do is get the day over with and sleep. You might call this depression but it's completely different from the hellish suicidal depression that hits me - like now - after a three-day bender. I can only enjoy some activity if I know there'll be drinking afterwards, and despite the weight of evidence stating the contrary, I always think I'll be in charge of that drinking.
2. Apart from the depression, my worst hangover symptom is a raging, insatiable sex drive. The tension, the build-up of pressure, makes you feel you'll explode at any moment. Walking through a mine-field would be preferable, even without the promise of a crate of Lowenbrau Oktoberfest if I made it.
I went to a psychiatrist with this problem. The first consultation cost ?120. On arriving at the hospital, the receptionist asked me if I'd like anything while I waited. Yes, a large gin and tonic would be nice, I joked. With ice and lemon? Yes, thank you. It was a high class joint - the drink arrived in thirty seconds.
The psychiatrist had never heard of such a thing. He said he'd do some research and send his results to my doctor. The diagnosis: there's definately something wrong with you but I don't know what it is. Stop drinking and take these tablets.
Cyproterone is banned in the US. Here in England, its rarely prescribed - and then only to imprisoned sex offenders, especially paedophiles. It inhibits the production of testosterone, which is fine but, oddly, it doesn't kill the desire. It does, however, remove the means to satiate that desire, thereby driving you insane. It also makes you go bald and grow breasts.
The answer of course is simply to not drink.
I wonder if anyone has experienced similar horrors?
Archie
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