First, I want to thank you all for your stories and courage, yes, I have been lurking, and researching. I have the topa, I have the supps, I have cds and I went to a hypno last week and the next 3 days were the worst I've had in a long time! The last day and a half, I feel in much more control and actually haven't had anything at all, although I did receive an email from my long time bf who doesn't live with me, who said "when you go out and drink again, and you will, don't call me", which, fortunately, I didn't read until this afternoon, so I'm much stronger. So, please..any advice on not only dealing with my own self destructive tendencies, but a so-called "partner" who is completely unsupportive would be greatly appreciative as I really need to do this before I completely unravel everything. Thank to all and good luck.
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Self Destructive?
"Disconnect" with him however you can. He sounds very mean spirited, and probably has some growing up on his own to do.
An ideafrom a book I am reading says that we abuse ourselves far than anybody else does. In fact, our own level is set by ourselves. If anyone else begins to abuse us as much as we abuse ourselves, we make them stop. How interesting. (The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz) -
Self Destructive?
re:self destructive?
Thanks. This is hard enough without that "support". But I know it's going to be harder and harder the closer I get to the center of what is really at the core of why I'm self destructive and sabotaging myself. Keep up the good work for you though. Your posts help a lot and I'm hanging in with 0 drinks although I did titre up quickly on the topa and the kudzu to get me past the crazy stress cravings on the holiday showing of "support". Especially since my daughter brought me a 1/2 gallon of Vodka Saturday which is still sitting untouched in my lower cupboard.:Comment
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Self Destructive?
RE: Self Destructive?
I explored your suggestion on the book. Thank you. Oddly, years ago I read many of Carlos Castaneda's books. Here is a review that I found on Amazon which was an excellent summary...Thank you thank you for replying and helping me find a path again...Don Miguel Ruiz is known as a nagual, or shaman, of the Toltec tradition. The Toltecs were an ancient group of scientists and artists that was formed to explore and preserve the practices and spiritual knowledge of the ancient ones. It is not a religion, but a way of life that embraces spirit and honors all the spiritual masters who have taught on the earth. Toltec wisdom arises from the same essential unity of truth as other sacred esoteric traditions that are found all over the world.
The Four Agreements are very simple, but very profound. To embrace and live each of the Four Agreements is to find yourself experiencing personal freedom--possibly as never before. The Four Agreements are:
Be Impeccable With Your Words
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best
From the cover of the book:
Be Impeccable With Your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Don't Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Don't Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
This book may be small in size, but it packs a hefty punch in terms of shattering personal illusions and opening up a path to personal freedom. I consider this book a must-have for anyone wanting to become more conscious and wanting freedom from personal stories and agreements that cause suffering.Comment
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Self Destructive?
Re: RE: Self Destructive?
Yes, that is an accurate summary, but I'm glad I did not see that before I read the book, as it comes off like a "code of ethics" which really turns me off, yet in reading the book itself, it does not come off that way at all.
Instead, it seems very common sense, universal, thoughtful, and humble in its approach, but the agreements, while they seem simple, are not necessarily easy to implement, at least to me, on a daily basis. In that way, I find it deceptively simple in a way, but not intentionally so, as he never says any of it is easy, in fact, to the contrary. And while many would label this a ?self help book,? I would, not. I would use instead its subtitle, ?A Wisdom Book.?Comment
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Self Destructive?
Simple
Simple.dump the boyfriendComment
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