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BRAVO Lulu!! I know it wasn't easy to share your story, but thank you for doing so!! You had so much loss in such a short time!! Being estranged from your mom and sister is not at all easy either. My heart goes out to you. You do however, as it sounds, have alot to live for though!! Children are the essence of are being. Be strong for your son, you can do it!!

Donna

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wow

LuLu,

What a life-- you are some strong woman! Your son is a lucky little guy. I am deeply sorry for all the sorrow you have had to endure. How long have you been doing MWO and how has it been going for you? What about your partner? You mentionned the two of you drank together. Has that been an issue?
I have two little girls. Sometimes I would get really impatient and skip pages in the bed time books so I could get back downstairs to my drink. They would notice of course.
Thanks for sharing you very touching story.

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Re: wow

Wow Lulu! You have had an incredible journey to where you are now, and understandably so. I too struggled with drinking before my last baby was born. I quit during the pregnancy, moderated also with beer during breastfeeding (never drank beer before... always a red wine drinker), and then back to wine after I weaned him. Having a child DOES bring a lot of balance and sense of "time to grow up" and responsibility to yourself, as the child in a sense holds you accountable by their very presence in your life. But I thought having the baby would make me stop; it didnt. My son is now eight years old and I am still struggling with it. So you are in the right place, and the sooner you get a handle on it, the better. I wish I had found this site a little sooner, but am just grateful that I found it at all.

Thank you so much for sharing your story... I really think it helps others so much to be able to read other's stories as we no longer feel so alone. I think one of the worst things about struggling with alcohol is that we feel we are "the only one" who struggles like this, and it is simply not true.

Thank you, and best of luck!

Allie

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Donna and Jenny

Hi,

Thaks for your messages. It does feel better to get it all out! My son is definately the best thing in my life - it's amazing what a different perspective you get when a child has to come first.

Today is my 14th day without a drink and it has so far been relatively smooth. I get cravings at around 6pm but I just pop a couple of calms and do something else. It's my birthday next week though and a bunch of old girlfriends are organising something - I haven't yet told them I'm on the wagon (have been quite a recluse the last few months) so I anticipate a few questions and, while I know they won't pressure me, they will certainly be drinking...watch this space.

My partner still drinks, not as often as he used to, but when he does he really DRINKS. We have always had a pretty volatile relationship, so I won't lie and say it's been easy - but we love eachother and our son so I am hoping that will get us through!!! He has just landed a really good job which he is (rightly) proud of, and it involves more responsibility than he is used to, so that may also help to calm him down, (I hope).

Thanks again for your support - I know the two of you have both had it pretty tough too and you deserve to achieve your goals.

hugs

Lulu

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Allie

Hi Allie,

It's funny how easily we can rationalise doing something when we are in the grips of addiction - like drinking beer while breast feeding our babies.

I remember my father in law saying that beer helped the production of milk (he's not a drinker and was just repeating an old wives tale) - I almost convinced myself this was true and that I was doing something good! (all the while imagining the day when I could start to drink as much as I wanted to again).

This site has been an inspiration for me. I realise now I have fallen out of love with alcohol.

I had planned on stopping drinking anyway when I went to stay with the inlaws for a week, but when I found this site a few days before it was as though it was meant to be. I really don't think I would have lasted more than 3 days if I hadn't found everyone here, in the same boat as me. My aim is to do at least 30 days abstinence and then have a go at moderation - not too sure about that though as I don't want to take topamax.

take care and see you on the boards sometime!

Lulu x

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Re: Lulu

Hi Lulu,
Just wanted to say how much i appreciate your courage in sharing your story.. and how much it helps me to be able to read it. I know it takes a lot of work & consideration to put one's story into words.. and i worry myself how & when i will be able to do it. I'm sure it's a key experience in moving on into a new life... to clearly recognise the old life.
So love, hugs & power to you!
MFM

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thanks

Hi MFM,

I've seen you about on the boards - it's good to "meet" you finally!!

Thank you for your lovely message. It is amazing to me that ultimately, sharing our stories can be the source of so much change and positivity.

Please don't worry about telling your story - you shouldn't feel pressure to do it, only if you want to. I did worry a little (after i'd posted it - typical me) but everyone has been so nice, now I'm glad I did.

I hope you are right about the key to a new life - that sounds good to me!!

Good luck on your journey, and lots of hugs!

Lulu x

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lulu, why did you delete your story? There was a lot of good feedback from others and I saw your story was gone.

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I too would like to read your story. We are all here for each other. Let us know how you are doing. Hope you will tell your story again. E

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Lulu hun,

Where did you go? I was saddened to see you'd deleted your story. I came to have a look because I thought you'd added to it after not hearing from you for so long and it had gone...
I hope you are ok. I guess that now just isn't the right time for you, that's fair enough, hell, I've been there enough times! I meant what I said that time about you being a special person...don't forget that. Sending you strength (we all need some of that sometimes) and hugs.

-Michelle x