Growing up all I wanted was a large group of friends. When I turned 15 I met the people that I would call my FAMILY. Now when your in high school its all about being cool and fitting in, and thats exactly what I wanted and got. It all starting with smoking pot and drinking beer on friday and saturday nights having some of the best times in my life doing that. Then it went from doing that on on weekends to get hi before, during and after school. So needless say I never walked across that stage. So let go a couple of years down the road.
We'll its true what they marajuana is a " the gateway drug" When I was 18 I started experimenting with XANEX and EXTACY. and nearly lost everything. When I look back and think the of the stuff that I did while I was on that stuff I am so amazed that I am alive today typing this, and the on November 22, 2000 ( thanksgiving ) my life changed. I got the news my dad passed away, and its not like I had know he was sick it just happened. So I got really depressed and started drinking heavily and popping pills like they were going out of style. Now I had a lot oif friends that would stop by on a daily basis witch I was depressed so the only thing I wanted was to be alone, and my large group of friends dwindled down.
Now I have good career making good money but they drug test so I had to quit all my drug taking ( witch is good ) the only bad thing about that is I drink now. Now have that apearence of a happy go lucky kind of guy but just below the skin I am a very depressed person. I mean I hate life witch I shouldn't I still have a couple of close friends, a family and like I said a very good job with a future. The only thing I don't have is somone to share my life with and I know the reason is because I drink. Because I am still dealing with my dads ghost and that was over 5 years ago. I know its not my looks cause I have been told on several ocassions that I am attractive I have women all the time giving me there numbers, but I don't have any self esteem another draw back from drinkingto much. I want to quit drinking but I don't in the same way. Latly when I have been drinking I have been thinking about suicide. Something has to change...........
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