I love reading biographies. For me, everytime I identify with a similar story, it is helpfuul.
I grew up in the American Mid-West. The nearest neighbors were miles away. My sister and brother were both much older then I. Living in such isolated conditions forced me to live in a world of imagination. Even television was off-limits. The church bus was always there to take me away. When I started school, I was almost completely unsocialized. I had only related to adults and older kids. I didn't speak to any of my classmates until I was in upper elementary school. Painful shyness only begins to describe it. The only thing I would give of myself were drawings. The response flamed my ego. And kept me going. At 13, I drank a bottle of whiskey and passed out in my parents house. When they came home, they called an ambulance. As a result of the whole episode, I damaged a valve in my heart. My first hangover was so big that I didn't start drinking again until I was in college. Tthe last thing you want to be in the rough and tumble Midwest, is a "faggot". Going to college was traumatic for all of the usual reasons, but, repressing my sexuality made it much more so. I felt like a horrible person, hiding a big, ugly secret. And, Boy oh, Boy, Drinking sure did help numb those feelings?!
After graduating with a business degree that I never wanted, I found my first boyfriend in a bar. I would find that key to my new "out" life was drinking in bars. Or was it just drinking? As I started moving around the country I found it was much easier to go out to the new, unknown places already buzzed.
A six pack at home before going out, why not? And this is when it all gets a little cloudy. For about a decade. Marching on Washington, watching friends die amongst a river of denial, viewing the towers fall from my fire escape, Ammendments to the Constitution and all the such. Its definately enough to drive any thinking person to drink. Who Am I? I am someone on day 90 saying, its worth the trip. I could have gone one way or another, and I still could, but, for now, I am really happy that I have landed with my....ultimate posibilities.
Mitch
I grew up in the American Mid-West. The nearest neighbors were miles away. My sister and brother were both much older then I. Living in such isolated conditions forced me to live in a world of imagination. Even television was off-limits. The church bus was always there to take me away. When I started school, I was almost completely unsocialized. I had only related to adults and older kids. I didn't speak to any of my classmates until I was in upper elementary school. Painful shyness only begins to describe it. The only thing I would give of myself were drawings. The response flamed my ego. And kept me going. At 13, I drank a bottle of whiskey and passed out in my parents house. When they came home, they called an ambulance. As a result of the whole episode, I damaged a valve in my heart. My first hangover was so big that I didn't start drinking again until I was in college. Tthe last thing you want to be in the rough and tumble Midwest, is a "faggot". Going to college was traumatic for all of the usual reasons, but, repressing my sexuality made it much more so. I felt like a horrible person, hiding a big, ugly secret. And, Boy oh, Boy, Drinking sure did help numb those feelings?!
After graduating with a business degree that I never wanted, I found my first boyfriend in a bar. I would find that key to my new "out" life was drinking in bars. Or was it just drinking? As I started moving around the country I found it was much easier to go out to the new, unknown places already buzzed.
A six pack at home before going out, why not? And this is when it all gets a little cloudy. For about a decade. Marching on Washington, watching friends die amongst a river of denial, viewing the towers fall from my fire escape, Ammendments to the Constitution and all the such. Its definately enough to drive any thinking person to drink. Who Am I? I am someone on day 90 saying, its worth the trip. I could have gone one way or another, and I still could, but, for now, I am really happy that I have landed with my....ultimate posibilities.
Mitch