Thanks Gyco and Doggy girl!!! This people on this site are wonderful. The supplements are helping. Though I think also realizing that not drinking isn't a magic bullet and that I still have to deal with my problems, just in a different way. Also, that drinking is not a reward. I love not being hungover and feeling guilty the next day. Like you said Doggygirl it is great to break the continuous booze/hangover cycle!
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Thanks Gyco and Doggy girl!!! This people on this site are wonderful. The supplements are helping. Though I think also realizing that not drinking isn't a magic bullet and that I still have to deal with my problems, just in a different way. Also, that drinking is not a reward. I love not being hungover and feeling guilty the next day. Like you said Doggygirl it is great to break the continuous booze/hangover cycle!
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Feeling vulnerable
Today was harder for me. I started crying this morning. My 4 year old asked me why I was crying and I didn't really know exactly why. I realize I have been numbing myself with alcohol for many years. I also am great at falling into the "poor me" trap. I also have used alcohol to be "more social" since I am a shy person, but hate myself the next day. I am suppose to have people over New Year's Eve for a drinking party I planned before I decided to quit. Maybe we just won't have people over. I really don't want to drink, but I do want to play board games and be social. I guess I am so use to the excitement of drinking and need to realize that everyday is not a party. That sometimes life is boring, but boring can be good. I know I can have fun without it. This past weekend we played board games with a non drinking couple and it was fun (and I didn't drink). I forget where I read it, but someone said if you want to quit drinking don't expect it to be easy. It is difficult, but I need to keep looking for that light at the end of the tunnel. I feel better now. I always thought you have to be tough to be a drunk because the hangovers are so horrible. So I guess I can be tough, I just need to be tough in a new way.
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Making any change to your life is tough. For people like us giving up AL is very tough. I have a party to go to on NYE and I plan to stay sober. I do have 1 friend that doesn't drink, she just says I don't drink, I don't see the point of it. Not one of us judge her negatively for it. People that are coming over to drink, they will be too busy having a great time to notice or worry about your lack of drinking. If someone does carry on about it, maybe it is because AL doesn't make them feel great either.
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You made some good points Ezzmae. I think NYE will be tough for a lot of us, but the reward the next day will be worth it. I think I will put out a lot of food on NYE so it isn't just about the drinks. I will stay in control. I think other people who drink a lot like others to drink so they don't feel different or it makes them think it is o.k. (it justifies their own behavior).
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Oh sweetie, you will be fine. I think it was the second week of being Af that I had a flood of tears. For no reason at all. It is good to let that natural emotion out and set you free.
NYE doesn't necessarily mean you have to drink. I know that we have a lot of programs here that are 'dry' nights including NYE, if one chooses it. You will be surprised at how many people don't drink; and these people don't even have a problem!
Chin up high, and enjoy your life. Being without AL is a good thing!!! You won't be missing out at all!If you want something bad enough - you can achieve it!
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