I arrived at MWO a year ago this month. My first post carried the title of Alcohol Manifesto: referring to my list of reasons why I quit drinking, all the things I hate about drinking to excess. I gave this list to my husband the morning I quit. At the bottom of the list I asked for his support “no matter what”. I knew that alcohol is a tough battle.
I had quit drinking a few days before finding the MWO web site. I was searching titles at Amazon.com, looking for resources that would help me stay sober. I had also searched for alcoholism online forums, and one was mentioned in the Amazon reviews of My Way Out. Through Amazon I bought MWO, Allan Carr’s Easy Way to Quit Drinking, and an AA book. I never had plans to attend AA in the small towns around me, so this last publication was not helpful. Carr’s book was helpful, but the best support for me has been the MWO forums. I did not have anything to drink from January until a retirement celebration in April.
I guess both a strength and the downside of MWO is that moderate drinking is offered as an option. The forum support is wonderful, but that idea of moderate drinking was now dangling in front of me. Might I be one who could learn to drink moderately? Many on the forums said that they could not, but there is no answer to this question for any individual. I had not used meds nor supplements to quit drinking, so I did not feel I should use them to enable me to start drinking again. Yet, that seemed to be how drinking moderately was achieved by most who posted in the moderation sections. Certainly one’s drinking history comes into play: I was never a heavy daily drinker, so maybe I could consider this option. The only way to find out was to experiment. My husband still drinks moderately, and it would be nice to share wine with him.
April, May, June went OK. I drank moderately every weekend, and sometimes during the week. This is pretty much my perceived pattern of most here who drink moderately. I avoided drinking Sunday p.m., which had been my abusive habit. When July and August arrived, I began drinking more frequently, because I only work part-time in the summer. I simply had not learned to manage that much unstructured time without alcohol. I no longer felt in control. I quit again in late July. I only lasted two weeks, but I started using Drink Tracker to improve my awareness of how much I really was consuming. ONLY RECORD HONEST DRINKS, 1 glass wine = 5 oz. Otherwise, I would only be fooling myself. I started filling my wine glass with an AF beverage whenever I wanted "a drink", sat in the same chair, re-created the drinking event without alcohol. In September I went back to work full-time, but I decided to limit my drinking to no more than once per week. I decided to focus on frequency and less on number of drinks. I drank alone on Friday nights, and I recorded up to four drinks on each of those nights through September. It took so much effort to try and stop at two drinks! I then decided that I just did not want to do this any more. I want to drink occasionally, socially, not just get blitzed in my chair.
In October I managed one AF weekend, then two weekends in November. I was AF from Thanksgiving until December 21, joined in several social opportunities over the holidays, and now I will be AF for at least two weeks in January. I now feel in control over alcohol, but I also know that I will always want to drink more than normal people. The less often I drink, the more control I will have.
Throughout all of this, I posted most days at MWO. Many individuals here have helped me heal, but especially WIP. A strong, supportive group formed in the moderation section in September/October, and I give them huge credit for listening to me, respecting me and loving me. We have worked together to emphasize making a plan to drink moderately; it does not happen magically, it is something some can learn to do. I have found My Way Out. I will continue to post here, because I hope I can help others find their own path. If they want to choose my path, I am happy to share, but I know it is a very individual decision.:thanks:
I had quit drinking a few days before finding the MWO web site. I was searching titles at Amazon.com, looking for resources that would help me stay sober. I had also searched for alcoholism online forums, and one was mentioned in the Amazon reviews of My Way Out. Through Amazon I bought MWO, Allan Carr’s Easy Way to Quit Drinking, and an AA book. I never had plans to attend AA in the small towns around me, so this last publication was not helpful. Carr’s book was helpful, but the best support for me has been the MWO forums. I did not have anything to drink from January until a retirement celebration in April.
I guess both a strength and the downside of MWO is that moderate drinking is offered as an option. The forum support is wonderful, but that idea of moderate drinking was now dangling in front of me. Might I be one who could learn to drink moderately? Many on the forums said that they could not, but there is no answer to this question for any individual. I had not used meds nor supplements to quit drinking, so I did not feel I should use them to enable me to start drinking again. Yet, that seemed to be how drinking moderately was achieved by most who posted in the moderation sections. Certainly one’s drinking history comes into play: I was never a heavy daily drinker, so maybe I could consider this option. The only way to find out was to experiment. My husband still drinks moderately, and it would be nice to share wine with him.
April, May, June went OK. I drank moderately every weekend, and sometimes during the week. This is pretty much my perceived pattern of most here who drink moderately. I avoided drinking Sunday p.m., which had been my abusive habit. When July and August arrived, I began drinking more frequently, because I only work part-time in the summer. I simply had not learned to manage that much unstructured time without alcohol. I no longer felt in control. I quit again in late July. I only lasted two weeks, but I started using Drink Tracker to improve my awareness of how much I really was consuming. ONLY RECORD HONEST DRINKS, 1 glass wine = 5 oz. Otherwise, I would only be fooling myself. I started filling my wine glass with an AF beverage whenever I wanted "a drink", sat in the same chair, re-created the drinking event without alcohol. In September I went back to work full-time, but I decided to limit my drinking to no more than once per week. I decided to focus on frequency and less on number of drinks. I drank alone on Friday nights, and I recorded up to four drinks on each of those nights through September. It took so much effort to try and stop at two drinks! I then decided that I just did not want to do this any more. I want to drink occasionally, socially, not just get blitzed in my chair.
In October I managed one AF weekend, then two weekends in November. I was AF from Thanksgiving until December 21, joined in several social opportunities over the holidays, and now I will be AF for at least two weeks in January. I now feel in control over alcohol, but I also know that I will always want to drink more than normal people. The less often I drink, the more control I will have.
Throughout all of this, I posted most days at MWO. Many individuals here have helped me heal, but especially WIP. A strong, supportive group formed in the moderation section in September/October, and I give them huge credit for listening to me, respecting me and loving me. We have worked together to emphasize making a plan to drink moderately; it does not happen magically, it is something some can learn to do. I have found My Way Out. I will continue to post here, because I hope I can help others find their own path. If they want to choose my path, I am happy to share, but I know it is a very individual decision.:thanks:
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