hung over

[jelly babe]

Hi there, I have been drinking for the past 4 years every single day and cannot stop I am at the point in my life where I do not know how to stop. Both my parents were alcholics but now do not drink at all. I lost my son to cancer 4 years ago next month he was 7 years old. I cannot come to terms with it I have a daughter she is 9 years old I am presently trying to conceive, but no success I was sterilised and got reversed i miscarried 2 times and have had no luck since then, i am on tranquillizers (plse excuse my spelling) and cannot stop that eithere, i have severe panick attacks and cannot breath until i take a tablet or drink i have come to a dead end please helppppppppppppppppppppppp.

[aidanspappa]

hung over

Jelly;

You are doing the best thing for yourself, by coming here. Just wait, the response you will get from everyone here will be so overwhelming (I speak from experience) it will be as if you have just discovered a room full of "best friends" who all share the same nightmare. I know, I am/was just like you. We all, in some sort or fashion, have had the same feelings you have right now. The most important thing to do (right now) is to get the book. Also, as you are waiting, read everyone's story in here. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! That was my biggest problem, I thought I was going to kill myself with my binge drinking and started going to work hung-over, depressed, thoughts of no hope. There is hope, and we are all right here waiting to help you. You see, by helping you...we help ourselves too.

Big Hug,

Aidan's Pappa

[veritas]

hung over

Jelly, welcome and a beeeeg hug.

You do sound depressed and the medication you are taking is only getting rid of your symptoms for a brief period. Not only that, they are also addictive.
I am urging you to seek really good professional treatment.
By the sounds of your post, you have been through one trauma after another and it's all just too much.

I don't know what country you live in, but we have a group in South Africa, called "the compassionate friends". It is a support group of parents who have lost children. If you have somethig similar where you live, go and chat and allow them to lead you to the right professional.

Please, stay on board and best wishes.

[johnnyh]

hung over

Hi Jelly Babe.

First of all a very very warm welcome.

I am glad that you have made it to this forum as it has helped and is helping many.

I really do feel your pain. I have a little boy and cannot imagine the pain it would cause to loose him. I too have an alcoholic parent who has quit drinking some time ago but is struggling and relapsing at regular intervals. It has strenghtened our relationship though as we do understand each others problems.
I do or rather did struggle from panic attacks and been on anit depressant helping me. They did not help untill I quit drinking last month and it has been uphill since than.

Keep posting here and you will find friendship and the support you'll need. We are all in the same boat writh regards to AL and many share a similar story to yours.

i am looking forward to hearing more from you.

Lots of luv.

[New Creation]

hung over

Hi Jelly Babe,
I, too, lost my son. It has been 16 years now. He was 4. The first year is extremely difficult. All the first holidays, birthday, vacations, etc. without your son. The pain IS excruciating. Be patient with yourself. I PROMISE that you will laugh again, that you will enjoy life again. The pain never goes away (like living with a hole in your heart) but it does lessen. Where right now you think about him practically every minute; one day you will find that you went a whole day without thinking about him! Two things helped me alot: (1) thinking about how amazing heaven is and how much fun Curtis must be having. For example, when we were on vacation, tubing down a river I thought about how maybe Curtis was at that very moment tubing down a river; but for him, the river was amazingly beautiful, crystal clear, he could see the beautiful fish swimming beneath him, the temperature was perfect, no bugs, no sunburn.....just beauty and joy and love. Thinking like that, and thinking about all of the people that he was enjoying helped. I knew that he wasn't missing me. In fact would not have wanted to come back from such a place. Someone told me once that if I lived to be 100 that by the time I saw Curtis again he would have felt like he had been away from me for about 45 minutes. And what a time away! (2) every time I felt that excruciating, cannot breathe, kind of pain, I thanked God for it. I figured that the only reason that God made my pain that intense was because he wanted me to feel intense JOY when I see Curtis again. Seeing him will be that much more incredible after having experienced the sadness of losing him. I can't wait! Anyway, I am here for you. Write to me if you need me. I wonder if we can give out our phone numbers??? I will be praying for you. I promise, it gets better! Life gets good! You will be able to accomplish anything.....you will have strength again. I promise. Just be patient and allow yourself to go through the grieving process.