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    My Story

    I started drinking around the age of 16. We use to travel to Staten Island with fake ID's. Drank all thru high school and didn't stop after that. Got my first DWI around the age of 25. Married when I was 30. My drinking and his drugging destroyed that after 2 years. Had a son which stopped me for awhile, but not for long. Started bartending and that was the beginning of the end. Drank just about every night. It was free too! Started with the cocaine and went thru alot of money, but thankfully never got addicted to it. Bartended for almost 20 yrs. Got My second DWI when I was about 38.. Again cost me tons of money. That didn't stop me. Kept right on drinking and got my third DWI just a few years ago. They were all ten years apart so I only lost my license for 6months at a time. I lost my two jobs after the last one.. One I had to quit because I had no way to get there. The other I was fired because a customer smelled alcohol on my breath and informed my boss. One of many jobs I had lost over the years from drinking. With the last DWI I had to move in with my sister. After her seeing me drunk numerous times, she put me in a rehab for 30 days. They recommended a long term facility and I ended up in the Salvation Army for 9 months. There I settled down and actually enjoyed being there. Never met so many sincere people, all there to help you in any way they could. I got kicked out for cursing at a supervisor. I was so mad at myself. I was just about to reach the phase on how to cope when released, and finding a job b4 I left. I was no way ready to go home. I think if I were able to complete the phases, I would have never started drinking again.

    That was May. By Aug. I had to go detox for 4 days in a rehab. That was 1 yr. ago this past Aug. Since then I have been hospitalized 4 x's for al. related reasons. 2x's the police picked me up and brought me to ER. Don't even remember why. Once I called 911 myself because I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I just couldn't calm down. It was a panic attack.

    When I started getting pains in my back, under my ribs and swollen legs these past weeks, I finally had to say to myself, "Enough is enough!" I lost the most recent job I had due to al. I work at Giant Stad. also, just during the FB season on Suns. only. That's over now.

    So presently I have no job, no license, and about $200 to my name. My sister forbids me to get my license back. Says her rates would skyrocket since I live under her roof. So that's not an option. Let's not forget that my credit is shot too. Judgements, garnishees, etc. That stops me from having anything in my name. They'll conviscate anything I own. The only way I see myself getting out of this mess is if I win the lottery, or applying for one of these gov't grants I see plastered all over the internet. Anybody know anything about them? Any suggestions are welcome.

    Welcome to my world! :elk:
    Starting over again
    ray:

    #2
    My Story

    Hey Mary Ann, Thanks for sharing your story and Welcome! It looks like you have some serious decisions to make to get your life back on course. I hope that you decide to stop drinking and that is why you are here. You can find help here but basically you have to decide if you want to pull yourself together and begin this process with not drinking. At all. None. Please get over winning the lottery. It is not going to happen. As you begin to lead a sober life you will be able to think more clearly and make more rational decisions. There is help here. You must make the comittment to not drink and come here often for support. Many begin by coming here a few times a day. After getting a handle on their drinking habits many come here at least once a day, even after months and months of not drinking... It all begins with making a decision for just one day. Today. Please stick around. :welcome:
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      #3
      My Story

      Hulagirl

      Yes I have made a serious commitment to stop drinking. It's been a week 2day AF. I found this forum about 2 weeks ago and have been on it practically all day long ever since. I find it extremely helpful being that there aren't too many people around that I can talk to, in fact, nobody. Thanks for your reply.
      Starting over again
      ray:

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        #4
        My Story

        Hi Mary Ann. I think there are a lot of us here that feel like we have no one to talk to. I know I don't. Some how the making friends part of adult life has eluded me. There was a time when I thought I had friends but they were aquaintences. All we had in common were kids together in scouts, sports, etc. The only parties I went to were kids birthday parties when they were small, or church parties where everyone is invited or work parties (which I don't go to too many...the drinking issue. Either I didn't want them to see me drinking or I didn't want to go and be around drinking people.) I've gone to a few band or football parties with hubby because he (and I) were invited but I just haven't made any girl friends of my own...So what I'm trying to say, even though it looks like I'm feeling sorry for myself, that wasn't my intention, is that you are not alone here.
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          #5
          My Story

          Hulagirl

          Yeah I hear you. The so called friends I thought I had were merely drinking associates. Sure I could call them up, but there wouldn't be anything to discuss being that their lives center around al. as mine did in the past. I'm getting to know the girls at the AA meetings just takes a little time. Day 8 AF :happy: Have a great day! :elk:
          Starting over again
          ray:

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            #6
            My Story

            Hi Mary Ann! I am sorry to hear you have been through so much. I sympathize with feeling alone. I've felt pretty isolated since my divorce, which led to my drinking, which led to more isolation --- yuck. This community is the best!
            :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

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              #7
              My Story

              Hi, Mary Ann,
              I've been gone a week and just trying to catch up here. I started MWO in Aug '08, and it's been a Godsend for me. Not easy, not a magic bullet, not the lottery, but at first I too stayed here all day, talking, learning, making friends. Now, I've grown so much, and changed so much I'm not even the person I was 6 months ago. You CAN overcome all your problems, one at a time, but AL comes first, and then you'll find the strength (and the support) to tackle the others. It sounds like your at a point where you can't lose anything else much, so you've already started a great base being AF this long! We are a great family of world wide friends. Glad you're here!
              Ruby
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              Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
              awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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                #8
                My Story

                Hi Mary Ann

                I wish you so much future happiness .. and I know that one day you and I can both have happiness in our lives without the dreaded drink..you have been through so much and it's time now for you to find peace and love for yourself... I am new myself but this seems to be a very caring and supportive community..

                Day 8 is awesome... give yourself a pat on the back for that..you are so worth it..
                I've never made it past day 8 myself but I'm hoping for better things here..
                Good luck

                Mrs. Hyde

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                  #9
                  My Story

                  I had racked up a huge mobile phone of numbers, most of which were drinking buddies. I remember a beautiful momment when i went through my numbers and deleted anyone who was not a positive influence in my life. Sounds extreme? Well what's the good of spring cleaning your house but letting your social life get dirty and dusty. I have found one of the best ways to meet people is by doing volunteer work. I found that other people that volunteer ( unless being forced to by a judge! ) are a good bunch of pple with a common desire to help others ( sound like somewhere ? ), often there are a lot of Non drinkers to then socialise with after. There are so many opportunitys... Preparing food and then distributing it to the homeless/needy is a real eye opener. You get to see the extreme end of alcoholism and drugs and the devastating lack of 'quality ' in their lives.

                  I think when making new friends we need to remember that it really can take time to build something of worth, I know that I often expect people to just ' me my mate ' straight of the bat, but others take time and don't trust as easily.

                  Best of luck building those solid foundations.
                  Sober since Jan 17th 09
                  Smoke free since 20th Nov 08 :H

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                    #10
                    My Story

                    Mrs. Hyde and wanna b free

                    Thanks so much for your advice and support. People like you is what is keeping me AF. Day 9 :happy:
                    Starting over again
                    ray:

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