not over-joyful tonite..
Taking on too many things right now. Diet, trying to get a job, had my hair done and it looks like total sh*t, husband is out again, its like i am looking for an immediate fix to my alcohol problem.. weekend is here, my biggest trigger time and i know this will pass. I feel so unmotivated tonite, you could give me a bag of money i would not even want to go and gamble! This is the kinda torture one has to go through to get to the other side. Who on earth wants to do this 'how many times?' i knew this was not going to be easy. Every time stopping it gets harder and harder and harder. The disease seems to worsen. You have to live it to tell it. So enough fussing right now. I'm feeling a bit better already! ... not really.. missed meeting today and i don't like going to Saturday hospital meetings.
The second dose of Topa makes me feel so weird and sleepy. I get forgetful and can't remember some things. I have vivid dreams when i sleep, my sleep could be better at nite.
I appreciate all the kind comments. I planned NOT to post yet about my recovery, yet i needed to release some fears right now. Day 6 and i am not a happy camper tonite like my normal self. I'll find me again.
Love Ripples.. :l
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