When i joined MWO i was sober 30+ days. I admitted myself to a 14 day rehab program prior, best life experience ever to learn about alcohol and how it ruins lives! My situation was driven by family not getting along, so i took the step to make change. I was deeply into MWO and stayed close to 8 months sober. I used every imagineable tool available, here, AA, meds, therapists, and just plain out abstained.. it worked!! i was getting stressed out though, i was thinking it was long enough, i can have some.. end of MAY...
One nite i had some.. 3 weeks later i did it again.. i was waiting 15-17 days, then it was turning into by the end of fall once a week. Jan.. 09 i finally hit the big 2 times a week event. Oh dear, this is getting out of control now. My family is screwed up still, never mind starting up using AL again to make matters worst..
I'm an instigator who is frequently not accepted at most forums as i am vocal and outspoken. To me it is fun, while others find it alarming. Therefore in order for me to be part of this community and part of my support community it is time to kick the habit before it kicks me to the curb. ... honesty is something i have no problem with.. part of recovery is first to be honest. .. so i am telling my story. ..
There is no need for me to GO BACK to a cycle of self-destruction when there is so much HELP right at my finger tips.. It may take a few times to buckle-me-down, i rather go through the suffering again to get to where i was before and learn from my mistakes, that giving in only starts the UGLYS all over again..
So i am going back to where i was --- SOBER --- taking it slow. I remember all the UPS & DOWNS and know tensions will pass. This time i will not stuff myself with sweet bad foods and be more careful. Time will heal me. I know it will .. I will further add about my progress -- GOOD or BAD. Its okay.
Love Rippy.. :thanks:
One nite i had some.. 3 weeks later i did it again.. i was waiting 15-17 days, then it was turning into by the end of fall once a week. Jan.. 09 i finally hit the big 2 times a week event. Oh dear, this is getting out of control now. My family is screwed up still, never mind starting up using AL again to make matters worst..
I'm an instigator who is frequently not accepted at most forums as i am vocal and outspoken. To me it is fun, while others find it alarming. Therefore in order for me to be part of this community and part of my support community it is time to kick the habit before it kicks me to the curb. ... honesty is something i have no problem with.. part of recovery is first to be honest. .. so i am telling my story. ..
There is no need for me to GO BACK to a cycle of self-destruction when there is so much HELP right at my finger tips.. It may take a few times to buckle-me-down, i rather go through the suffering again to get to where i was before and learn from my mistakes, that giving in only starts the UGLYS all over again..
So i am going back to where i was --- SOBER --- taking it slow. I remember all the UPS & DOWNS and know tensions will pass. This time i will not stuff myself with sweet bad foods and be more careful. Time will heal me. I know it will .. I will further add about my progress -- GOOD or BAD. Its okay.
Love Rippy.. :thanks:
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