story of a binge drinker

[shelley]

ive been posting on here for the last couple of days and it has really helped me. i feel the need to tell my story and get it off my chest

i'm 27 and have been drinking since the age of 15 it all started as it usually does getting adults to buy beer, stealing beer and raiding parents drinks cabinets. I felt like i could only enjoy a night out (or in) by getting as drunk as i possibly can, i will drink until i cant stand up anymore. over the years my friends around me have grown out of this sort of behaviour but i have not. I'm always the girl that everybody is talking about after a night out or a party, i'm always the most hammered and the one that completely humiliates myself i can see people cringing as its happening but i cant stop myself. recently ive started drinking a lot at home, now i know that to some people it may seem not that bad but i can easily drink 2 bottles of wine in a night... that scares me because two years ago it was one. what will it be in 10 years time if i carry on like this? will i survive that long? its very frightnening. i want to progress in my job and have a family of my own and have children one day.. at the moment i cant even look after myself let alone be responsible for a child.

over the years i have blacked out so many times and done awful things i cannot remember. i have been in fights, thrown out of bars/ pubs, arrested in the street, damaged peoples property for no reason and driven whilst off my head - its only through the grace of god that i have never hurt anybody. i only row with my boyfriend when i am drunk and i see how much it hurts him when i behave the way i do because he's so good to me. i have been to work still drunk from the night before. all my neighbours hate me because they hear me screaming and shouting - its so embarrasing when i see them in the street when i am sober - they dont talk to me anymore and i know what they're thinking. i would never behave the way i do when i am drunk when i am sober.

i drink most nights of the week usually about 4/5 nights. i panic all the time that the shop is shutting and theres not enough beer in the house for me to get wasted and end up running to the shop with five minutes to g obecause i just cant starnd the thought of not having another drink. my boyfreind got a bottle of whiskey on his birthday - i drank the lot even though i hate whiskey but i still forced it down. i hate myself for all this. my boyfriend filmed me after one of my binges - it was so frightening i couldnt remembe rany of it. i was behaving like a complete lunatic and was extremely aggressive... that is not me that is not how i want to behave. i do not like drunk shelley.

[aidanspappa]

story of a binge drinker

Hi Shelly,

I am/was a binge drinker too. I have a son who is 4 years old and it took him to make me stop. But that will only take you so far. Last night I realized who ever you start this for will never carry you through to the finish line, and AL knows it. Much like running through burning hoops in succession. The first one you can run through, get warm but that's it. The second one, your clothes might catch fire but you can put it out. The third hoop (or day in the case) causes you to shed a layer, but you are ok because you have more layers (or reasons in this case). When the clothes (reasons to stop drinking) run out, there is always that day's hoop...sitting there...taunting you to turn around and go back to drinking. This is when you find yourself....this is when you learn how to push forward with out any 'reasons' for protection. When you find yourself, nothing can stop you.

For me, when I was buck naked in front of yet another burning hoop number 27 (Day 27)...I went around it. This is my struggle, and I make the rules...Dammit

Wish I would have thought of that back on day one, I wouldn't be so cold.

[Ripple]

story of a binge drinker

Shelly, eventually something terrible is going to happen to you. I had to get arrested a couple of times (disorderly mess i was) to realise I really had a problem. Everything in life is out of control when we have an addiction to booze, i was way out of control, i have to work on myself every day. It is very hard on me right now. Rehab did wonders and i do not regret it all. If i have to go again, i will. Lock me up and throw the key away for a month next time. I refuse to go back to where i was 10/07.

You made a big step telling about your drinking. Take ownership of your life and seek help like so many of us have had to.

Love Ripple. :l

[Ryder]

story of a binge drinker

wow, pappa, that was extraordinary, especially your creed. thanks and good luck.
tom

[ylfa]

story of a binge drinker

I see that we have a same drinking pattern. I say I am the black out queen and you can read through my old post to see the hell I have been through as well. I understand you competle. I have been sober now for two months and the only thing that keeps me away from the bottle is that I frighten my self about how it was last time,,,and maybe next time I will not be so lucky to come home safe and alive from many ours of blackout and crazyness. We can talk also through private messesages if you want.
( sorry about my english I am foreigner)
Good luck and we can support each other

[cymru]

story of a binge drinker

I can relate alot. I am a binge drinker. I am 33 and in the last couple of years my drinking has got out of control. 3-4 day binges, morning, noon and night. Now is a good time to stop before its too late and you lose everything. PM me anytime you want to talk about it and good luck to you.

[narilly]

story of a binge drinker

Sometimes I think it is even harder to beat binge drinking that everyday drinking because I always end up saying "oh well, I don't drink everyday so I don't have a problem". This has been going on for me my whole life- since I was 13. (over 30 years) I had a bunch of people over for a dinner party on Sunday and fell down the stairs in front of all the kids (my kids and their friends) and my friends. Pretty embarrasing- I am so done with booze. This is only the second day but this time I have to do it. I feel like crap.
Binge drinking sucks. Good luck Shelly. Good luck everyone.

[newwife]

story of a binge drinker

I agree, day one for me. This time I am done for good. I finally told my husband the truth about my secret life with wine. I was really scared, he was great so loving, didn't judge me. I know with his help, and lots of hard work, I will be sober the rest of my life. It's not fun, all I do is waist time, money & my self respect. I've had it, whatever it takes.:new:
Thanks Gail

[Waiting for his way out]

story of a binge drinker

Hi Shelley, drinking is and will damage your life and the ones around you. My loving husband has had a problem with alcohol for so many years. I have seen him go from a few beers to two bottles of vodka a day. he is very sick and is trying desperately to get a hold of his life and health.
You are only 27, please don't let AL get the best of you.
Good luck

[Doggygirl]

story of a binge drinker

Shelley you are so wise to recognize your problem, and the need to stop NOW while you are still so young. All of us have a very bright future without alcohol in it - and you especially so with the possibility of children and family still before you. Don't let this addiction rob you of one more precious moment of your life!!

It is not easy to stop drinking alcohol, but it IS possible. If I can do it, you can do. There were so many others who did it before me - proving to me that I could do it too. There are many sober people all along the path here at My Way Out!

I highly recommend the My Way Out book, supplements, CD's, diet recommendations (especially no sugar and other highly processed carbohydrates) and EXERCISE!!! The power of endorphins to help us change our lifestyles and combat this addiction is imense.

Best wishes to you Shelley! You can do it.

DG

[mooderator]

story of a binge drinker

saturday binger

This post made me want to write.

I have this saturday night issue. Can go all week with no AL or perhaps have one/two drinks (all sensible) then on a saturday I think I have earned the right to have a binge. Sometimes they are not tll awful and will stop at one bottle of wine, other times and more frequently of late this is closer to two bottles resulting in a lost sunday with bad head and awful palpations, not to mention guilt and total paranoia regarding my liver health etc.

God itfeels good to spit it out, thanks for listening!

[klingsor]

story of a binge drinker

I have read your post, and I see I my reflection on your sayings. I too feel ashamed of those things, the going to the shop before it closes ( or even taking the car while drunk and going for more to wherever I could get some ), the agressive behaviour, one row with my missus and the neighbours hating me, the experience of feeeling that the amount of alcohol taken does only grow and grow.

That short of feelings made me look for help, and went to my general practitioner and asked him for some medication that could relieve my pain. >First time went on Revia. It worked, but I felt awful. Left it and had a reissue of my behaviour in just four weeks. Then tried to go on by myself for two years, and as it got worse, went again to my GP ( an 72 year old very comprehensive man ), and asked him again for help.

He prescribed me Campral, with wich I managed to stay 6 months healthy and moderated almost to total abstinence. Then I have failed again, but now I am trying to recover. Day four is today.

Dunno if this can help you. I am 32 yo, and I feel that my process has been very similar to yours.

Good luck.

klingsor

[sunshine09]

story of a binge drinker

hi shelly, im 27 and also started at 15... our story is almost identical..... far out i know exactly how you feel... good luck darling... we are in the same boat....

[Mermaid]

story of a binge drinker

This is my first post. I had what looks to be a blackout while out on a first date with someone. Had had dinner, and enjoyed each other's company so much that we went to a martini bar. I don't remember getting home, but evidently made a fool of myself in front of some friends who were there, couldn't direct him to my house (luckily he remembered), asked him to go buy condoms (eeeeeeeeeeeeek,,as I had no intention of having sex with him on the first date). Luckily, by the time he got back, I had tossed up and was back in the real world. I sent him home, somewhat angry that he hadn't been a gentleman (but I guess I asked). The next morning, he told me all the rest of it, and it appears we have no further plans to see each other. I'm embarrassed to tears, and have been ill from a hangover through Sunday and yesterday. Today I took a half a Naltrexon. I have them because I cut down before with the pills. The only problem is that they tear up my stomach. I'd love to talk to someone, as this frightened me.

[dove]

story of a binge drinker

Hey Shelly,
Me and you babe. Same problems and thoughts and almost same age.

Stick around.

Dove