My problem is binging. I can go all week and not drink, fairly easily. I can also drink within sensible parameters (one or two drinks) sucessfully quite often too. My problem is that I have somehow convinced myself that once a week, usually on a saturday night I can "let go" and have a treat. That applies to alcohol (wine, often sparkiling, sense of occasion) and to food (as have in last couple of years, lost couple of stone). So concequently, when the lid comes off it does it in style. I used to be content around one bottle of wine or just over, now it is edging ever closer to two.
I wake up on Sunday when I have hit the upper end of this amount with a stinking all day hangover which include the most dreadful palpatations, and the guilt, remorse and detrmination never to do it again are always there. Somewhere along the week that guilt must be forgotten or dissipated as I always do it again. Sometimes I can go 2 weeks without a drink. But it will only be the saturday night that I get irritated and stressed and crave alcohol.
Its odd right? The trouble in a way is that I have carried on for longer than I should as in someways I have self moderated, I used to drink more than this and much more often as a student and inmy early twenties ( now 33). I have alwasy been very aware about this issue and have tried many times to stop it.
Not sure what is best approach. I know we all have different patterns and levels of intake etc, but any tips very welcome. Any support very welcome. I am on day 2 AF. But then for me I would be on a monday, I will usually get to Friday and be 6 days AF most weeks, so it is SATURDAY that will be my little demon. I am trying to go AF for now, one saturday at a time.
I am also a big worrier about health and often convinced it is already too late for my liver! I have a couple of spider viens on my nose (Dad also has them and rarely drinks) but I am still worried. I have achieved so much in the last couple of years health wise. I have lost 2 stone and eat really well. I am now going to the gym 3-4 times a week and am really fit. I quit social smoking 18months ago. This is my last and worst demon. Why so hard, when I dont think I have a phyiscal addiction.
Also even before finding this site, I have hypno CD, big fan of these and recently started taking Milk Thistle and Kudzu, going to get L Gluamine after reading this site.
THANKS TO YOU ALL FOR YOUR WONDERFUL RAMBLINGS AND WRITINGS.....
Thanks for listening
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