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    Ready to stop this

    Hello everyone. I found this site about a month ago, and immediately ordered everything I could think of. My Dr. won't give me the Topa, so I am working on the sups and hypno for now. I just registered today on the site, though, and am hoping that I can find some of the friendships that I've witnessed on the mods boards and everywhere else in the community.

    My story goes like this... I was raised in a family that was very social about drinking, and alcoholism runs in my family. I met my husband 10 years ago, when we were 18. Immediately we clicked, and liked to party (tooo much). We married three years later when we were 21. It just seemed natural for us to always have beer in the house. Every night after work, pop one open and relax, and then another and another.... It was something we both enjoyed so much that it became our lifestyle. When we started trying for a family, I backed off. Got pregnant, didn't have any problems just quitting cold turkey. Had a miscarraige during my 2nd trimester, and went back to heavy drinking almost immediately, maybe to numb me up a bit. That continued for another year, then got pregnant again and quit drinking immediately. Now have a healthy 4 yr old boy. Also have another 19 month old boy, too. Just seems like as soon as I'm not pregnant anymore, I'm right back at it.

    I feel that my husband and I enable each other. He owns his own printing company, and is very stressed out. I used to work in the very stressfull mortgage industry. I think we were "medicating" ourselves so we could somehow cope with all the stress of work, and 2 small kiddos, not to mention finances and trying to sustain a marraige based on alcohol. I quit my job in June, to see if maybe that would help me stop drinking so much. It has helped, but I still accept that beer he hands me every evening when he walks in the door. I am hoping that I can just find myself, and try to live with more focus set on my kids and husband rather than how many beers I need to squeeze in just so I can get to sleep at night. I've made lots of new and exciting changes recently, and just hope that I can make myself give this thing up that could actually kill me one day if I don't. Scarey when I say it like that, but very true.

    Thanks for readin. Looking forward to this! :l

    #2
    Ready to stop this

    Hi Mountainmama,

    What a beautiful photo. Welcome aboard - I wish you the friendships that this board has afforded me while you make the BIGGEST new and exciting change of your life.

    I shall look forward to seeing you around.

    Tawny

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      #3
      Ready to stop this

      Hey Mountainmama,

      GOOD FOR YOU!!!

      I am much older than you but I "see" myself in your story.
      My hubby drinks a couple+ everyday also.

      I had my last child around 30. If I could go back and do anything different in my past, it would be that my children would never see me drinking or even tippsy. All three of my grown children know that I have a problem drinking moderately. If I had stopped years ago, I don't think I would have this problem. It creeps up over the years and grabs you by the butt when you get older .

      The cds and the Calm Forte help me sleep...taking a bath also helps along with a cup of sleepytime tea.

      Try and "be still" and listen to your breathing . Yoga is a good thing to try too!

      You hang in there , it can be done.....and when you're my age your boys will be grown and be so proud of their mama.

      :l Nancy
      "Be still and know that I am God"

      Psalm 46:10

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        #4
        Ready to stop this

        I agree - biggest regret is my kids seeing me drunk. "Tipsy" is just too polite in my case.

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          #5
          Ready to stop this

          Yes, those boys are my main reason for wanting to change. Especially when my son asks why do Mommys and Daddys always drink beer? I'm just terrified that I will some how screw them up, or that they will get hurt because mommy's too tipsy to pay attention. I read a post the other day, and she said that she couldn't believe she was admitting that she used to take the wine glass up to tuck the kids in. Well, I've done that too, a lot, and really am happy to have found a place where I can actually admit these things to my self. Its like you don't have to deal with it, until you make it a reality and put it in writing.

          Thanks for the replies, Tawny, Nancy & Tessa. I appreciate all your kind words.
          Mtnmama

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            #6
            Ready to stop this

            your story

            Your story sounds a bit like mine and boy is it hard to first break the habit of drinking nightly. Funny thing happened to me though--my hubby stopped drinking once we had kids--but I kept on going. Its when I tried to stop and realized I couldn't I knew I had a problem. The great thing about MWO is that we are all beginners at this. It is great to be able to relate to people who are going through what you are. We all have to find our path and what is right for us--and sometimes it takes many stumbles to figuire it out.

            Best of luck--welcome

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              #7
              Ready to stop this

              I am reading threads... The phone rings and it's my husband asking if I wanted him to bring home anything to drink.. I havent told him about this yet dont know if I am ready too because I know IF I have a drink he will be the one to say " I thought you didn't drink" So I am trying to go at this alone and with the support of the board. I was wondering though how others are handling this. When you have come to terms and your spouse hasn't? Like Mountainmama we met while we were partying so this will be a huge change.
              [FONT=VerdanaChoose to live by choice... not by chance[/FONT]

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                #8
                Ready to stop this

                Dear Sooo*over it,

                I understand completely. I did not tell my husband for about 7 weeks. He didn't even notice my abs time. When I told him was when he saw the tapes and kept asking. He has made some rude remarks a few times. He also immediately went out and bought 5 half gallon bottles of rum - my favorite not his. Yes, he is a partier and no he does not see that he is pulling the rug out from under me.

                If you can, try to do it on your own for a bit. Get yourself where you have had some abs days/weeks and remember they will or at least can respond to your new found sobriety by trying to put you in a situation where you will fail. (I believe it is because they then have to come to grips with their own addictions and they don't want changes in their life.) My hubby actually said, I would do anything to support you in this when he asked why I hadn't told him about it before, I also only go online at my office never at home, I do not want him to know when I am struggling with any of this.

                I wish you the best, you can do this. come post often. I think you know in your heart whether you will get support or remarks.

                Hugs,
                Mary

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                  #9
                  Ready to stop this

                  Hi. I too didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I just told my husband that I wanted to go on a major health overhaul that included a lot of diet supplements (which he could obviously see), and that part of the program was to pretty much stop drinking. He knows I saw my doctor, but has no idea that I'm taking Topamax, and discussed my drinking with her. He does know that I've lost 12lbs...that's obvious!!! I guess we all have to consider the personality of those we live with when considering how much to tell them about this. It may sound like I'm not being truthful, but I know that for us, this way works best. The less drama the better!

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                    #10
                    Ready to stop this

                    Men!

                    I feel sorry for those of you going through this with drinking husbands. I dumped mine about 14 years ago - went wild drinking for 3-4 years and then quit for 10 years. Menopause, financial problems, and work stress led me back to the devil. I'm hoping this helps, read the book, ordered the supps and cd's and topa. Hope to get started back to a life of abstinence in a week or two (when everything arrives). Until then I'm trying to moderate. Wish me luck!

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                      #11
                      Ready to stop this

                      The whole thread rings true for me. Isn't is good (and at the same time, very BAD) that we share this problem?

                      I have tried to explain this to my husband, and have finally concluded that I must do it by myself because he just doesn't understand. He's the type who can drink when he wants, and doesn't drink when he doesn't want to. Oh, to be that sort of person ... I will get back there someday.
                      Kathy
                      "I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning to sail my ship." ~ Louisa May Alcott

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                        #12
                        Ready to stop this

                        Hi

                        pokey wrote: The whole thread rings true for me. Isn't is good (and at the same time, very BAD) that we share this problem?

                        I have tried to explain this to my husband, and have finally concluded that I must do it by myself because he just doesn't understand. He's the type who can drink when he wants, and doesn't drink when he doesn't want to. Oh, to be that sort of person ... I will get back there someday.
                        Exactly, I couldn't have said it better. I must do it "MY Way" "By Myself" because he just doesn't understand. He can drink when he wants, what he ants and doesn't have to drink if he doesn't want to, period!!! LeeB

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                          #13
                          Ready to stop this

                          I am also going it alone not telling the hubby who doesn't drink but is a workaholic. Trying to moderate and doing very well so far with the help of everyone here.
                          "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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