Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I ended up here!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    I ended up here!

    I have been drinking for nearly 12 years, not that much, except the last three years. It really got out of hand. I'd drink until I'd pass out, and wont remember anything from the previous evening. I controlled it when I had to study or when I'd know my family would come over to visit. But otherwise, I'd just go ahead and "relax". It was about a week ago when I just cracked. I phoned my husband at work and told him he had to come home, I cannot cope anymore. He came home immediatly, we had a chat. He drink sometimes but he is very much under controll. He finally agreed to support me and put a stop to his social drinking until I'm feeling better and when I can handle the social scene alone without AL. Thank God for my husband and I am on my road to recovery, FINALLY!!!

    (I've been asking him for two years to please help me, he never though there was anything wrong. I realized he cannot help me, so I just joined in, and after two drinks my "problem" would just go away. I will enjoy the whole evening on as much drinks as I can.)

    I started drinking with friends back in school, it was just plain ol' fun, never got out of hand. Grew up in a stable home, no AL, smoking, nothing! I dated a guy who would drink constantly and so I just quit drinking. It was vulgar the way he drank. Then he left me, the first guy ever interested, just left me! I felt like if he cannot love me no one can. I started drinking again, and since then it just got worse. I met my husband while drinking. I was drinking like never before in my life and I believed it gave me personality. When I had nothing to do, I'd drink. We got married soon afterwards. Always celebrating something! When I found out I was pregnant, I put down the drinks with no problem whatsoever, twice. But afterwards, I'd just drink again after I thought I'll never touch the stuff again!!!

    I would wake up, still buzzing, tired and out of it. I would drive like that to work. I passed security, always praying and begging not to be caught out. Never once, was I cought out, but always followed the same path back. I got so tired of it. I hated feeling hungry, and no oily foods took away the empty stomach, or the nausea, the headache's or the guilt. Nothing really works, except for quitting.

    I've hit rock bottom, cannot and will not live like this anymore! I will use the support I receive from my hubby now, and I will do this for myself! I deserve feeling better and will change my mindset about myself. Have to go forward and become stronger. I have been sober for five days and still going strong. this is the longest I've been sober in three years. So I am winning although I do FEEL LIKE A TOTAL LOSER for letting it get to this point!!!!!:upset:

    Thanks for reading, if it sounds a bit confusing, english is my second language! Hope to hear from someone, who'll understand, not judge and just get me out of this mud-hole I, me alone, have put myself in.

    Take care of yourself, we only have one life, lets use it for good things, not bad addictions!!! :l

    :new:

    #2
    I ended up here!

    Welcome Green bean. I luv green beans by the way So glad you found us and so glad your hubby is helping. My hubby drinks as much as me and we enable each other so I know how hard it is.

    Stick around, read a lot, if you get tempted post u want to chat and somebody will come along.
    :welcome::l

    Comment


      #3
      I ended up here!

      Thx Hart, appreciated. Going great. Had a tough day, feel tired, a few days ago, when I felt like this, I probs would have had a drink, but the gr8 thing is, really dont feel like it! That is awesome. Hope you're doing well!

      Comment


        #4
        I ended up here!

        :hello2::colorwelcome::wave::groupluv:
        :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
        best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

        Comment


          #5
          I ended up here!

          :welcome::new:Green Bean - Hang strong...I came to the same conclusion about 6 months ago and finally decided to do something about it yesterday (10 years of drinking until it put me to sleep)! This is proving quite challenging as I'm only 1 day into it, but I WILL NOT STOP my pursuit of freedom from alcohol and I have faith that you won't either. I just think of the stupid things I've done, the fights I've had, the graduate degree I failed at because studying came during my drinking hours, etc. What better time and place than now to make this right is my philosophy. You'll find your way out of that mud hole...good luck, keep the faith and know you are not alone.

          Comment


            #6
            I ended up here!

            last ten years can you talk right now?

            Comment


              #7
              I ended up here!

              sure...how are you doing?

              Comment


                #8
                I ended up here!

                not well, i feel like I've screwed up the past 12 years and still going down hill. I just need someone to hear me out, have not had that ever. just dont know where to really start and where to end. I' ve ne ver ever had a "chat" ever dumb little me

                Comment


                  #9
                  I ended up here!

                  I don't know this system at all as I just started my "journey" 24 hours ago...do you know of a way to chat? I would like to hear you out as I could use a chat myself...

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I ended up here!

                    last10 years, how are you doing? I feel much better today. It's been nearly two weeks sober for me! Yeah, I'm really starting to feel better. I'm so glad you joined in. Hang in there. How's things going? I dont know of a way to chat, being new as well, but keep up mailing, sure that'll help both of us.

                    Take care, hope things are well and stay strong, when we beat this, we'll sure feel gr8 about that as well as about ourselves. We deserve that!!!!

                    Have a lovely day!!

                    Comment

                    Working...
                    X