I have been drinking for nearly 12 years, not that much, except the last three years. It really got out of hand. I'd drink until I'd pass out, and wont remember anything from the previous evening. I controlled it when I had to study or when I'd know my family would come over to visit. But otherwise, I'd just go ahead and "relax". It was about a week ago when I just cracked. I phoned my husband at work and told him he had to come home, I cannot cope anymore. He came home immediatly, we had a chat. He drink sometimes but he is very much under controll. He finally agreed to support me and put a stop to his social drinking until I'm feeling better and when I can handle the social scene alone without AL. Thank God for my husband and I am on my road to recovery, FINALLY!!!
(I've been asking him for two years to please help me, he never though there was anything wrong. I realized he cannot help me, so I just joined in, and after two drinks my "problem" would just go away. I will enjoy the whole evening on as much drinks as I can.)
I started drinking with friends back in school, it was just plain ol' fun, never got out of hand. Grew up in a stable home, no AL, smoking, nothing! I dated a guy who would drink constantly and so I just quit drinking. It was vulgar the way he drank. Then he left me, the first guy ever interested, just left me! I felt like if he cannot love me no one can. I started drinking again, and since then it just got worse. I met my husband while drinking. I was drinking like never before in my life and I believed it gave me personality. When I had nothing to do, I'd drink. We got married soon afterwards. Always celebrating something! When I found out I was pregnant, I put down the drinks with no problem whatsoever, twice. But afterwards, I'd just drink again after I thought I'll never touch the stuff again!!!
I would wake up, still buzzing, tired and out of it. I would drive like that to work. I passed security, always praying and begging not to be caught out. Never once, was I cought out, but always followed the same path back. I got so tired of it. I hated feeling hungry, and no oily foods took away the empty stomach, or the nausea, the headache's or the guilt. Nothing really works, except for quitting.
I've hit rock bottom, cannot and will not live like this anymore! I will use the support I receive from my hubby now, and I will do this for myself! I deserve feeling better and will change my mindset about myself. Have to go forward and become stronger. I have been sober for five days and still going strong. this is the longest I've been sober in three years. So I am winning although I do FEEL LIKE A TOTAL LOSER for letting it get to this point!!!!!:upset:
Thanks for reading, if it sounds a bit confusing, english is my second language! Hope to hear from someone, who'll understand, not judge and just get me out of this mud-hole I, me alone, have put myself in.
Take care of yourself, we only have one life, lets use it for good things, not bad addictions!!! :l
:new:
(I've been asking him for two years to please help me, he never though there was anything wrong. I realized he cannot help me, so I just joined in, and after two drinks my "problem" would just go away. I will enjoy the whole evening on as much drinks as I can.)
I started drinking with friends back in school, it was just plain ol' fun, never got out of hand. Grew up in a stable home, no AL, smoking, nothing! I dated a guy who would drink constantly and so I just quit drinking. It was vulgar the way he drank. Then he left me, the first guy ever interested, just left me! I felt like if he cannot love me no one can. I started drinking again, and since then it just got worse. I met my husband while drinking. I was drinking like never before in my life and I believed it gave me personality. When I had nothing to do, I'd drink. We got married soon afterwards. Always celebrating something! When I found out I was pregnant, I put down the drinks with no problem whatsoever, twice. But afterwards, I'd just drink again after I thought I'll never touch the stuff again!!!
I would wake up, still buzzing, tired and out of it. I would drive like that to work. I passed security, always praying and begging not to be caught out. Never once, was I cought out, but always followed the same path back. I got so tired of it. I hated feeling hungry, and no oily foods took away the empty stomach, or the nausea, the headache's or the guilt. Nothing really works, except for quitting.
I've hit rock bottom, cannot and will not live like this anymore! I will use the support I receive from my hubby now, and I will do this for myself! I deserve feeling better and will change my mindset about myself. Have to go forward and become stronger. I have been sober for five days and still going strong. this is the longest I've been sober in three years. So I am winning although I do FEEL LIKE A TOTAL LOSER for letting it get to this point!!!!!:upset:
Thanks for reading, if it sounds a bit confusing, english is my second language! Hope to hear from someone, who'll understand, not judge and just get me out of this mud-hole I, me alone, have put myself in.
Take care of yourself, we only have one life, lets use it for good things, not bad addictions!!! :l
:new:
So glad you found us and so glad your hubby is helping. My hubby drinks as much as me and we enable each other so I know how hard it is.
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