I want a better life

[Juley]

Things have been getting progressively worse. I've upped my drinking consistently and it was already bad. I buy two bottles of wine, in case I 'run out' too early in the evening. And the most shameful part, while I thought it was once hidden, it's not any more or maybe never was.
This week I got an email from a friend of mine the day after I called her with another drunken phonecall. She begged me to get help and to stop drinking alone at home. She's 3 months pregnant and the fact she took time out to point out to me that I'm a wonderful person but I'm destroying myself. It made me cry so much. That evening I drove past the store and drank water for the night, easier to do considering my head was still pounding from the previous evening. Following evening though, I fell off the wagon again. convincing myself it was okay if I kept my phone hidden. The logic being, nobody else would know.. just me. I read her email again the following day and realised she wasn't asking me to help her or anybody else, she was asking me to help myself. And it's only myself I'm fooling. Yesterday was AF. I'm hoping today can be too and hope I can break the terrible pattern I created in my life. The alcohol has held me back so much. I break appointments due to either choosing to drink at home or because I'm too hungover to make them. I'm gradually losing every friend I ever had, they're fed up of the drunken calls and I've become bad company. I want a new life, I want a better life. I'm capable of so much better before it's too late.

[Seacailin]

I want a better life

Juley
I am sooo happy to see you back. I think about you often. Let me know if I can be of help.:l

[Juley]

I want a better life

Thanks SC

I'm hoping this time I'm back for the longterm and can stay strong. I'm going to take one second at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time and hopefully I'll eventually move onto days, weeks, months and years.

[Seacailin]

I want a better life

My Sis is taking me to her Holistic Doc. I have alot of faith in him. He has helped my Sis and my Dad. I have heard that auricle accupunture can help with addiction. Hell, I'll try anything. What's a few needles. I got 6 tatooes.lol

[noodle]

I want a better life

Hi Juley - know exactly where you are coming from and in pretty much the same situation. I don't know where to do go or what the f*** to do either - I've decided enough is enough and plan to stop all together - my heads in bits!! There are lovely people here - like no where else I've seen - i reckon with their support we could do this. Love Noodle. X Will let you know how its goin - same? X

[last10years]

I want a better life

Juley and Noodle - I was in a gutter, so to speak. On day 4 now and feel great. Stay on site, ask questions, raise concerns...there always seems to be somebody available to help you out. If you make the choice to move forward, this is the place for good support. Stay strong! LT

[cymru]

I want a better life

Are you still with us Juley?
Cy

[Lavande]

I want a better life

Hi Juley,

I just want you to know that quitting is absolutely doable once you make a firm commitment to do so!!

I was in your exact place exactly 1 month ago. I had alienated friends, relatives and even my adult daughter with drunken phone calls and emails. When I found I could no longer deal with the guilt and shame I made my choice to quit, forever.

What you do and how you do it is entirely up to you. We all have the same problem, alcohol abuse, but there is no one way to fix it. You know yourself better than anyone. Search your heart and decide what is going to work for you. Some people are comfortable with AA or other group meetings, personal counselors, etc. Make a plan that is right for you, something you can stick with and just go for it!

I needed to do this on my my own, I'm not really into group activities of any sort. I found I needed to address my anxiety/depression first. I dumped the prescription antidepressant I had been on because it wasn't working (obviously) and substituted a good herbal supplement called Amoryn. It did wonders for me. Once I was feeling better and thinking clearer I was able to sit down and formulate a workable plan
to quit drinking. I spent about a month reducing my daily wine intake, got comfortable with that then took the plunge to give it up altogether. So glad I did - Thursday this week will be 30 AF days for me - couldn't be happier

I no longer wake up feeling guilty or ashamed wondering who I may have offended the night before. That, in itself is a wonderful feeling, something that hasn't been possible for the past 10 years. I feel great physically, emotionally balanced and am looking forward to a totally sober future. I have accepted that I just cannot drink.

You can do this too, you deserve it! Please take some time to get to know yourself and determine what learning style is best for you. One size does not fit all. I found great comfort by doing a lot of reading, working on a behavior modification program on my own, joining MWO for fabulous support, using the Hypnotherapy CD's and some basic prayer.

I hope this helps.
Best wishes,

Lavande

[emily]

I want a better life

Hi to all

I've not posted on her for months. This site saved my life, some kind person posted something and I took their advice and I have never looked back.

I read Allen Carr's book 'The Easy Way to stop Drinking'.

I have not drank in over a year and I don't spend my time counting how many days it has been since I last drank. I can be in the company of people that are drinking alcohol and I don't even notice.

It has changed my life. I now have a very successful business that I know, for a fact, I would not have if I still was a slave to this awful, awful substance.

The book changes your perspective. After hypno, supplements AF periods not to mention a heap load of shame, guilt and denial that things were as bad as they were I felt trapped and weak.

He calls alcohol 'devastation' in the book and he's right. When I see what's happening in the UK now to our young folk because it is so socially acceptable to be pissed out of your head and all the horror that that brings. When I read the posts on this site. When you see friends that are so envious that you've stopped they can't bring themselves to be in your company any more. Yes, devastation in the right word. It helps to lift the mist and lets you see the devil. Honestly, this is what I feel.

Please read this book. It changed my life. It may change yours.

[Seacailin]

I want a better life

That is sooo good to hear Emily I need a bit of hope right now and my daugther's name is Emylee so u must be a beautiful person and so worthy of a happy life

[Blue Sky]

I want a better life

Yes it's a good book. I will dig it out and re-read it, last time I read it it was useful but I wasn't mentally ready to accept that I could never drink again. I think now that I might be??!!

I quit smoking over 10 years ago using his book "Easy way to stop smoking". It's brilliant, I didn't need any medication or patches or any other gimmicks. Just read the book twice and stopped.

[amad]

I want a better life

New to this

Hi- I just read some of your posts. They sound just like me. Wine till there is no more or I pass out and the drunken phone calls. I wasn't that bad everynight but lots of time. I am on my 5th day of no alchohol. I feel okay slight headache and sometimes tired, but no desire to drink. How long does that last? Right now I feel like I will never want another drink but I know the time will come. What's the best defense? My mother has drug and alcohol problems I keep picturing her and telling myself I don't ever want to be that bad. That might be enough and lucky for me drugs was never an issue, very ani-drug. I am taking 1 and only 1 ibuprofen at night to help with the headache and that's it. I see my eyes looking better already and can think clearer. My emotions can sometimes change pretty fast and keep telling myself to breath and relax it's normal. I just don't ever want to be out of control again. Any natural ideas, diet etc.? Thanks

[irish eyes]

I want a better life

[QUOTE=amad;597690]Hi- . I feel okay slight headache and sometimes tired, but no desire to drink. How long does that last? Right now I feel like I will never want another drink but I know the time will come. What's the best defense? ]

Welcome Amad
You have made a great start 5 days way to go well done! People differ on how they feel, some people have terrible cravings and others not so many. I think I was like you very few cravings except perhaps on a Friday or Sat. For me and I can only speak for me when I am feeling vulnerable or craving I stay on the board here. There is toolbox thread I dont know how to bump it up, no doubt someone will see this and do so, some great advice there.