6 months sober - here's my story!

[kuya]

6 months sober - here's my story!

I feel so inspired by this story. I am newly returned after 8 months of on off drinking following a 9 week sober patch after 22 years of drinking. Your story so mirrors my own that it made me cry. I thank you for the time you took and hope I can be where you are in 6 months time

Thank you Sausage

[SAUSAGE]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Update at 7 months!

Hello again everyone

Well I've passed the 7 month marker, and I suppose the fact that I got past the 24th of the month without even thinking "oh I've clocked up another month" can only be viewed as a positive thing. ( I remember in the early days I'd be constantly thinking; how many days until I can update my signature and say I've done another month etc etc).

So what has changed....

Well I am well out of the routine of drinking in the home at night, even when Mr Sausage has a drink - it doesn't bother me and I love the fact that I feel "fresher and alert" until bed time and can achieve more.

Mr Sausage seems to have given up trying to pursuade me to join him and now buys me non alcoholic soft drinks when he does the shopping or if we've got friends round and he's planning on drinking with them.

I am quite happy to have friends round or socialise out with others drinkers and me on soft drinks. I enjoy being totally in charge of my own actions and alert and totally following and remembering the conversation and don't envy them starting to slurr their words, knock drinks over because they get tipsy, watch the dehydration process start as they have to keep going to the bathroom etc. I also don't envy their hangovers in the morning either!

I absolutely hate the smell of (stale) alcohol - makes me feel queasy. I am hypersensitive to detecting it - on people's breathe if they've been drinking, or even from a couple of meters away from Mr Sausage's empty bottles crate - (waiting to go to the recycling bank) or when im out in the fresh air and I walk past a bar etc.

I am sleeping better - my sleeping has never been great but I no longer wake after a couple of hours with a mouth like a desert, feeling full of anxiety, nausea and regret. Why would I want to put something in my body that only a couple of hours later will make me feel like this?

My thyroxine is starting to kick in now and I have so much more energy and am back running at least twice (sometimes 3 x ) a week as well as a couple of swims.

So is all well, am I confident / complacent. Is it all "sorted"?

No... As a former alcohol addict or whatever term you want to use ( it's academic, it doesn't matter.... the facts were, over years I was addicted to drinking alcohol every day) I can never be complacent.....past experiences have shown me with one sip, I can throw all this away and go back to daily drinking again.

Im also not far off approaching 8.5 months, the point where I failed last time. I am noticing that because alcohol now is not figuring prominently in my mind, I am drifting away from regular posting here and I must make sure this doesn't happen. This site keeps me grounded, newbies stories remind me of the horrors of where ive come from too etc.

So no, although i can safely say I no longer envy normal drinkers around me ( I'm starting to sound like Jason Vale and Allan Carr now!), there is one situation where I still think it would be nice to drink and that is on holiday / vacation, don't ask me why but this is when I think it would be nice to have wine in the sun.... I was reading the other day about someone looking forward to going away to the Carribean and drinking wine in the sun.... And I remember my holiday in Barbados in 2003, before kids, before my drinking accelerated and I remember alcohol fondly as an enjoyable part of the trip. Reading about other people drinking seems to be a trigger for me and i start to fantasise and see things with rose tinted glasses, so this is an area I have to be alert to and work on.

I don't really want to count days any more, to be honest most of the time i haven't a clue what numbered day im on now? Instead I prefer to see this as a new healthy lifestyle choice rather than notching up day after day, however I will keep a tag on numbers and things until I get past the infamous 8.5 month failure mark. Then I will stop. I hope this makes sense to people.

So once again, I want to thank all the people who continue to motivate and inspire me here and to those of you out there reading this, wishing you too can get of this terrible hamster wheel, yes it can be done, but like everything worth having, it takes effort, but the reward is more than worth it.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Nice post Sausage, great going on your 7+ months. I reckon the holiday thoughts are just association and rose coloured specs, as you say. I think we all know the reality of where that can lead. Fully understand the not counting days after you fly through the 8.5 barrier, it can become counter productive with some people, me included.

[Kaslo]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Congratulations, Sausage! I enjoyed reading your post, and have to say I have noticed the same things. I understand your holiday fantasy completely. I think you have had a few caravan hols, since quitting for good, right? A holiday in the sun belt is different though. I think I would feel the same, but because No Rest For The Wicked is the order of the day around here, I dont even need to start thinking. I think at some point, thinking about it is about as far as it gets, and after a while, even thinking about it doesnt happen all that much.

I am really glad to see Mr. Sausage has given up. My Mr Kaslo has as well. I think he finally gets it. At long last. And the smell, blech!

Good for you, Saucy. Keep it up.

kas

[LibraryGirl]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Hi Sausage. I want to congratulate you on a superb run of sobriety. You and I started at the same time approximately, if not the same day (February). As you know, I took a different path. I am still on this journey and I still come here for support, although I am modding. I have admired your steadfastness and also your spirit and humbleness. I wish you well my friend, and I know you will continue to thrive on your journey.

[Janice]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Looking forward to your next update Sausage...coming soon??? xx

[SAUSAGE]

6 months sober - here's my story!

9 month update

Hello again

An update on here is long overdue so I suppose I'd better get typing!

I had been writing monthly on this thread, but at the 8 month mark I was struggling psychologically quite a bit ( I was close to the point at 8.5 months where I gave up last time, and now I think I understand why) and I almost felt like it was tempting fate to write on here plus I didn't really know what I wanted to say! Around this time I started to fantasise about how wonderful it would be to be a "normal" very moderate drinker. Some of you may remember or even want to search (amongst threads I've started) the thread I began about this and I found the responses I got from everyone really helpful. I used to envy other people (especially normal drinkers) see their lives a perfect, but no one knows what inner problems / turmoils they are going through. Another thing MWO has taught me, when people open up on here about their past drinking lives, is how good people are at putting on a front when really they are going though an inner turmoil of hiding their drinking hell.

I've now passed the 8.5 month mark but to be honest I try not to count the number of days or even months now. I know its been debated frequently on here, the benefits of counting v not counting days. I've thought long and hard about this and have come to the conclusion that although for me in the early days counting is very motivating, after a significant length of time it is not helpful to me. It's almost as though I'm putting my life on hold, counting every day I pass in anticipation if something......what exactly? And with this mindset I am set up for eventual inevitable failure. I feel I should be looking at things differently now, developing a healthy mindset on living the best life I can, both health wise and in what I achieve. Instead of counting days past I prefer to look forward as seeing my future as an empty blank book with endless opportunities to create my story. Devoting myself to alcohol and depending on it daily will not help me create my story - well not a good one anyway! It is only since stopping drinking, and after many months of AF time that I began to see things more clearly and articulate my thoughts better, particularly with what I want out of life.

Christmas is fast approaching and I do feel a little anxious about this. Interestingly I'm quite organised this year ( I have more time on my hands now!) have wrapped all the presents I need to mail and written most of my cards. Normally in past years it would all be fairly last minute and I would work my way through a bottle of wine whilst doing it, but this year I didn't and didn't feel remotely tempted and I had so much more energy and felt better for not doing so!

I will write again and update this thread when inspiration strikes and I feel I have more to add / more thoughts on this process / journey although I can't say it will be in exactly 1 month, maybe sooner, maybe not, I don't know. But I'm looking forward to the future.

Thank you again everyone for your continued support and great comments on here, they mean such a lot.

[kuya]

6 months sober - here's my story!

So glad to hear you got through that eight month panic and are now cruising on with life.

Like you I am apprehensive about Xmas .....ironically I was sober all last Xmas then fell just after ....... But I know why so should be OK

Have a great Xmas BTW

[ThreeDogNight]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Sausage, you have been an inspiration, and one big reason why I have come back to MWO!

[Janice]

6 months sober - here's my story!

It's almost as though I'm putting my life on hold, counting every day I pass in anticipation if something......what exactly? And with this mindset I am set up for eventual inevitable failure. I feel I should be looking at things differently now, developing a healthy mindset on living the best life I can, both health wise and in what I achieve. Instead of counting days past I prefer to look forward as seeing my future as an empty blank book with endless opportunities to create my story. Devoting myself to alcohol and depending on it daily will not help me create my story - well not a good one anyway!

Sausage, what you say above is so very true. I couldnt agree more - not counting days has definitely worked for me. If you're counting days you're thinking about alcohol. If you're thinking abt alcohol you're on dodgy ground! When you stop counting days only then do you start to feel free.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I so look forward to your story updates & posts on Janet's 30 day thread because you're one of the people on here whose words always inspire me and I'm sure we'll both be "popping in" to MWO over the Christmas period to prop each other up!! Well, not "prop each other up" like we would have needed last year lol..."encourage" is what I shld have said!

love to you & your family this Christmas....hope its the best ever! xx

[scottish lass]

6 months sober - here's my story!

SAUSAGE;1418659 wrote: Hello again

But I'm looking forward to the future.

Sausage - love this line - that is why I am here and continue to try to make it stick, looking forward to the future is a huge gift to us - I know I have spent too much time fearing the future long term. Thank you for posting, love seeing you on the 30 day . Thank you for being such an inspiration!

[Mick]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Sausage...good to read....and def well done to reach where you are now..an inspiration

[nurdl]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Thanks Sausage. It's really helpful to read the back stories of people here on MWO. You have accomplished an amazing thing and you are an inspiration.
~nurdl

[199days]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Thanks for sharing.

Iam never going back, ever.

[mollyka]

6 months sober - here's my story!

I found this thread really interesting to read back on today - thanks Sausage:l
There are quite a few with anxieties about Christmas looming. I think that we need to support eachother, and realise that we AREN'T the only ones in the whole world not raising that stupid glass of bubbly or mulled wine or whatever other muck we drink on that day and that day only and think it's lovely I've done plenty of sober christmas's but not so many sober Januarys - riddle me that one
Re. the counting days - like 199, I too count my time until my year anniversary - it is something I've accomplished - and I'm very proud of. There's no sneaky hidden 'slip' or 'relapse' in there, it's pure continuous unadulterated sober time - and it makes me feel good. After the year - that's gone, I'll move along into long(er)-term sobriety. That's just me tho - WHATEVER works for you is right - as long as it's not booze
Molly