6 months sober - here's my story!

[SAUSAGE]

THIS STORY HAS BEEN UPDATED AFTER I STARTED DRINKING AGAIN AFTER 8.5 MONTHS - SEE POST #32 WHAT WENT WRONG?

In 3 hours time it will be 6 months since I had my last alcoholic drink. I joined MWO in September 08 but I always said I wouldn't post "my story" until I had achieved at least 6 months sobriety - so here I go!!

I grew up exposed to small amounts of alcohol - my parents were not completely tee total but they drank about 14units of alcohol a year! - mostly when entertaining etc. However for some reason my mum believed that if you were given alcohol as a child it would stop it becoming "forbidden fruit" and reduce the risk of you becoming an alcholic! From very early childhood I can recall being given sips of sherry from the bottom of the glass (which I hated but I drank because I thought it looked clever) very watered down glasses of wine etc. It really made no impression of me whatsoever and I reached adulthood with a very much "take it or leave it" kind of attitude to alchohol.


I'm posting this in a series of sections as I'm scared of typing out masses and then finding my computer crashes or it won't let me start a new thread etc - so apologies for the break, next installment to follow shortly ......

[SAUSAGE]

6 months sober - here's my story!

I had a real struggle to get into university to make the entrance requirements for my chosen profession - which is very competitive. I was told by my school that I wasn't academically able, and I had 2 attempts at doing my Alevels (UK school leaving exams) but still failed to make the correct grades, and then had to do a 3 year science degree in order to be accepted. I received 15 university rejections before finally being accepted at the age of 23 for a course which you would normally begin at aged 18 years. During this time,through all the dissappointments, I studied hard, took all sorts of poorly paid work to support myself but I never really succumbed to alcohol. I don't even remeber if I even had a drink to celebrate the day I finally got an unconditional offer into uni.? - that was how unimportant alcohol was for me.

My student days were certainly not filled with alcohol - yes I did drink, fri nights and saturday nights, like many students, but certainly not to excess, I was at a London teaching hospital surrounded by hard core drinkers but throughout my 5 years I was certainly one of the "lighter" drinkers on the course. I only ever drank at social events or with others, never alone.

I am a high achieving perfectionist personality type and a real worrier - whether this contributes to my later problem , I dont' know. My father died after a short illness, just days after I qualified and this made a huge impact on me, and sent me into depression at what should have been a very happy time for me.

[SAUSAGE]

6 months sober - here's my story!

I joined the armed forces, still very depressed over my father's death and found basic training tough because of this difficult period of my life. During this time and after I started work, my drinking crept up and i started to rely on a glass of wine in the evenings - sometimes 2 ! to relax at the end of a day, and I would look forward to it. The forces are also known for drinking as well as my chosen profession.

It was around this time I met my husband - Mr Sausage - he enjoyed a drink or two - a real wine fanatic (many of you will know that i've mentioned on here before that he has over 200 bottles of wine currently stored in our garage!) and after our marriage we started to get into a habit of having a drink every evening. I was probably at the upper end of healthy levels by now, but still not drinking to excess.

I became pregnant with my first child 2 years after our wedding, and instantly stopped drinking - because I felt so ill - had a terrible nauseus pregnancy and no desire to drink whatsoever. After my daughter was born I did drink a little but again not to excess because I was breastfeeding.

My second child was conceived only a few months after my first was born, and I again quit alcohol straight away because once again I could not stand the taste of alcohol and felt so rough whilst pregnant. I breast fed my second child for almost a year - but did not drink heavily whilst doing so - it was when I stopped that my levels suddenley shot up and I believed I had a real problem...there was no excuse not to drink, not pregnant, not breastfeeding, I was also exhausted from the demands of 2 very young children - and I had returned to work part time. I was diagnosed with postnatal depression when my son was almost a year old, around the time my drinking crept up. I was put on anti-depressants, but still I continued drinking....

[SAUSAGE]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Over a few weeks / months 2 glasses of wine a night became 3, then 4, then - well I might as well finish the bottle - sometimes I'd start a 2nd bottle - it was around then that I knew I had a problem but I chose to deal with it later. I had to drink every evening, I looked forward to it all day, it was the only way I could cope, I couldn't imagine not drinking. However I must point out I never ever drove under influence and I don't believe it ever affected my work - the drinks were over several hours, with lots of water, and incredibly I didn't feel that bad in the morning, just gained about 28lbs in weight.

I was still depressed, then I learned I needed a hysterectomy which I went through and was very emotional about as in some ways I would have liked a 3rd child although I did count my blessings that I was lucky to have 2 healthy children. I had abandoned all exercise after my children (through depression and lack of child care) - I did a lot of sport before my kids were born and was a keen runner, having completed several marathons.

I just let mysef go really and was going down and down the spiral, down the slippery slope to alcoholism......

[SAUSAGE]

6 months sober - here's my story!

In Jan 08 I had reached the point where
1) I knew I had a problem
2) I was ready to do something about it

I tried abstaining, it was tough, I hung on in there by sheer willpower managed 108 days before falling back into my old ways days after believing I could "moderate" - WRONG!!

The few people whom I confided in, were bemused more than anything - no-one thought I had a drink problem because I barely drank in public, just home alone.

After my relapse after 108 days in May last year, I became very demoralised, no-one was supporting me, no-one thought I had a problem - yet I knew I had, my husband continued to drink daily around me, the house and garage was full of wine. I'd have liked to try AA but getting out to meetings in the evening with small children was difficult plus I didn't want to go anywhere local because I was known as a health care professional in my own area!

[SAUSAGE]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Between May and September 08 I had several half hearted attempts at quitting but could barely string more than a few days together, then googling on the internet one day, desperate for any help, I discovered MWO and started to read about the program and visit the forums...

September 1st 08 I resolved to quit again, it was a Monday, start of a new month and my daughter was starting school and I didn't want to be an alcoholic / hungover mother hanging around the school gates. I joined MWO on Sept 2nd 08.

Those of you confident around the forums, can search my early posts and threads from this period if you are intrested, it was a tough struggle but the support of everyone on here was incredible and day by day I was stringing AF days together. I found so much wisdom and support on here and learned so much about my problem and alcholism in general - and learned so much from other's struggles too - suddenley I was no longer alone - i had MWO friends from all over the world, out there 24/7 to support me....

[SAUSAGE]

6 months sober - here's my story!

If it hadn't been for a holiday end of Oct 08 which I approached with the wrong attitude (and relapsed - just whilst away) I would be approaching my 9 month sobriety anniversary by now - but the good thing about MWO was straight after my holiday, I came back on here, confessed, found support straight away and was straight back on that waggon again on 3rd Nov 08 - and here i am now.

Yes it's been tough - I had a few really wobbly periods, including a few days ago when I very nearly caved, but the minute things get tough, I turn to MWO and someone picks me up and sets me firmly back on that sobriety road again - so I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, I wouldn't have done it without MWO.

So what have I achieved over the last 6 months - well here's a small list;

I have been sober for 6 months
I have lost 26lbs in weight - I can fit into my wedding dress, and clothes I wore in my 20's
I am no longer on antidepressants.
I have more time for my family and am more patient with them
I feel so much better, so much more energy, better skin - everyone compliments me on how well I look
I am exercising again, running, swimming, the gym, it feels so good and I want to get really fit and do one more marathon one day.
I am no longer wasting my evenings in a drunken stupor in front of the TV, unable to recall what I watched anyway, - I have new hobbies and interests and have taken up old ones again.
I've made new on line friends, with the same common goal as me
MWO has taught me to build a new life for myself that doesnt' have room for alcohol

It's not easy - I still struggle, I still rely on people here, I am very aware, I'm only one drink away from relapse - and i've learned of many people who've relapsed after months, years of sobriety so I know I can never be complacent.

I believe I stopped drinking just in time, and I want to thank everyone here for all their support as I continue on my journey.

[lushy]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Bravo!!!! :goodjob:

Be very proud of yourself. And if you ever feel like having a drink again refer back to your list of positives. Very inspiring indeed.

[Sheepish]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Wow Sausage- that is a terrific accomplishment. Thank you for writing it down for us- very inspiring. And also- a lot of work. But you did it. Great job!
-Sheep

[tlrgs]

6 months sober - here's my story!

thank you for sharing be very proud.. awesome job

[Seacailin]

6 months sober - here's my story!

:wd: Fantastic Sausage!!!!
You are an Inspiration!!!:rockon:

[OverIt2007]

6 months sober - here's my story!

So happy for you Sausage.

[startingover]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Sausage, what an incredible story. You must be very proud of yourself.
Well you should be!!

[Doggygirl]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Sausage I am so glad you shared your story, and...of course....


:yougo::yougo:CONGRATULATIONS ON SIX MONTHS SOBER!!:yougo::yougo:


I am so proud of you for hanging in there through thick and thin and espcially not caving in over these last few days. Your list of accomplishments is terrific, and my $$ is on YOU that you will be running one more marathon or 10!

So many people who are not alcoholic drinkers don't understand that one can have a severe alcohol problem even though they are not living under a bridge and pooping on themselves. It is so wonderful to have MWO where we share honestly with others who understand the nature of our problem, and who let us know each day that we are not alone. Your thread is a wonderful reminder to me of all these things, and I know your words will touch many who visit here whether they end up posting or not.

You ROCK Sausage!!!! Congratulations again and thank you for sharing your journey.

DG

[Guitarista]

6 months sober - here's my story!

Keep going Snag's!