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    Short Overview

    I've touched on some details in past posts. My story starts young. My parents divorced when I was young. My mom remarried and I was sexually, physically and emotionally abused by my alcoholic step father until I left home at age 18. By then, I was drinking and doing drugs to escape the reality of my life. Luckily, I survived into my 20's. I married at 23. This was about the same time my real father reappeared in my life. I did not even know he was alive. My step father had adopted me.
    My husband was abusive but I didn't see it until it was too late. We struggled along for 21 years and three kids. Did pretty well under the circumstances. We ended up divorced. Another long story.
    My real father is an alcoholic - highly functioning - very successful - sadly unable to beat the bottle. He is in denial.
    I have been a social drinker all my life - never drank when I was pregnant - always thought I had it under control as an adult. Never would drink and drive. I was proud of how I handled myself as a wife and mother with my abusive history. Sadly, my early experience taught me to turn to alcohol (and hurt myself) when I was stressed and as my life got crazy late in my marriage and divorce I turned to alcohol big time. Wine and beer, mostly, but every night and until I passed out. My marriage was ending, many friends and family members had passed away tragically and suddenly, I had been a caregiver to my husband through a long illness, I had been ill myself after the birth of my third child, we had moved every two years for my husband's job...................I could go on and on, but I did title this "short" overview.....
    Somewhere in my heart I knew I was heading down the wrong road, but I kept right on going until I was in so deep I could not get out on my own.
    MYO has been a great help to me and really my only hope so far. It is wonderful to have a place to heal and find help and support anonymously.
    So many stories and touching posts here - all are humbling and remind me of how very fortunate I am - even with all my "history" I have my health, my children and grandchildren and my wonderful husband.
    Thanks for being there, every one of you!!!

    #2
    Short Overview

    Congrats to you for even making that first step! You are truly an inspiration to me....if you can do it so can I

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      #3
      Short Overview

      Jenn,

      This is the first time I've really scrolled through and looked at some of the stories from people I have come to know here at MWO.

      I am so sorry hear of your heartbreak and the sorrow that has touched your life.:l

      Thank you for sharing your story.
      :h :h :h :h

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        #4
        Short Overview

        Rachele

        I love your quote on faith. It is so true. I've been taking the first step my whole life - calling it one foot in front of the other - but always taking the first step without knowing what the staircase looked like. I have my first pair of shoes hanging in my bathroom - dirty and worn - I look at them every day and remind myself how many steps - how far - I have come. I know that sounds corny, but it is true.
        Thanks for your kind words - the heartbereak and sorrow have helped me reach beyond myself - to others - but they have also caused me to hurt myself through self abuse. Not a pretty picture, but reality.

        Blessings to you

        Jenn

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          #5
          Short Overview

          I have read many of the posts, and although I only know my story, it is obvious that I am not the only one with problems that alcohol has caused. I bought St Johns Wort yesterday and I actually do feel more positive. I took it before bed last night with some Advil PM and slept through until about 4:30am, I then got up and went to the gym. I have to say that I sweated more than I thought I was, but since I went to bed at 10pm, I was AF. I got home and of course, had a glass of wine to stop the shakes. Tomorrow I am going to spend two hours at the gym and eventually try to get this out of my system.... I hope.

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            #6
            Short Overview

            Jenn,

            I have, sitting right beside me, a book called "the bright red scream." along with other books on how to help out of control teenagers.

            I know much more about self injury than I every knew two years ago.

            Ironically that is the very first time I had ever heard there was a "pill" to help with alcoholisim. When they prescribed naltrexone for my daughter to help her stop cutting herself they told me it was used to help people stop drinking.

            I am happy to say the my daughter has stopped cutting herself but those were the hardest two years of my life.

            Jenn, I just want you to know. If you ever want to chat......I'm available during the day between 9am and 2:30pm eastern time about anything at all.:l
            :h :h :h :h

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              #7
              Short Overview

              Rachele

              Thank you for your kind words. Things are going pretty well with my daughter at the moment. She struggles with attention type issues and also ocd. She is doing well, but it is an upward battle for her. So sorry to hear of your daughter's issues. Glad she is doing better. I will keep naltrexone in mind.

              Blessings to you and have a wonderful Friday!

              Jenn

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