My parents were always drinkers, my mother more so than my father. I had two older brothers who 'hated' girls and would bash me every day so much so that I had to go to a neighbours every afternoon until my parents got home from work. When I was 12 I was very tubby and was picked on by the local kids constantly.One afternoon a man showed me some attention. He was 28 years old. I went with him to his friends place where he sexually assaulted me in front of about six others male and a female.
Somehow the local kids found out and taunted me further using names I will not repeat here.
Shortly after I has my first drink and it felt GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alcohol gave me more confidence and I began drinking as regularly as I could.
My drinking became everything to me and I fancied myself as some sort of tragic figure like Bette Midler in The Rose as I would sashay around in my hippy gear drunk as a skunk.
I met a boy at school and fell madly in love. I thought we would be together forever but he died in a car accident (no Alcohol) at only 19.I remember the night he died stumbling around the streets crying inconsolably and totally drunk.
I then met my husband and we had our first child but he died when he was one from a genetic illness. Once again I found comfort in a bottle.
I had more sons but my marriage was volatile and often violent - just as much my fault for sure but during this time I went to university and achieved a business degree. For some reason my husband seemed to feel threatened by my success and we broke up.
I then immediately began a 5 year relationship with a man who drank far more than me which I kind of liked as I was usually not the one saying sorry the next day- CRAZY! once he was that drunk he punched me so hard I ended up in hospital with a fractured skull.
We broke up and I have now been single for nine years. I have held down some good jobs though have missed many days and told many lies but I have been unable to sustain a relationship for the past nine years.
I do not drink everyday as when I do I get so very wasted I am sick for a couple of days - I mean really sick - but then I go and do it again.I drink at least two to everyone elses one (and these are my drinking mates) and do 10 to 12 hour sessions of hard drinking often.
I recently had a kidney infection and the doctor gave me a liver function test and my enzymes are too high.
My kids seemed to get through this all ok except for one who blames me for everything in his life. They spent a lot of times at their dads so did not see it all and I was still always loving and generous .Probably too generous at times to assuage my guilt.
I would love to be able to have a few years as an adult who is sober. There is no greater feeling than a clear head so here I am as I know I cannot do this alone. - Thats me x
Somehow the local kids found out and taunted me further using names I will not repeat here.
Shortly after I has my first drink and it felt GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alcohol gave me more confidence and I began drinking as regularly as I could.
My drinking became everything to me and I fancied myself as some sort of tragic figure like Bette Midler in The Rose as I would sashay around in my hippy gear drunk as a skunk.
I met a boy at school and fell madly in love. I thought we would be together forever but he died in a car accident (no Alcohol) at only 19.I remember the night he died stumbling around the streets crying inconsolably and totally drunk.
I then met my husband and we had our first child but he died when he was one from a genetic illness. Once again I found comfort in a bottle.
I had more sons but my marriage was volatile and often violent - just as much my fault for sure but during this time I went to university and achieved a business degree. For some reason my husband seemed to feel threatened by my success and we broke up.
I then immediately began a 5 year relationship with a man who drank far more than me which I kind of liked as I was usually not the one saying sorry the next day- CRAZY! once he was that drunk he punched me so hard I ended up in hospital with a fractured skull.
We broke up and I have now been single for nine years. I have held down some good jobs though have missed many days and told many lies but I have been unable to sustain a relationship for the past nine years.
I do not drink everyday as when I do I get so very wasted I am sick for a couple of days - I mean really sick - but then I go and do it again.I drink at least two to everyone elses one (and these are my drinking mates) and do 10 to 12 hour sessions of hard drinking often.
I recently had a kidney infection and the doctor gave me a liver function test and my enzymes are too high.
My kids seemed to get through this all ok except for one who blames me for everything in his life. They spent a lot of times at their dads so did not see it all and I was still always loving and generous .Probably too generous at times to assuage my guilt.
I would love to be able to have a few years as an adult who is sober. There is no greater feeling than a clear head so here I am as I know I cannot do this alone. - Thats me x
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