Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I could really use someone's advice - is this site real???

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    I could really use someone's advice - is this site real???

    A little history about myself and why I?ve became a member at your site. I?m 36 years old and have been a happily married man for 3 plus years. For the most part I feel great as a step dad and have fallen into that role well. I feel my step boys love me and I couldn?t imagine not having them in my life. Since college, I?ve enjoyed success in my career. In sixteen years of work I?ve ranked in the top 1-3% of salespeople year in and year out. My physical fitness level is at or about the same level it has been since high school. My weight is in check. I run upwards of twelve miles weekly and do work outs on the rowing machine etc. So from the outside things look great. You may ask yourself why am I here and what has me becoming an My Way Out member?

    Well, as you can see I was a frat guy in college. I became a heavy social (well maybe just heavy) drinker in college. Before that, in high school when not competing in wrestling or football I spent my off-seasons getting loaded on the weekends with my teammates and the girls that we were trying to pick up. So looking back, I dabbled with beer my freshman year and started drinking beer regularly by my sophomore to junior year in high school. At college, I picked up where I left off. Meeting a new set friends in a fraternity that were goal oriented (academics), sports minded, women-chasing guys. I fit right in. Throughout my four years at college I pretty much partied with the gang four nights per week (normally Thursday through Saturday with another night mixed in). Looking back, our drinking pattern was considered binge drinking. At that time, my motto was get your school work done before drinking & then let partying be my reward. With this motto in place, I graduated with a 3.6 gpa (.6% better than high school). Knowing how much I like partying I'm surprised I didn't graduate higher.

    After college I fell into a career path in the steel industry. I worked hard five days per week and sometimes weekends. With my free time on the weekends, I typically spent them the same way as in college. Drinking beer and chasing women as a young 20 something. After a short marriage (8 months) in my mid 20?s I spent nearly 5 years single living in ATL I picked up where I dropped off. Nearing my 30th birthday I remember being on cruise control. I was at the top of my company outselling guys that had been with the company a decade prior to me; I had just completed a marathon in under 4 hrs.; had plenty of friends and girls to date; but no one special in my life. No wife. No kids. No dog etc. The things that I thought I would have by this time in my life I didn?t have. Growing up in a small town in Ohio, I would have never guessed that I would have owned a home near downtown ATL; out earning both of my parents and then some. But still, no family. The month prior to my 30th birthday I remember having plenty of spare time. Having just completed the marathon I was in great shape and had a wide open calendar. So, nearly every night for a month I went out drinking beer. I began praying for a change during the day; while sitting at my favorite bar; and while laying in bed. A couple months later I met my soon to be wife. Literally, I got everything and more than I was wanting. She is a social (but on the light side) drinker and doesn?t like drinking around our boys who we share custody with her ex-husband. Since we met I?ve been a pretty big ?partier? which means binging I guess for special occasions (which with me seems to be a lot of occasions).

    Now fast forward, even though I?m a step Dad and husband I?m still drinking more than pretty much most everyone we?re with when we go to parties or have football parties at the house etc. See last weekend (8 days ago) my kids who are 13 and 15 saw me drink about 10 beers at a neighbors house before during and after dinner. I was there nearly for over four hours but in retrospect I had a few at the house with a cigar. So a lot of beer. The thing is I remember not really dying for a beer before I started. Then, I just keep on going for no reason at all. Hour after hour. Lately I've been bored by drinking too but I still do it. Is it habit? There were others that were drinking but I?m guessing in retrospect, the closest guy had four to five drinks and one women 3 or 4. Literally, I had ten beers. I remember trying twice to stop drinking and leaving. The owner of the house remarked, ?it is early stick around, there is more Miller Lite in the fringe?. See it didn?t take much arm twisting to get me to stay and have another beer. Literally, I think that I had three more after she mentioned staying.

    I remember everything quite clear so it isn?t that I had a black out. My wife says that my speech was slurred and that my younger boy noticed that I seemed drunk. Can you imagine that? After about a dozen beers this could happen? I have a lot of latitude with drinking around my wife normally but at this point ? there is no tolerance. Drinking in front of the kids to this point is intolerable from her point of view - and frankly I'm starting to see where she is coming from! In the past I would tell my wife oh it is no big deal etc. I can handle that. It really isn?t that much over the time period etc. Well, this time I upset her to the point where I felt like I caused damage that couldn?t be repaired. Two months prior to this while visiting a friend of the family a similar incident occurred. I felt like I had the green light to party with an old buddy but I drank too much and the kids made a comment to my wife.

    Now, I?m at the point where I now want to not want to drink so much. I never want to be in the place where I was in my 20?s ? without a family and wife. I now have what I was wanting all those years. I want to be able to control my drinking so that I don?t binge and upset and or disappoint her.

    All of this information was given to you in order for me to ask for your advice and discuss the goals that I have for myself and for my wife and kids. Again, I want to stop drinking out of boredom and stop drinking in excess around the kids. I read 75-80% of your book and am ready to get started. I want to proceed full speed ahead with the hypnotherapy cd?s; supplements and supplements and increase my exercise routine. I?m not ready to move forward with Topo yet. I am basically the sole breadwinner of the house and I can?t afford to have dopy topy syndrome. I?m not ruling it out but I feel at this point that I can work to get the results necessary without it.

    Which cd?s do you recommend? Also, where do I buy the supplements? Would you give me some feedback?

    Seriously, I could use some help - advice. I've called the phone number for the medical store and left my phone number and no one called me back.

    Again, is this site real?

    #2
    I could really use someone's advice - is this site real???

    Frat, Im not familiar with the phone number but yes this site is real. We are all very supportive of each other. There are supplements and meds that can help. Participate, chat read, share..thats what i recommend to you. good luck and a BIG WELCOME

    Comment


      #3
      I could really use someone's advice - is this site real???

      First off, :welcome:, and yes, this site is real.

      We are real people, and we all have varying degrees of issues with alcohol.

      It sounds to me like you are not down too far and this is a great time to stop it in its tracks.

      Most people recommend trying for 30 days AF (alcohol free) even if you plan on moderating in the future.

      I think it is a great idea because it level sets you. If you can make the 30 days fairly easily, you can perhaps then have a plan in place on how to moderate.

      Understand, binge drinking is just as deadly as what someone like me did, daily drinking. It hurts your body, and as you can see, it hurts your relationships, and if left unchecked can lead you down much farther.

      All that said, I will let those whose drinking is more in tune with yours respond to what you may or may not want to do.

      I am one of those who ended up drinking 24/7, lots of vodka and have done much damage to my health and my marriage.

      I have managed many days of AF in the last few months, but as you can see from my signature line, I am still struggling, myself.

      However, the supplements help a tremendous amount (you start feeling better faster).

      I am glad you are here and hope you can arrest this thing before it endangers the life you have wanted and are grateful to have.

      Cindi
      AF April 9, 2016

      Comment


        #4
        I could really use someone's advice - is this site real???

        Frat to Dad,

        Yes, this a real place and you will find your way around. Check the Monthly Abstinence thread if you are interested in going a period alcohol free to get some perspective.

        I used the book and no topo. I had the CD's but never really used them. Exercise and a close examination of my life priorities helped me find my way out two years ago.

        Welcome.

        July

        Comment


          #5
          I could really use someone's advice - is this site real???

          There are other medications that you can use to slow down your drinking besides topa. Take a look at the medication and natural healing sections up at the top of the forums page. There are tons of information there.

          I used topa to get sober a couple of years ago, and I am now on a low maintenance dose. The topa-dopa effect was hard to take though. They are doing so much valuable medical research these days.

          Many people here get Alcohol Free or learn to Moderate just by using the supplements and/or CD's and getting exercise.

          Welcome, and yes we are real people. I've been here over 3 1/2 years, and I've been sober for over 2. I'm one of those people that cannot moderate. I've made many friends, and a few very good friends during my time here.


          I wish you all the best finding your way out.
          AF as of August 5th, 2012

          Comment


            #6
            I could really use someone's advice - is this site real???

            hi fratboy and welcome
            :welcome: This site is as real as that beer you have in your hand, goodluck


            :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

            Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
            I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

            This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

            Comment


              #7
              I could really use someone's advice - is this site real???

              If this site was not full of real people, it would not be as addicting as it is to many members!

              Good luck on your journey and thanks for sharing your story.

              Comment


                #8
                I could really use someone's advice - is this site real???

                Lots of real people here fratboy/husband of varying backgrounds and degrees of problem drinking.
                I hope you find here what you need.

                Comment


                  #9
                  I could really use someone's advice - is this site real???

                  Zenny, what is an amino blend that you are talking about

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I could really use someone's advice - is this site real???

                    Welcome frat/husband. Yes, this sit is most definitely real! Spend some time reading through the message boards - there are so many great people on this site with lots of different stories, etc. You'll find many different ideas and strategies to try.

                    As for supplements and meds, there are many of those to try too. I haven't tried any meds, but I did try the Kudzu some time ago, and it was great for cravings. I more recently purchased L-glutamine from my local health store, and it was great for cravings too. I read part of the book, but have not ordered the CD's, etc. I think you just have to try some things and see if it works for you.

                    For me, I think a big part of it was changing my habits. (I was an alone drinker who often drank out of boredom .. but in the last while it became a phsyical addiction, morning to night.) Now I don't come home from work and sit and drink. I got out and do errands, go for a walk, bake something, etc. There are so many things to do than sit and drink!

                    Very nice to meet you. Best of luck to you. Looking forward to your posts.
                    AF for two years. Slight relapse. Working on it at the moment.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I could really use someone's advice - is this site real???

                      Hi Frat,I'm a newbie like you and now 11 days sober. This site has been a godsend. good luck. i'm trying the L-Glutamine but it only time will tell if it works.
                      It could be worse, I could be filing.
                      AF since 7/7/2009

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I could really use someone's advice - is this site real???

                        This site is very much for real and I am so glad you found it !!!
                        Welcome aboard the boards !!!
                        sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

                        Comment

                        Working...
                        X