My story of excuses

[iia67]

My story of excuses

Chris,

I am new to this so I can't give much advice, but I do know exactly what you are going through and unfortunately its extremely tough...physically and mentally. I too am self employed. My best leads come at social and networking events where alcohol is ALWAYS present. And by God I'm damn witty after a couple of drinks. My problem is that I don't stop there...I keep drinking. I think alot of times so I don't have to go through sobering up. I get chest pains..alot. And sometimes the anxiety is way too much. But I make it through. I just tell myself that this too shall pass. I hate of all the hours of my life I have wasted, waiting to feel better to get on with my day. I am sure I have been drunk more days than sober the past 25 years...and I'm only 39. I have to turn my life around or I will die. I have 4 kids that rely on me 100%.

I have chosen not to visit a doctor, because quite fankly, I'm embarrassed and don't want it on my medical records. It would probably be a little easier if I did, but I told my wife that its my last resort. Chris, I have only been coming here for about 2 weeks, but I haven't been drinking nearly as much. I was compltely sober 3 days last week and on my 3rd consecutive day today for this week. I haven't taken any supps, meds, or listened to the CD's yet, but from what I read on this site, I think I will try at least some of them. I'm here for you if you need someone. I don't think I can do it alone either.

Brian

[Chris]

My story of excuses

My issue is that I dont go out and drink. I stay at home and do it. I hate that I know that I have to have something to stop these things. I HAVE seen 2 therapists and a doctor, the doctor was the one who told me to NOT stop drinking. I wish I never went to see her. Then I started reading various websites about NOT quitting and it pissed me off even more that she was right. So I am limiting myself to beer and wine right now. I dont go out because I am afraid to get caught in the car, or even worse do harm to someone else. Sometimes I think that if I just quitted without seeing or talking to anyone, I would have been better off. I will never know because now I am ready to talk. Again, the depression that it causes is the worse.

[cv1]

My story of excuses

Hi Chris, Please go down through the amino acid posts in the research forum here and you will find many helpful tips and links to aid you in healing your body naturally so that you can relieve the anxiety and depression. These are biochemical problems that you can fix with aminos and supplements. Please read through some of those posts and visit some of the other websites so that you can completely heal yourself.

I know where you are coming from and you can get better.

Here's the link to another site if you are interested. http://204.147.80.67/~brecovery/alco...ery_times.html

[arcadiabreeze]

My story of excuses

Hi Chris

:welcome: Hold on in there - you are not alone.

You must be terrified, but I'm sure that with all the support you will find here and the medical intervention you clearly need you will get through this. As the saying goes "you can do it and we can help".

Have a good cry :upset: and then make a plan :man: ...you deserve nothing less.

[Chris]

My story of excuses

I dont know how

I dont even know how to start

[spaggs]

My story of excuses

hi .chris. dont know why you were told its dangerous to stop .i stopped cold turkey with no supplements 30 years ago only need something for anxiety for 2 reasons drinking causes anxiety plus had a work accident which caused a head injury rattled the nervers quite a bit .from my point of view leave any antidepressants alone they just cover things up and and hold back recovery .at the time my liver was on the way out i had to decide stop drinking or be dead in less than 18 months .liver regenerated still hear and havent touched a drop since .a little tip alcoholics do not become casual drinkers .determination and willpower are the best tools we have to get well .the only way to stop any more damage to the body is to never drink again .im 63 seen a lot of drinkers but people have to do things that they feel will help them to stop drinking stick with it chris you will beat it. spaggs if you need extra support fell free to contact me learnt counserling after i stoped drinking but didnt take exam no short tearm memory .your not alone spaggs

[Discouraged in Canada]

My story of excuses

Dear Chris and others.

I just got driven home by a wonderful fellow I met recently. I spent the night at his house - fortunately he is gay and didn't take advantage of my condition...but if he had, it would not have been the first. It is increasingly clear to me that I have a significant drinking problem. I can have alcohol in my house - no problem - but find it almost impossible now to stop at one drink.

My friends tell me I am one of the most beautiful people they know - I have a nice home, a wonderful dog, and a great career - I'm 46, divorced for many years and by all appearances, have a wonderful life. If my friends only knew how desparate I've become because of alcohol. I keep making excuse after excuse and I'm sick of it. I came home, turned on my computer, googled "alcoholism" and found this site.

I'm going to download the book - and sit in the sun and read it today. I've got to get this handled....I don't want to continue to live my life this way.

[InnerStrength]

My story of excuses

Hi Discouraged

Hi Discouraged:welcome:
I am in Canada as well - whereabouts do you live, if you dont mind my asking?
I too have had instances where I woke up at a strange person's house - many of whom were gay - I have a lot of gay male friends
Things have changed a lot since I have joined this site. You have come to the right place.
Jen

[Discouraged in Canada]

My story of excuses

I'm in Halifax.....thank you for your note. I'm so confused about my behaviour....I really appreciate hearing from you.

[InnerStrength]

My story of excuses

Hi again

I completely understand why you feel confused about your behaviour but you'd be amazed how common it is for people who drink. Stick around these boards and you will see how much you have in common with these great people around here. I am glad you found us. I am in the toronto area so we are not very close to one another but its still kind of neat that we are both Canadians! I hear Halifax is beautiful though I have never had the pleasure of visiting yet!
Take some time to read the posts and the book. You won't regret it! Feel free to message me anytime. We know where you are coming from and we are here to help!!
Hugs
Jen:l

[CC Canadian]

My story of excuses

Hi Chris,

Reading your post brought back memories to me. I need help. I used to repeat those 3 words over and over in my head, not knowing where I could find the help I needed. I had tried counselling ..that was a ineffective...the thought of AA was out of the question for me and then I found this program. That was a year ago this month. And I am proud to say I now have my life back.

A year ago this month I was a total mess. Alcohol (wine was my preferance although I'd drink anything) was controlling me. My marriage, family, work and self respect suffered.

When I read about this program I believed it could work for me and I went into it with a determination to succeed. I followed the program 'by the book' and immediately was amazed that I didn't experience withdrawl symptoms. The supplements really handle that well. I started taking the topamax and still do to this day.
Cravings would surface and still do now and then but I control them with the kudzu.

I never touched alcohol for 6 months after starting the program. To this day I have had less than 10 drinks in the year. That's the way I wanted to do it. I wanted to get thoughts of thinking about alcohol on a daily basis out of my head. I have achieved that.


If the program can work for me it can work for anyone. Determination is the key.

All the best

CC

[carla]

My story of excuses

come on chris. start it all over again, at least from here. I hate to admit that I see you fading out...most of us are, but with four sons, you have done great. Don't make any more babies (as part time hobby) now, come out again and seek light. Sleeping in chat room isn't a solution......I am with you Chris, heads high...

[Guest]

My story of excuses

excuses

mojomuppet wrote: i am the excuse queen. thanks to some people here i dont use them quite so much!

i know what you mean that made me laugh but also cry inside we can only surely carry on trying to control it at least we havnt given up giving up that means there is hope