Maybe more for my benefit, but thought it might help for me to put this into a post.
When I took my first job out of school, I was in a new city and was "working" for the first time. I was bored and didn't know many people. I started to bring home a bomb shell (a 40 oz.) of beer after work....this wasn't new to me as I drank in college, but only the typical college drinker (weekends). So this so called "bomb shell" brought on a calming effect and I could tolerate the boredom...always looking forward to my evening beer. Nothing out of control at this point for the most part. Then my father was diagnosed with bone cancer and I had never really experienced any family sicknesses or deaths. I didn't know how to handle it and was of course scared, as he was only given a short time to live. Then I started to really drink. I found that Vodka did a much better job of killing the pain than the beer. As I watched my father go from a strong man to almost nothing but bones, it was horrible. The only thing which made it feel better (false, now I know) was the booze. I did not spend nearly as much time with him in the end as it felt as if it were killing me at the same time seeing him like this (this is one of those items I can never forgive myself for). So the drinking supposedly helped me cope. After he passed away, I was drinking like a fish (3/4 a bottle of Jack a night...not one of those small ones). I was a professional drunk. My career was fine and in fact, my drinking was acceptable as my job was in sales management and that meant taking customers out to have a good time. As time went on, the AL finally caught up with me. I found myself distanced from my wife and I became a bloated drunk. That didn't stop me though. Even my sister was a hard drinker and ended up in ICU for 14 days and then the general hospital for another 14 days due to pancreatitus (sp?). The whole family came to the hospital as she was not supposed to live...all her organs were failing, all due to drinking. By some miracle from God, she lived. I still continued drinking, but still functioning ok, although small pieces of my life were slowly coming apart. Anyway, to get to where I am now, I started to have all sorts of strange infections (lung, eye, etc.) and didn't know why. That's when my doc asked me if I drank. I said just moderately...dumb. I may have lied, but that's when I started thinking about my problem. It really hit home when I started having lots of pain in my back and liver area. So here I am. Trying to get my health back and I'm only in my early 30's. Life has been forgiving as I still have a good job, my wife who stands by me, and a chance to change my health and my life around. That's my story and that's why I am here...thanks for the time each of you has spent with encouragement and support.
When I took my first job out of school, I was in a new city and was "working" for the first time. I was bored and didn't know many people. I started to bring home a bomb shell (a 40 oz.) of beer after work....this wasn't new to me as I drank in college, but only the typical college drinker (weekends). So this so called "bomb shell" brought on a calming effect and I could tolerate the boredom...always looking forward to my evening beer. Nothing out of control at this point for the most part. Then my father was diagnosed with bone cancer and I had never really experienced any family sicknesses or deaths. I didn't know how to handle it and was of course scared, as he was only given a short time to live. Then I started to really drink. I found that Vodka did a much better job of killing the pain than the beer. As I watched my father go from a strong man to almost nothing but bones, it was horrible. The only thing which made it feel better (false, now I know) was the booze. I did not spend nearly as much time with him in the end as it felt as if it were killing me at the same time seeing him like this (this is one of those items I can never forgive myself for). So the drinking supposedly helped me cope. After he passed away, I was drinking like a fish (3/4 a bottle of Jack a night...not one of those small ones). I was a professional drunk. My career was fine and in fact, my drinking was acceptable as my job was in sales management and that meant taking customers out to have a good time. As time went on, the AL finally caught up with me. I found myself distanced from my wife and I became a bloated drunk. That didn't stop me though. Even my sister was a hard drinker and ended up in ICU for 14 days and then the general hospital for another 14 days due to pancreatitus (sp?). The whole family came to the hospital as she was not supposed to live...all her organs were failing, all due to drinking. By some miracle from God, she lived. I still continued drinking, but still functioning ok, although small pieces of my life were slowly coming apart. Anyway, to get to where I am now, I started to have all sorts of strange infections (lung, eye, etc.) and didn't know why. That's when my doc asked me if I drank. I said just moderately...dumb. I may have lied, but that's when I started thinking about my problem. It really hit home when I started having lots of pain in my back and liver area. So here I am. Trying to get my health back and I'm only in my early 30's. Life has been forgiving as I still have a good job, my wife who stands by me, and a chance to change my health and my life around. That's my story and that's why I am here...thanks for the time each of you has spent with encouragement and support.
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