I've been sitting here for 3 hours wondering why I am in the situation I am today and how in the world to explain it let alone get out of it.
My life has been pretty "normal" but somehow I lost my way. Growing up, I got into my share of trouble in my teen years but I settled down at 15 and went on to college. I have/had 3 sisters (I'm the oldest). When I was 20 one of my sisters died in a car accident at 17. It was the first tragedy our family had ever experienced.
At the time, I was living with my fianc? and going to college. It was hard, but our family got through it - if I can call it that (My mother had a nervous breakdown, my father left, and my 2 other sisters were left to fend for themselves at 14).
I got through college but I left for Europe right after at 23 and have been here ever since. That is where I started drinking socially. At first, it was fun to binge drink going out to night clubs. Then I got the point I drank every night. Feelings of abandonment haunting my dreams and the AL was there to dull the pain. The funny thing is that I left my home, my home and family didn't leave me so I don't understand these feeling so well.
To make a long story short, I am now 40(ish) and still getting drunk every other day - At least I give my body a break once in a while - I'm a "compulsive" drinker. There is always a way to convince myself that it's OK to drink that one drink. The problem is I don't know how to stop after that 1st glass. It's funny because I have a good job, friends, boyfriend, confortable life and I STILL drink. Why ? And why me?
I again woke up this morning after 3 litres of wine yesterday and feeling guilty, beating myself up mentally, and feeling generally like "SHIT" (excuse my french). Then I stumbled onto this website this morning and thought why not give it a try. Nothing else seems to do the "trick". I really want to take control of my life because I know that everything and everyone around me is suffering from my "habit".
Anyway, if you're still here then you may have some advice for me. Looking forward to getting to know you all.
MLC:new:
My life has been pretty "normal" but somehow I lost my way. Growing up, I got into my share of trouble in my teen years but I settled down at 15 and went on to college. I have/had 3 sisters (I'm the oldest). When I was 20 one of my sisters died in a car accident at 17. It was the first tragedy our family had ever experienced.
At the time, I was living with my fianc? and going to college. It was hard, but our family got through it - if I can call it that (My mother had a nervous breakdown, my father left, and my 2 other sisters were left to fend for themselves at 14).
I got through college but I left for Europe right after at 23 and have been here ever since. That is where I started drinking socially. At first, it was fun to binge drink going out to night clubs. Then I got the point I drank every night. Feelings of abandonment haunting my dreams and the AL was there to dull the pain. The funny thing is that I left my home, my home and family didn't leave me so I don't understand these feeling so well.
To make a long story short, I am now 40(ish) and still getting drunk every other day - At least I give my body a break once in a while - I'm a "compulsive" drinker. There is always a way to convince myself that it's OK to drink that one drink. The problem is I don't know how to stop after that 1st glass. It's funny because I have a good job, friends, boyfriend, confortable life and I STILL drink. Why ? And why me?
I again woke up this morning after 3 litres of wine yesterday and feeling guilty, beating myself up mentally, and feeling generally like "SHIT" (excuse my french). Then I stumbled onto this website this morning and thought why not give it a try. Nothing else seems to do the "trick". I really want to take control of my life because I know that everything and everyone around me is suffering from my "habit".
Anyway, if you're still here then you may have some advice for me. Looking forward to getting to know you all.
MLC:new:
Comment