I won?t start at the beginning of my drinking career. My parents rarely drank and never smoked, I had a good childhood and was a bit spoiled. I tried all kinds of alcohol and drugs as a teenager but managed to get through those years without too many regrets/consequences.
Fast forward to my forties. My alcohol intake at this point is increasing yearly. I quit smoking at 46yo for three years. During that time my drinking increased ten-fold. I ended up replacing one addiction for another.
The moment that I finally realized I could not continue down this path happened while drinking with my husband and sneaking a smoke out on the patio. (my husband and I had both quit smoking and he didn?t know I was closet smoking). He had passed out in bed (from drinking) but I kept jumping up to look down the hall while I was smoking to make sure he wasn?t getting up. The movement of jumping up and sitting back down while drunk and smoking caused me to pass out and smack my head on the patio tile. I came to and knew instantly it was not a good situation. I tried waking him but he was out for the count. I grabbed a frozen pack of peas, applied it to my forehead and passed out next to him.
When I awoke the next morning I had a start of what was to become some major swelling and bruising. I was scared to death that I would not survive this head injury and too afraid to go to the ER for treatment because of my still high alcohol level. And besides, what kind of story could I concoct that would be believable to professionals? By the time Monday morning came around, both of my eyes were swollen shut and bruising was spreading from my forehead to beneath both eyes. The story I made up for work was that I tripped over our cat in the middle of the night.
It took 2 months for all the swelling and bruising to go away, but the memory of that incident is still vivid in my mind and still frightens me that I could have ended up dead from it.
These last two years I have spent trying to quit drinking and though I haven?t had any more ?accidents? I was still drinking. I have since divorced and am living with my soon to be 15 yo daughter and trying hard to be as good a Mom as I can be.
I am so happy to have found MWO. It felt so good to read about people who were like me and struggling. Now at 53, I finally have 9 days of sobriety. Which doesn?t sound like much, but to me it?s a GIANT step in the right direction for once.
I appreciate all of your posts, stories and support and look forward to my continued journey of sobriety. I may have slips or trips along the way, but I know today how good I feel and I really want to hang onto that.
Fast forward to my forties. My alcohol intake at this point is increasing yearly. I quit smoking at 46yo for three years. During that time my drinking increased ten-fold. I ended up replacing one addiction for another.
The moment that I finally realized I could not continue down this path happened while drinking with my husband and sneaking a smoke out on the patio. (my husband and I had both quit smoking and he didn?t know I was closet smoking). He had passed out in bed (from drinking) but I kept jumping up to look down the hall while I was smoking to make sure he wasn?t getting up. The movement of jumping up and sitting back down while drunk and smoking caused me to pass out and smack my head on the patio tile. I came to and knew instantly it was not a good situation. I tried waking him but he was out for the count. I grabbed a frozen pack of peas, applied it to my forehead and passed out next to him.
When I awoke the next morning I had a start of what was to become some major swelling and bruising. I was scared to death that I would not survive this head injury and too afraid to go to the ER for treatment because of my still high alcohol level. And besides, what kind of story could I concoct that would be believable to professionals? By the time Monday morning came around, both of my eyes were swollen shut and bruising was spreading from my forehead to beneath both eyes. The story I made up for work was that I tripped over our cat in the middle of the night.
It took 2 months for all the swelling and bruising to go away, but the memory of that incident is still vivid in my mind and still frightens me that I could have ended up dead from it.
These last two years I have spent trying to quit drinking and though I haven?t had any more ?accidents? I was still drinking. I have since divorced and am living with my soon to be 15 yo daughter and trying hard to be as good a Mom as I can be.
I am so happy to have found MWO. It felt so good to read about people who were like me and struggling. Now at 53, I finally have 9 days of sobriety. Which doesn?t sound like much, but to me it?s a GIANT step in the right direction for once.
I appreciate all of your posts, stories and support and look forward to my continued journey of sobriety. I may have slips or trips along the way, but I know today how good I feel and I really want to hang onto that.
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