I discovered this forum late last year, and while only deciding to become a member today, I have derived great enjoyment from reading other people's posts, especially since so many of them describe situations or events that I have personally experienced due to my drinking. In any case, I've recently made a serious resolution to go AF, and look at telling my story as a good first step to joining this forum.
I'm a 29-year-old male who began drinking when he was 15. Back then, my drinking was limited to a 6-pack or two of beer on the weekends, but even at this point I recognized that I seemed to enjoy it more than my friends. More importantly, I failed to notice a warning sign that I now realize was an important clue that perhaps I shouldn't drink, namely, that the next day, alcohol did not make me feel ill to the same degree as my friends.
Throughout my teenage years I continued to drink, but at this point I was able to limit it to the weekends, and only drank beer. It wasn't until I started university that my drinking accelerated to new levels. I partied very hard in university and developed a repuatation as a party animal with "hollow legs", someone who could drink all night and barely appear intoxicated. I must confess, I don't regret this period of my life in the least, as I had some great times I still cherish. More importantly, I managed to graduate with honours and was accepted into a graduate program at the same university, all funding taken care of by the school.
By this point my drinking was slowly progressing from heavy weekend partying, to the odd binge in the middle of the week. Also, I had given up beer for the most part and had fallen in love with wine. On the surface, I may have claimed that wine was a classier drink to imbibe in, but in reality I now see that my principal reason for switching was simply that it took too long for me to become intoxicated from beer. In any case, I completed a year of coursework for my master's degree and then, to save money, moved back home with my parents while I wrote my thesis. Thus began one of the worst emotional periods of my life.
For reasons still unknown, my drinking completely went berserk at this point (slightly over 4years ago). I found myself drinking almost daily and becoming very depressed. This is such a vicious cycle that I'm sure many people are aware of. We drink to alleviate depression, yet it only makes it worse, so we drink some more, ad infinitum. Luckily I had a very patient thesis supervisor, so I didn't jeopardize completion of my degree. However, to highlight how much alcohol can get in the way of one's passions, I completed my master's degree exactly one year later than I should have. Incredibly, despite my drinking I managed to be accepted into a world-renowned prestigious PhD program with an equally prestigious fellowship that essentially paid me a lucrative salary to be a student.
I resolved to myself that if I wanted to do my best and make the most out of this opportunity, the drinking had to go. This reveals how deluded my thinking was at this point, for despite the fact that I was aware that I was drinking dangerous amounts, I foolishly assumed that I would be able to just "turn it off". To make a long story short, by October of the first year in my PhD program I had lapsed into an anti-social alcohol-fueled existence, and had to request a leave of absence from my program coordinator. During my leave, I vowed to quit drinking and even managed to briefly do so for 17 days. However, I resumed drinking and continued deluding myself with the classic "you can quit later" excuse.
I did manage to finish the next semester of my program, but by the summer I once again found myself in a state of isolated drinking/abject depression. By this point, although I realized that alcohol was a huge part of the problem, I did have legitimate doubts as to whether I wanted to continue in an academic career. Thus, one night in early October of 2007, as I sat like a zombie in a boring seminar discussion, I quietly got up, hopped on my motorcycle and immediately found a local liquor store. I awoke at 5am on my bed, fully clothed, with an empty bottle of vodka beside me. I can at least say I went out with a bang!
I feel as if I've already rambled too much, so I'll summarize the rest of my story quickly. I ended up getting a good job which tamed (although didn't eliminate) my dangerous drinking, before deciding to pursue a career that I had previously cast aside in my youth, teaching. Over this past year I earned my teaching licence for elementary school. Despite all this, my drinking has escalated.
I don't have a bad life, and I feel proud about what I've accomplished. Also, I don't have any problems with my health, as even in the wake of excessive drinking I've made sure to take a multivitamin daily, eat reasonably well and get regular exercise. There's no rational reason for me to drink, but like many here, I just do it! And with vigour!
To sum this up, recently my family had a large party, and the following day one of my cousins and I ended up continuing the party and finishing up the extra booze. The cousin in question makes my own drinking appear amateur, so even in my own inebriated state I recall feeling bad for the guy and disgusted on some level that anyone would do that to themselves. Of course, I then pointed out to myself that there isn't much of a difference between my cousin and myself. After all, I was the guy who, after a night of drinking beer, corked a 1.5L bottle of wine first thing upon rising and proceeded to drink it and then some all day and night. The next day, after my cousin had left, I resolved to quit drinking on my 30th birthday (which is this fall). However, this same night, much to my surprise, I found myself stinking drunk again, having finished off the last of the extra booze. It was at this point that I realized something very clearly for the first time; there is no point postponing quitting alcohol. The problem will not be any easier to overcome by putting it on the shelf for a while.
Hence, after finishing my last drink around 4am on Tuesday, August 18th, 2009, I haven't picked up a drink since. So far it's been 15 days, and while there are still some problems with cravings, I was fortunate enough not to experience any major withdrawal and feel much healthier, even at this early date. I'm not interested in taking supplements or the other aspects of the MWO program, but I decided to join because this does seem like a genuinely supportive environment, one in which I think I could benefit from greatly. Thank you to anyone who had the patience to read through my lengthy story!
I'm a 29-year-old male who began drinking when he was 15. Back then, my drinking was limited to a 6-pack or two of beer on the weekends, but even at this point I recognized that I seemed to enjoy it more than my friends. More importantly, I failed to notice a warning sign that I now realize was an important clue that perhaps I shouldn't drink, namely, that the next day, alcohol did not make me feel ill to the same degree as my friends.
Throughout my teenage years I continued to drink, but at this point I was able to limit it to the weekends, and only drank beer. It wasn't until I started university that my drinking accelerated to new levels. I partied very hard in university and developed a repuatation as a party animal with "hollow legs", someone who could drink all night and barely appear intoxicated. I must confess, I don't regret this period of my life in the least, as I had some great times I still cherish. More importantly, I managed to graduate with honours and was accepted into a graduate program at the same university, all funding taken care of by the school.
By this point my drinking was slowly progressing from heavy weekend partying, to the odd binge in the middle of the week. Also, I had given up beer for the most part and had fallen in love with wine. On the surface, I may have claimed that wine was a classier drink to imbibe in, but in reality I now see that my principal reason for switching was simply that it took too long for me to become intoxicated from beer. In any case, I completed a year of coursework for my master's degree and then, to save money, moved back home with my parents while I wrote my thesis. Thus began one of the worst emotional periods of my life.
For reasons still unknown, my drinking completely went berserk at this point (slightly over 4years ago). I found myself drinking almost daily and becoming very depressed. This is such a vicious cycle that I'm sure many people are aware of. We drink to alleviate depression, yet it only makes it worse, so we drink some more, ad infinitum. Luckily I had a very patient thesis supervisor, so I didn't jeopardize completion of my degree. However, to highlight how much alcohol can get in the way of one's passions, I completed my master's degree exactly one year later than I should have. Incredibly, despite my drinking I managed to be accepted into a world-renowned prestigious PhD program with an equally prestigious fellowship that essentially paid me a lucrative salary to be a student.
I resolved to myself that if I wanted to do my best and make the most out of this opportunity, the drinking had to go. This reveals how deluded my thinking was at this point, for despite the fact that I was aware that I was drinking dangerous amounts, I foolishly assumed that I would be able to just "turn it off". To make a long story short, by October of the first year in my PhD program I had lapsed into an anti-social alcohol-fueled existence, and had to request a leave of absence from my program coordinator. During my leave, I vowed to quit drinking and even managed to briefly do so for 17 days. However, I resumed drinking and continued deluding myself with the classic "you can quit later" excuse.
I did manage to finish the next semester of my program, but by the summer I once again found myself in a state of isolated drinking/abject depression. By this point, although I realized that alcohol was a huge part of the problem, I did have legitimate doubts as to whether I wanted to continue in an academic career. Thus, one night in early October of 2007, as I sat like a zombie in a boring seminar discussion, I quietly got up, hopped on my motorcycle and immediately found a local liquor store. I awoke at 5am on my bed, fully clothed, with an empty bottle of vodka beside me. I can at least say I went out with a bang!
I feel as if I've already rambled too much, so I'll summarize the rest of my story quickly. I ended up getting a good job which tamed (although didn't eliminate) my dangerous drinking, before deciding to pursue a career that I had previously cast aside in my youth, teaching. Over this past year I earned my teaching licence for elementary school. Despite all this, my drinking has escalated.
I don't have a bad life, and I feel proud about what I've accomplished. Also, I don't have any problems with my health, as even in the wake of excessive drinking I've made sure to take a multivitamin daily, eat reasonably well and get regular exercise. There's no rational reason for me to drink, but like many here, I just do it! And with vigour!
To sum this up, recently my family had a large party, and the following day one of my cousins and I ended up continuing the party and finishing up the extra booze. The cousin in question makes my own drinking appear amateur, so even in my own inebriated state I recall feeling bad for the guy and disgusted on some level that anyone would do that to themselves. Of course, I then pointed out to myself that there isn't much of a difference between my cousin and myself. After all, I was the guy who, after a night of drinking beer, corked a 1.5L bottle of wine first thing upon rising and proceeded to drink it and then some all day and night. The next day, after my cousin had left, I resolved to quit drinking on my 30th birthday (which is this fall). However, this same night, much to my surprise, I found myself stinking drunk again, having finished off the last of the extra booze. It was at this point that I realized something very clearly for the first time; there is no point postponing quitting alcohol. The problem will not be any easier to overcome by putting it on the shelf for a while.
Hence, after finishing my last drink around 4am on Tuesday, August 18th, 2009, I haven't picked up a drink since. So far it's been 15 days, and while there are still some problems with cravings, I was fortunate enough not to experience any major withdrawal and feel much healthier, even at this early date. I'm not interested in taking supplements or the other aspects of the MWO program, but I decided to join because this does seem like a genuinely supportive environment, one in which I think I could benefit from greatly. Thank you to anyone who had the patience to read through my lengthy story!
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake,
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