I was in a 4 year realationship with my g.f, we have a beautiful almost 4 year old girl. I rarly drank, maybe a beer once a month or one at family bbq's. Then after my job became more stressful and my realatioinship with my g/f became more serious, I started drinking more. My then g.f told me what I was doing and I stoped for a while. After we moved to Florida I started my old habbits up again, id walk down to the convience store and bought me a beer and drank it on the walk back to the apartment. I knew it was wrong, but I couldnt stop it. She ended up breaking up with me twice over it, after two plane rides there and back home. I lost the woman that I loved and I lost my daughter. No pain is greater than loseing your child. So back in February I got back home, didnt drink, then In march I started again, March 11th I drank and drank, not remembering stupid me had to be over at a friends house early the next morning to take her kids to school cause she was going to the hospital to have her baby. I showed up, Felt like crap, threw up so many times i lost count. I was sober but so sick. I took her kids to school and went home and just threw up some more! I stoped yet again!!
The summer I did fine, not to much drinking, i wouldnt call myself a drunk, maybe a beer or two during the week. I always went to the same place to buy it, no hideing what I was doing. Was invited to a friends bday party where there was beer, but refused to go cause of it. End of August I met this woman, I fell for her hard, she had feelings for me to. She knew about my problem and offered to help, she offered to be a support system for me. The first time I wanted to drink i talked to her and it helped. Monday night September 7th I drank, I drank without talking to her without her support. I knew she was there but I just wasnt thinking. She found out, I told her after 5 beers. Now just cause I forgot her support was there, I lost her frindship and lost her support.
Im Alone and helpless at the moment. I dont feel the need to drink, it wont help anything, it wont help me get the friendship or the trust back. It wont solve my problems. She was the kick in the butt I needed to stop the drinking, now shes gone and I have no idea what to do. I've had a beer sitting next to me un opened for the past 2 hours. Next step is to take whats left of that 6 pack and dump it down the drain.
Reading some of all your posts, makes me realize there is help out there and there is support. I want to beat this, I want to beat this for myself, my family, friends and most of all the 3 people that I failed because of my drinking!! I will be a regular, reading all the posts. ONE day at a time, One step at time. Only place to go is forward, not back!! Thank You!!!
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