My Story by Irish Eyes

[irish eyes]

I find it difficult to relate my story but here goes… I grew up in a very dysfunctional family still not sure what went on. All I am aware of is that there was no alcohol involved, my mother was quite neurotic and I think my father may have been the same. All I am aware is that I did not feel loved or nurtured in any way by either of my parents. I had a granny for eighteen years who was wondeful and thought me any thing that I know. There were six children five girls and one boy who was the baby. I believe that my parents wanted a boy so much and they kept having girls and they lost interest after having the first two girls. I was the third girl, and my longest memory was needing my daddy’s approval. He never really was there emotionally for me, I don’t remember having a conversation with him apart from the time before I emigrated to Texas in 1978 to work as a nurse for a year. He said that he felt that he would never see me again. I guess he was thinking that I would never return like his siblings when they emigrated in former years. Seven months later I got a phonecall to say that he had died, I was devasted, I dident even know him. I returned home and continued to work as a nurse in a local hospital. My mom in the meantime was devasted and continuously talked about how hard done by she was eventhough they they never communicated to my knowledge. During my life my mother constantly criticised and put us down and I felt that I never measured up. After my dad died I met my husband who appeared to be supportive to me and we got married, shortly after marriage he began to treat me very badly mentally physically abusing me, I realised that I had made a terrible mistake he was an alcoholic and had no intention of dealing with his problem. I went to AL Anon where I got a lot of support and encouragement and after he tried to strangle me which was interrupted on Xmas Eve I separated from him. Although,it was a devastating experience I also felt really good that I no longer felt like a doormat for this man. I did not drink Al during this time apart from the occasional glass of beer every few months. My mother died two years ago last June and although I thought that I had made my peace with her, I was devasted by her death. I had been with her the week before she died and then I was going away on holidays she told me that she felt she was going to die and not to go on holidays. My mother as far as I was concerned spend her life telling me she was going to die, I went on holiday she died….. I began drinking at first a few glasses of wine at the week end this eventually escalated to a bottle on Friday and Saturday night. I would willingly have drunk every night of the week only I had to go to work. Then I found MWO…….. Today with the help of MWO I haven’t had a drink since Jan 1st this year. I still miss my mother so much but I think I miss her because she wasent there if that makes sense.

[Opal]

My Story by Irish Eyes

Thank you for sharing your story with us Irish, your a brave lady.

[scrubbly]

My Story by Irish Eyes

Irish.................................... :l :h :l :h

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I feel glad to know you and you are a very special person. I'm so glad you are here with us.

:angelgirl:

[tiptronic_ct]

My Story by Irish Eyes

Thank you for sharing your story, Irish.

I agree with Opes: you're a brave lady

[startingover]

My Story by Irish Eyes

Irish, that cant have been easy for you to write. I hope in some way its helped you.
You are a brave and compassionate lady and I feel you have really come out of your shell over the months.
Thank you for sharing Irish :l

[greeneyes]

My Story by Irish Eyes

wow irish....

[puddytat]

My Story by Irish Eyes

Irish, thanks for posting your story. In my dysfunctional family, alcohol played *barely* a role, except to make Dad a little cheerier and more 'functional'. (18 yrs ago in AL treatment, I got my a$$ kicked for saying that ... 'a clear cut case of DENIAL!' since the treatment police believed alcohol must be the only root of all 'dysfunction'. Bull Sh!t )

Appreciate how hard it is for you to share your story. Thank you so much. It sounds like a bleak existence that left you ill-equipped to deal with the world, and you deserved better in this world.

I've been trying to screw up my courage to post my story, over the past 10 days, and kept drinking over it. Sheesh.

Irish, I see you as a steady, wise, and unique voice on MWO. (I mean that as a compliment, and to say that I look forward to your posts. Not that you should be on any pedestal... just being you is great)

My heart to yours.
Puddy

[Emmy]

My Story by Irish Eyes

Thanks for sharing Irish :l Em

[mario]

My Story by Irish Eyes

Thanks for sharing your story Irish,you have been through a lot, I wish you a 100 per cent well in this new life :thanks: and well done

[irish eyes]

My Story by Irish Eyes

puddytat;732370 wrote: Irish, thanks for posting your story. In my dysfunctional family, alcohol played *barely* a role, except to make Dad a little cheerier and more 'functional'. (18 yrs ago in AL treatment, I got my a$$ kicked for saying that ... 'a clear cut case of DENIAL!' since the treatment police believed alcohol must be the only root of all 'dysfunction'. Bull Sh!t )

Appreciate how hard it is for you to share your story. Thank you so much. It sounds like a bleak existence that left you ill-equipped to deal with the world, and you deserved better in this world.

I've been trying to screw up my courage to post my story, over the past 10 days, and kept drinking over it. Sheesh.

Irish, I see you as a steady, wise, and unique voice on MWO. (I mean that as a compliment, and to say that I look forward to your posts. Not that you should be on any pedestal... just being you is great)

My heart to yours.
Puddy

Hey Puddy, Thank you for your kind words, sure you will post your story when you are ready. I am here nearly a year and I have only just posted so no sweat and No need to drink over it. Look after yourself :l

[one2many]

My Story by Irish Eyes

Thanks so much for posting Irish....

You are a wonderful, strong, articulate lady who is always there for others...you are a true inspiration hon......

[Guitarista]

My Story by Irish Eyes

I think you are Gorgeous......

[irish eyes]

My Story by Irish Eyes

Guitarista;732530 wrote: I think you are Gorgeous......

:blush::blush::blush:

[hippie37]

My Story by Irish Eyes

Irish, I could identify so much with your story particularly surrounding your father. I had exactly the same kind of relationship with my own. Always wanting his approval and acceptance, yet never getting that on an emotional level. I was, and still am very much today, a mummy's boy!

But your last sentence about missing your mum made absolute sense to me because I miss my dad so much today, nearly 6 years since he passed away. But to me that means I'm actually making progress with my grieving for him. It's almost like I'm having the relationship I always wanted with him today in spirit. And that's good enough for me today.

Love your posts as always Irish. Thank you for sharing your story.

Love and Light
Phil
xx

[DeeBee]

My Story by Irish Eyes

((Irish))
You are special!!