After 19 years sober, relapse!

[garagerat]

:new:Got sober in 1988 and stayed that way till 2006. Played as a professional musician in all the bars, clubs, hotels and other venues surronded by alcohol but never had it bother me. Suddenly in 2006 out of nowhere I picked up again and started where I left off, 12 beers and a bottle of windsor A NIGHT. Finally have got myself geared to get out of this fall after much loss in such a short time, not only monetarily, but emotionally also. Look forward to this group in my recovery efforts and any encourgement is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

[startingover]

After 19 years sober, relapse!

Hi Garagerat. Welcome to you!
Wow, that was some good sobriety time you had there? Great stuff!
Well, it looks like you can get there again doesnt it? This is a wonderful community where there is tons of support and inspiration.
Do you have a plan to stop or cut down?

[garagerat]

After 19 years sober, relapse!

Have had some consuling and been attending AA meetings but to be truthful I find that most of what I hear in those meetings is OHH whoa is me, without any constructive help. I,m trying different meetings hoping to find one that is conducive to my rehabilatation. Also found out today that there are drugs available to help with cravings, which is my big hangup right now. Must be careful tho since I have Hep C which I aquired while in the military in the 70's while in Korea.

[startingover]

After 19 years sober, relapse!

Check out this Topamax, Campral, Naltrexone, Baclofen, other meds - My Way Out Forums
You might find some useful info there.
Also you might want to try supplements, they might be gentler on your liver.
I used Lglutamine and Kudzu for cravings. They really helped me...

[tiptronic_ct]

After 19 years sober, relapse!

Welcome, Ratty

A huge congratulations on those 19 years!

I'm sure you'll find your way again.

Welcome to MWO. Its a really great community, and has helped me enormously in my own recovery. Stick close!

[tiptronic_ct]

After 19 years sober, relapse!

Oh - and what Starts said about meds: look into Baclofen in particular, if you're going to go the meds route. It is metabolised by the kidneys, and won't cause any further negative impact on your liver.

Also look at Milk Thistle as a supplement: it helps your liver recover and repair itself.

[IAD]

After 19 years sober, relapse!

Gar..........it happens, Alcoholism is a progressive disease........it manages to carry on where you left off . We must be always on a consent vidual...........Alcoholism will start again anew....IAD.

[garagerat]

After 19 years sober, relapse!

Thanks for the words of encouragement, much appreciated. I am looking very closely at Baclofen and if the Doc says OK I plan on trying that way. As for Milk Thistle, been on that for about 12-15 years now and I do believe it has helped. Am getting ready to try a third round of interferon for my type 2 Hep. Each bround of treatments makes it disappear but only for about 6 weeks and it's back. I am at stage three liver diesese with four beinf full blown cirrosis, but the Doc says that I just don't seem to be advancing to that stage,Amen!

[Mackeral]

After 19 years sober, relapse!

Hello and welcome Garagerat,

19 years eh...Wow. I hope you find the help and support here that you need..I am sure you will.. It is a great community with a vast amount of experiance and knowledge, as have you. I hope you stick around to give your own advice to others.

[Suni]

After 19 years sober, relapse!

Hi Garagerat,

Suddenly in 2006 out of nowhere I picked up again and started where I left off, 12 beers and a bottle of windsor A NIGHT.

Wow, does that serve as a warning or what? Nineteen years is a lifetime.
I'm interested in your statement that it came out of nowhere.
Can you remember your last thought/feeling/ you had before you had that first drink?
It's hard to believe that something didn't cause you to take it- even it was boredom or curiosity about what would happen.
Meanwhile, I'm new here myself but I love the site already. It's full of bright , savvy, positive and empathetic people with a great attitude and a lot of guts and determination.
You can only get help here.

[tlrgs]

After 19 years sober, relapse!

:hello2::colorwelcome::wave::groupluv:

[rubywillow]

After 19 years sober, relapse!

Rat, it's always something, isn't it? My Daddy served 3 tours in Korea. It takes a toll on you guys. Hang on, you've got people to talk to here. And your story serves as a great message, that we always have to be on guard. But you know that, and I know you can do this again, can find yourself again. Here for you, buddy.
Rubes

[mentathaloner]

After 19 years sober, relapse!

garagerat;734791 wrote: :new:Got sober in 1988 and stayed that way till 2006. Played as a professional musician in all the bars, clubs, hotels and other venues surronded by alcohol but never had it bother me. Suddenly in 2006 out of nowhere I picked up again and started where I left off, 12 beers and a bottle of windsor A NIGHT. Finally have got myself geared to get out of this fall after much loss in such a short time, not only monetarily, but emotionally also. Look forward to this group in my recovery efforts and any encourgement is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Thank you Garagerat!!!!!! Thank you!!! From a previous 15 years of AA indoctrination, I believe I found this place for a reason....Like you....this is my first time here....and have had 15 years of sobriety in "this lifetime"....but well, maybe it's easier to briefly outline my story relative to addictions.....
Basically I come from a family that definitely has "the gene".....my biological father (who is currently dieing of numerous cancers) is an alcoholic and drank all his life...my mother remarried a prominent doctor when I was 7, and became a severe alcoholic after drinking for only 5 years....(I was 10 or so when her alcohol began affecting our family)....During my teen years....my sister at the age of 16 became a heroine addict, my younger brother shot himself due to alcohol and drug addiction (but he lived...that was in 1980)...anyway...blah...blah....In 1980 at the age of 17...I joined AA (with the encouragement of my brother and mother who had both joined a year earlier)....After a year of sobriety and "hell" I entered a treatment center where I celebrated one year of sobriety....but one day of "hope"......I stayed sober for 15 years.....got a couple of degree's (psychology and philosophy), even worked as an addictions counsellor for about 10 years.....then in 1995, on a New Year's Eve...with a girlfriend (who didn't even drink) I non chalantely sp??? agreed to a free bottle of champaingn..!!!! I haven't quit drinking since....It wasn't a problem till probably the last 5 or 6 years.....Since my mother died in 2004...it has been a huge problem...I still have a job....(different field)....still have my spouse (who also drinks like me)....still even have a few supportive AA friends from years back that know I am struggling....but have lost all faith or hope in changing and becoming "addiction" free... (I also want to quit smoking...)....anyway...because I have a "GIGANTIC" ego.....and figure I am probably in the top 1% of major rationalizers in the world....and live 90% of my life in my head (thus my handle mentathaloner).....that returning to AA or the 12 steps is just not something I feel open to..I hated AA....(even though it saved my life)....I am not that "spiritual"...definitely not religious.....don't really believe in the "disease" model...but have the memory of (once an alcholic...always an alcoholic....blah..blah...)...or "until you are ready to go to any lengths...you will not succeed...anway..I'm babbling....For the past year I drink (usually alone or with my spouse) maybe....a couple of times a week....drink to oblivion.....Unfortunately we do have fun....still..but for me I say and become another personality...one that disgusts me....I hurt all those that I care about....anyway...I am just as they say "sick and tired of being sick and tired..." but it's more serious than that....I have come too close to toying with the idea of "what the purpose?"....as Woody Allen says...."Do I ever think about suicide???ARE you kidding....that's the only thing that keeps me alive!!!!"....Anyway, the last drink was on Thursday (spouse and I both agreed to stop the insanity)...so after a day or so of "sleeping"...I am here...searching the internet for guidance.....immediately came upon this site...and your post.....and was sooooo glad to see someone who has had a long stretch of sobriety in life.....resort back to the old....so thanks....and yes....I am making the choice today...to not drink.....thanks again...and hey...let's try to help each other.....would love to hear your story....one day at a time (YCHH...sorry..I just hate the slogans....even though they are soooo true and it's all we've got.....)

[Guitarista]

After 19 years sober, relapse!

A huge welcome to you Garage, and Ment!
Best wishes on your journey.

[Kimberley]

After 19 years sober, relapse!

Garagerat, just want to congratulate you on so much sober time. You've done brilliantly and that shows that you will do it again. It is hard when you slip and often you are really hard on yourself. Don't be! You can do it again!