Hello there everyone, I've been reading some of your stories and thought I would tell mine because I need a little support and advice.
I am 23 years old and live with my parents. I started drinking quite young in the usual way, but was just a Friday night drinker. At university alcohol had started to make me depressed so I quit for a while but started back on it again in my third year. When I had a bout of the blues over a weekend I started to drink spirits at night, necking a shot or two before going to bed to help me sleep. After moving back home I was doing okay, but in December I started to get insomnia sometimes- this wasn't depressed insomnia, just an inability to sleep worrying about work and suchlike. So I started to neck three shots before going to bed to knock me out. I promised myself this would only happen occasionally, but it became more and more frequent until I was doin it nightly. Then, of course, three shots isn't enough. One night I downed a pint of sherry to knock me out. I drink secretly from my parents, and my mum has discovered their liquor cabinet empty and found empty bottles hidden all over the house. Sometimes I would wake up in the night having not had alcohol and thought I would have a panic attack unless I drank, so I'd neck some alcohol. and feel like I was going to I consistently told myself that it wasn't a problem. My rule of not drinking before 8pm was my get out clause for any idea of addiction.
Last Friday I split up with my girlfriend. This was a devastating blow for me; we had only been together for 10 weeks, but I have known her all my life and I genuinely felt I was falling in love for her, feelings which obviously weren't reciprocated. I drank the night we split up, at home alone. I woke up the next morning and couldn't take the pain and necked a lot of vodka to get me back to sleep. That night I went drinking with friends and got so drunk I got beaten up. The next morning, I woke up and started drinking again, and got very drunk indeed that night. I could barely walk home and my mum had to come and find me. Every night since then I have gotten extremely drunk. I haven't done any of the freelance work I need to do cause I'm always hungover. I wake up early after not having proper sleep and desperately feel like a drink to make me sleep again, but I've managed to stay away from morning drinking since Wednesday.
It was examining the relationship and where I went wrong that I finally realised I have a problem. I often feel emotionally insecure in a relationship and shy, and I drink to get over this. As a result I engineer social situations where alcohol can be consumed, and then I go way too far because I find moderation very difficult where drink is concerned. We went on a trip to London with a few friends, and I had a few drinks and simply carried on drinking. I got so drunk I wasn't thinking straight and took some drugs, which really upset her. She certainly deserved better than that.
When she was explaining why we broke up she said something that really hit home (I had said why had she made this decision, because when we were out on the Sunday prior to breaking up she had said some things to me which were signs that the relationshion was strengthening rather than weakening) 'We don't really feel like a proper couple. Sometimes its good and we really feel close when we're at the pub and have had a few drinks.'
I am quite a quite, shy, retiring guy, and I am intelligent. When I'm sober. But my reputation among a lot of people is as a drunk.
Its been quite cathartic writing this out, and has also made me realise how much control alcohol has over my life at this point. I desperately want my life back on track and I've been to the doctor who is helping me cut down my drinking, and getting me a Community Alcohol Addiction Specialist to help me.
Thankyou for taking the time to read my story. I wish you all the best of luck in your personal battles with drink.
I am 23 years old and live with my parents. I started drinking quite young in the usual way, but was just a Friday night drinker. At university alcohol had started to make me depressed so I quit for a while but started back on it again in my third year. When I had a bout of the blues over a weekend I started to drink spirits at night, necking a shot or two before going to bed to help me sleep. After moving back home I was doing okay, but in December I started to get insomnia sometimes- this wasn't depressed insomnia, just an inability to sleep worrying about work and suchlike. So I started to neck three shots before going to bed to knock me out. I promised myself this would only happen occasionally, but it became more and more frequent until I was doin it nightly. Then, of course, three shots isn't enough. One night I downed a pint of sherry to knock me out. I drink secretly from my parents, and my mum has discovered their liquor cabinet empty and found empty bottles hidden all over the house. Sometimes I would wake up in the night having not had alcohol and thought I would have a panic attack unless I drank, so I'd neck some alcohol. and feel like I was going to I consistently told myself that it wasn't a problem. My rule of not drinking before 8pm was my get out clause for any idea of addiction.
Last Friday I split up with my girlfriend. This was a devastating blow for me; we had only been together for 10 weeks, but I have known her all my life and I genuinely felt I was falling in love for her, feelings which obviously weren't reciprocated. I drank the night we split up, at home alone. I woke up the next morning and couldn't take the pain and necked a lot of vodka to get me back to sleep. That night I went drinking with friends and got so drunk I got beaten up. The next morning, I woke up and started drinking again, and got very drunk indeed that night. I could barely walk home and my mum had to come and find me. Every night since then I have gotten extremely drunk. I haven't done any of the freelance work I need to do cause I'm always hungover. I wake up early after not having proper sleep and desperately feel like a drink to make me sleep again, but I've managed to stay away from morning drinking since Wednesday.
It was examining the relationship and where I went wrong that I finally realised I have a problem. I often feel emotionally insecure in a relationship and shy, and I drink to get over this. As a result I engineer social situations where alcohol can be consumed, and then I go way too far because I find moderation very difficult where drink is concerned. We went on a trip to London with a few friends, and I had a few drinks and simply carried on drinking. I got so drunk I wasn't thinking straight and took some drugs, which really upset her. She certainly deserved better than that.
When she was explaining why we broke up she said something that really hit home (I had said why had she made this decision, because when we were out on the Sunday prior to breaking up she had said some things to me which were signs that the relationshion was strengthening rather than weakening) 'We don't really feel like a proper couple. Sometimes its good and we really feel close when we're at the pub and have had a few drinks.'
I am quite a quite, shy, retiring guy, and I am intelligent. When I'm sober. But my reputation among a lot of people is as a drunk.
Its been quite cathartic writing this out, and has also made me realise how much control alcohol has over my life at this point. I desperately want my life back on track and I've been to the doctor who is helping me cut down my drinking, and getting me a Community Alcohol Addiction Specialist to help me.
Thankyou for taking the time to read my story. I wish you all the best of luck in your personal battles with drink.
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