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[Cinders]

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Cheech,

Good to see you again.

Never give up giving up.

Love,
Cindi

[Cheech66]

here I go again

Well I need to give this a try one more time!!?? I can not believe that it has been since nov 07 that i first started and went 6 mos sober!? Seems like a lifetime ago dang! I really dont know why i am choossing now to quit it is actually a horrible time to try but then again when is a good time?? Got a plan and monday is the quit day. My biggest concern is not the kids drivin me crazy (stay at home dad) I know the cravings will be tough but can deal with that (I hope) it is my wife? We have been drifting apart for years now even when I was sober it was no better. We have had counciling no help and now we have 3 kids all under the age of 5! I have to say this is what scares me the most about staying sober being in a relationship where we have just lost the desire to try and love one another?! I have to do it though I believe more than anything else that I must do this for me and me only but I also fear that if my wife does not get help (she has admitted she needs it) that big changes may be comin in my life!!?? little long but had to vent in prep for the big day it is reassuring that I can come here though we will see?? really scarred and sad folks!!!

[DiscoBunnie]

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Hey Cheech, welcome back (I am also a returnee after bouncing on/off here since 2005). When I first came here, I managed 52 days sober... I get how you feel. It can be a challenge having 3 kids all under the age of 5 and when the equation includes not connecting with your wife, well that definately presents an obstacle. However, even with all of that going on.... alcohol will only make what is bad;worse. Alcohol may help you "forget" for a moment but when the alcohol wears off and alcohol leaves you alone with your head banging, your stomach flip flopping and your self esteem, integrity and self respect in the toilet ~ and worst of all the GUILT ~ alcohol will not be there to pick you up, dust you off and tell you to keep going, instead alcohol will tell you to pick up another drink ~ you deserve it, you have so much stress in your life, things are not well in your marriage, you are the only one dealing with such pressures, no one else understands, go ahead pick up another drink "you deserve it". And if you pick up another drink, alcohol wins and the viscious cycle begins again until years have gone by and you wake up one day and say, " I need to stop" but by now, the kids are grown and live with distorted memories of their childhood and a dad who drank. And then my friend, there is NOTHING that can be done to change those memories. Yes Cheech, you have pressures in your life, but you are not alone.... the first step to helping yourself, your children, your marriage is to get to know alcohol for who alcohol truly is ~ the demon, the liar, the deceiver~ ..... Stay strong my friend, think things over, take a walk by yourself when you can, look into your childrens eyes, you are their hero ..... and welcome back =0)

[Cheech66]

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huh little suprised here??? I guess it has been a while since I have posted but thought I might get some responce? Well I will keep reading and update my status as I go. Tomm is the quit day will see how it goes hope you all are well wish me luck!

[mama bear]

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Cheech....
I am thinking of you.....I would try to get sober and get your head in a clear place and then decide what needs to be done........

[CyberianSunset]

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I hear you guys.

[Cheech66]

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yup starts today see how it goes mama bear and hola Cy ssst!!

[Grateful]

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Cheech-nothing like a little baby to help keep you on track....I know 1st hand as I have a beautiful newborn granddaughter. One day, one hour, one minute at a time - you can do this!!!!

[mama bear]

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PM if u need anything...You are a hero to me since you are a stay at home dad.....there is no way in hell my hubby could have done that....those babies need you....rememeber that
ps... r u nursing the baby??:H:H:H:H:H

there;s a visual!!!!

[Grateful]

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:what?: Too funny, Mama Bear!!!

[Cheech66]

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well going ok I am weening right now cause my al content daily was really high so alot less today and really feel like wont be to hard to go af when my plan date hits hope you all are well and for those struggling im with ya and those doing well i am happy for you and strive to be there with odat all i can do right now nite all!!

[K9Lover]

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Hi Cheech,
I am once again struggling too. I previously had 40+ AF days, then fell right off the ol wagon. But here I am again, glad to see you here too. Hang in there. We're here for you.

[Cheech66]

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K9Lover;819254 wrote: Hi Cheech,
I am once again struggling too. I previously had 40+ AF days, then fell right off the ol wagon. But here I am again, glad to see you here too. Hang in there. We're here for you.

me too k9

[Cheech66]

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Hola all hope u are well or well as can be. Wow what a summer!? I lost my father to Terminal Brain Cancer sept. 4th. I have not been successful with going af and my al intake is way up there once again! My dad got the intial diagnosis of a Gleoma back in summer of 07' and that is when my drinkin started again, after being af 10 mos. We knew his cancer would come back we just figured we had more time. Thankfully I guess he died within one week of his reoccurnce of the cancer at his home with my mother at his side! I was not there at the time of his death, guess that is the way he wanted it but it still stings, bieng I with him every step of the way in his battle with this cancer crap. With that being sadi and I am sure I could say much more, I am back here again and am in my own personal battle with the beast al. This time around I am not going threw this alone I am getting counceling and will be taken an antidepressent and perhaps somethin for the cravings. I did this before with none of those things and this time around I dont feel like I can do it on my own. Well I will keep u posted and ask for your support and as always will send mine and some of my wisdom along the way from my prior stint being af. Thank you in advance u all are such beautiful people u need to know that. P.S. sorry so wordy.

[Cheech66]

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wheres all my homies??