Hi everyone. I have been reading through the posts for a few months now and have been very impressed at how supportive everyone is and how positive!!
So I would like to share my story.
I am in my mid forties and have been drinking quite heavily for years but still managed to travel round the world, get great qualifications, make good friends etc. I met my husband when i was 40 and he had a hardcore drug problem which I managed to help him with and within 6 months he was clean. He never was a drinker but we would share a bottle or 2 of wine and as time went on he started drinking more. We also used to smoke some pot regularly. Anyway I got pregnant and during that time I didnt drink or smoke until after 3 months after the baby was born when i developed post natal depression. i took antidepressants for a year which helped but when my baby was 4 months old , my husband lost his job so I had to go back to work which was really hard for me because i knew i would only have one child and wanted to spend that baby time with him..
After I went back to work, I started drinking more. I would open the wine as soon as I got home because I was tired and then had to look after my baby who my husband would hand over to me cos he had had enough. We were both tired but I had done a full days work lecturing and being around people so needed (or thought I did) that taste of red to chill me down a bit....
I worked more hours so I could buy a house (my husband still didnt have a job) and my son went into daycare a few days a week (so he could look for a job!). I started drinking more, everyday. I was a full time worker, older mother to a toddler and i was the financial provider for everyone.. Finally, I could no longer pay the mortgage on just one wage.. these were the days where you could get a 100% mortgage!.. I started drinking more and smoking more because nothing else would release the stress. (so did my husband!)
So.. I sold the house and got a lucrative job in a foreign country that was 'dry'- no alcohol except if you drove to the border of a neighbouring country to get your 'quota". I thought great !!! this is really going to help with my drinking cos I wont be able to drink, sort of like enforced sobriety.
All was fine for the first few months, no more financial problems, and we did drink less. However living in a dry culture with nothing much to do and a very stressful working environment I started drinking more and more (being alcohol free was no deterrent.. it was actully very easy to get alcohol) And I found myself drinking vodka and gin cos it lasted longer than a bottle of wine and with the 'quota' system it became quantity rather than quality. My husband was bored started telling me you are drinking too much and you have to stop.. yet as soon as he dropped our son off at kindy he would come home and open his first beer!!
I realised 6 months ago, that I had a serious drinking problem and tried to do something about it, but I couldnt seem to.My husband, on the one hand was saying 'stop' yet when i would get home from work would pour me a large vodka? I was still the only financial provider so even through disgusting hangovers would still have to go to work.
Anyway, one daya few weeks ago, my husband dropped our son off at school .. came home (it was my day off).. opened a bottle of red - we had a couple of glasses and then he told me he was leaving because I was a drunk. he got into his car, sold it and had left the country 2 days later.. without a word to me or his son. And we havent heard from him since. just disappeared.
I have continued to drink heavily these past few weeks and now want to stop. I have few no family in this country as support and know now I have to get it together for my son who is just 4 and myself. I still have to work full time and deal with his confusion as well as my own grief. I know drinking isnt helping and today is the day I realise that I cant keep doing this to my body.My son needs me and Im not there for him when I drink - the dvd player is.
Thankfully, i have a long Xms holiday coming up when I can go back and see my friends and family for support but would like to have stopped by then. I am taking vitamin supplements but cant get the supplements recommended here.I am also seeing a counsellor so am starting to try and do the right things.. But as I write this I am drinking beer while my son is asleep on the couch....
Any advice I would love
thanks so much for reading
So I would like to share my story.
I am in my mid forties and have been drinking quite heavily for years but still managed to travel round the world, get great qualifications, make good friends etc. I met my husband when i was 40 and he had a hardcore drug problem which I managed to help him with and within 6 months he was clean. He never was a drinker but we would share a bottle or 2 of wine and as time went on he started drinking more. We also used to smoke some pot regularly. Anyway I got pregnant and during that time I didnt drink or smoke until after 3 months after the baby was born when i developed post natal depression. i took antidepressants for a year which helped but when my baby was 4 months old , my husband lost his job so I had to go back to work which was really hard for me because i knew i would only have one child and wanted to spend that baby time with him..
After I went back to work, I started drinking more. I would open the wine as soon as I got home because I was tired and then had to look after my baby who my husband would hand over to me cos he had had enough. We were both tired but I had done a full days work lecturing and being around people so needed (or thought I did) that taste of red to chill me down a bit....
I worked more hours so I could buy a house (my husband still didnt have a job) and my son went into daycare a few days a week (so he could look for a job!). I started drinking more, everyday. I was a full time worker, older mother to a toddler and i was the financial provider for everyone.. Finally, I could no longer pay the mortgage on just one wage.. these were the days where you could get a 100% mortgage!.. I started drinking more and smoking more because nothing else would release the stress. (so did my husband!)
So.. I sold the house and got a lucrative job in a foreign country that was 'dry'- no alcohol except if you drove to the border of a neighbouring country to get your 'quota". I thought great !!! this is really going to help with my drinking cos I wont be able to drink, sort of like enforced sobriety.
All was fine for the first few months, no more financial problems, and we did drink less. However living in a dry culture with nothing much to do and a very stressful working environment I started drinking more and more (being alcohol free was no deterrent.. it was actully very easy to get alcohol) And I found myself drinking vodka and gin cos it lasted longer than a bottle of wine and with the 'quota' system it became quantity rather than quality. My husband was bored started telling me you are drinking too much and you have to stop.. yet as soon as he dropped our son off at kindy he would come home and open his first beer!!
I realised 6 months ago, that I had a serious drinking problem and tried to do something about it, but I couldnt seem to.My husband, on the one hand was saying 'stop' yet when i would get home from work would pour me a large vodka? I was still the only financial provider so even through disgusting hangovers would still have to go to work.
Anyway, one daya few weeks ago, my husband dropped our son off at school .. came home (it was my day off).. opened a bottle of red - we had a couple of glasses and then he told me he was leaving because I was a drunk. he got into his car, sold it and had left the country 2 days later.. without a word to me or his son. And we havent heard from him since. just disappeared.
I have continued to drink heavily these past few weeks and now want to stop. I have few no family in this country as support and know now I have to get it together for my son who is just 4 and myself. I still have to work full time and deal with his confusion as well as my own grief. I know drinking isnt helping and today is the day I realise that I cant keep doing this to my body.My son needs me and Im not there for him when I drink - the dvd player is.
Thankfully, i have a long Xms holiday coming up when I can go back and see my friends and family for support but would like to have stopped by then. I am taking vitamin supplements but cant get the supplements recommended here.I am also seeing a counsellor so am starting to try and do the right things.. But as I write this I am drinking beer while my son is asleep on the couch....
Any advice I would love
thanks so much for reading
Comment