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[Time_To_Stop]

Hello,

I was here a few months ago and tried the taper method. I made it 30 days sober which was my goal and then decided to see if I could drink responsibly. To see if I could "reset" my alcoholism.

I lasted about two weeks and was right back to drinking between a half bottle and full bottle a day.

Two days sober now and feel okay considering. Had a pretty rough last month and that is why I am quitting and this time I don't have any illusions about being able to drink again.

It seems I am genetically unable to stop drinking once I start and will drink till I run out of booze or pass out.

So here I am again.

[Guitarista]

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Well done Time. Drinking in moderation if we've been a problem drinker before, is usually a dangerous waste of our time. We can only hope that we don't do too much damage, or indeed die, before we see sense.

Best wishes on your journey, and tool up. That is, have you read the 'toolbox' thread in 'monthly abstinence' section? Essential reading for you. Do you have a plan for today, and the next few day's/weeks? If not, read everything you can here, and get/keep yourself informed, and plan out your day...........G.

[Time_To_Stop]

I'm back...

Thanks Guitarista.

Yeah I'm beat again. I was once sober in my twenties for 6 years after being a very wild teen. 15 years later here I am. Dammit.

I actually don't feel all that bad other than wicked insomnia and I didn't have the severe withdrawal I had in June/July. I didn't taper this time but I was ready too if the symptoms got bad enough. I am contemplating going to an AA meeting in a half hour although I do not fully believe in the philosophy it might be a good idea to try and meet some sober friends because as it is I have exactly one.

My wife says she will join me on the wagon after New Years but we will see. She does not have a drinking problem though so I can't really blame her if she does not quit.

Anyway.

[startingover]

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Hi Time, good for you for jumping back on the wagon.
I have never been able to moderate my drinking either.
Stick around and keep us informed with your progress, I always find the support here to be very helpful.

[Time_To_Stop]

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Hi Startingover. Thanks. Yeah I just don't seem to be able to drink in moderation. The times I have cut myself off at 2 drinks I am white knuckling the rest of the evening and miserable.

Doesn't make sense. I crave absolute drunkeness and it is something that I can't handle or allow anymore. I did go to the meeting and in a way it was cathartic. I publically gave up and admitted that I can't handle booze like regualr people. It just won't work for me anymore.

[Time_To_Stop]

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Got 5 days today and have been going to meetings. It helps actually. Ran into a friend at one who I had no idea was sober. He has 4.5 years and was very supportive. Anyway still hanging in and it is getting better.

[startingover]

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Excellent Time, being sober really is the way to go (IMO) at least we have half a chance of dealing with stuff. I am with you on the moderation thing too. What is the point of 2 drinks?
Over time I have found that drinking thoughts dont consume all my waking hours. Yes we still have "stuff" to deal with but life is so much better without the devil on our shoulder egging us on to oblivion

[Raven.joy]

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It will get better.

[Doggygirl]

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Welcome back Time. I can relate to so much of what you described. I don't have an "off" switch either. And like you and starty both said, what's the point of two drinks anyway...that's just misery. My Big Attempt at "moderation" (ha) was a disaster - won't try that again.

I used to think AA was NOT NOT NOT for me, regardless of the fact that I had never darkened the doorstep. I finally went to a meeting last February and discovered it's more for me than I thought. Like you mentioned, I have really enjoyed making new sober friends. I have also been actively working the steps and feel that I am healing and growing as a person as a result. It's not for everyone, but I'm glad I finally gave it a try. MWO is terrific for 24X7 on-line support, and AA has become equally important to me for face to face support.

Anyway, strength to you on this journey! Not sure if you have checked out the Monthly Abstinence section. That's where the toolbox is located, and there is also a AF Daily thread for accountability, check in and friendship. There is also a weekly AA thread for lurking or posting if you want to check that out.

All the best!

DG

[Captain Morgan]

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I am trying again too, last time i lasted 3 months, then i lasted 2 months, then i lasted 1 month.

The first time i came here i was married, well alcohol ruined that for me because i couldnt control it.

When i went 3 months i felt great, was sleeping like a baby again, lost 44 lbs, why on Gods green earth do i go back. Weight gain, memory loss, doing stupid embarrasing things, now i lost my beautiful wife of 19 years and only get my kids 3 days a week.

Back to the drawing board, Not a huge fan of AA myself, its cool to share but all the 12 steps, all of the holding hands and saying at the end, "keep coming back", the spending 20 minutes reading what they believe and do at the start of the meeting, everyone saying there name and I'm an alcoholic, no shit you are, that is why we are there.

Thats why i struggle with AA, seems kind of stupid to me, but it is a place to find someone dealing with our problem.

BOL to you

Hold onto your wife, dont let booze take her from you buddy