I'm a mommy and a good wife

[Ursula]

:new::new::new:Hi!
I have been married to an amazing husband for over 6 years. From the time we met were meant for each other. I loved drinkinking, having wine, going to nice restaurants, etc. He did too, only that he never overdrank. I would always get drunk. He came from a family of non drinkers, alcohol was not really important. I came from a family were good wine or a good grapa was important but no one ever got drunk.

I went to college in Paris and I drank a lot over there, but because of my family history and background I just thouty it was college, problaby my mom did it too (she never did). My single years in the US I kept on drinking "socially" (doing my MBA), I lived alone and knew few people so for me "socially" meant talking to people on the phone even though I was alone at home.

I married mr. perfect and had two beautiful sons. I love my sons to death and they are the main reason i visited this website. I didnt dirnk when I was pregnant with my first son, but i was unable to breastfeed so I was able to resume drinking. After 9 months it started gradually, I even thought that i had become mature and learnt to drink. I didnt. Soon I started drinking a lot. Never everyday, never during the day. Always at night when the baby was sleeping. Always knowiung that my husband was around so thta he would wake up if he cried (I would be too passed up to hear him). He didnt understand how I would get so drunk if we would drink the same (for him it was a few drinks at night to release tension and to talk, and also to have some cigarettes) he didint know I always kept some hidden bottles to get me when i wanted to get.. I got sooooo sick of it, that i decied to get pregnant right away, only because i loved how i felt when i got pregnant with our first son. I did, and i loved the next 10 months of our life. I loved being pregnant again and gaining control of my life.

Now our new son is 13 months and I am desperate to get pregnant again because I love babies (but because i need to get sober) I know i can do it pregnant, i have proved it. I am an excelente mom. I work part time. I dedicate my afternoons to my boys doing things I know they love. I do not allow yelling in my house, I do not find excuses for my self for being hang over, I can be dyeing but I do activities for them. My life is my boys and my husband, the last one who by the way happens to love me, everyone thinks we are a beautiful and loving family. it is funny to say, but sooo many of friends keep on saying how much they envy us. We are a beautiful family. My husband is very successful, I work part time doing something I love (it doesnt make me much money but i dont really need it), we do soooo much together!!!. Unfurtunaly, I tried once to tell my husband i had a problem. he just said that i needed to learn to drink, that i was not 21 anymore and that I needed to change my choise of drinks beacuse obviouly wine wasnt working for me any more!!!. i know i have a problema but i come from a ver conservative family where an alcohol problem is not normal. i need to be a moderate drinker. I will buy all the cds, and do anything that it takes to get thete. Please I need some one to tell me this is possible. I have tried for the past 6 months writing my drinking etc, but i dont seem to be goo. But this site seems good. The holidays are here. I dont want remorse over the holidays, I want it to be all about the kids. I love my boys, I really do. and my husband!! You have not idea whatan amazing man he is. The boys and I are always first, he does everything for us, EVERYTHING. He just shose to believe I dont have a probrem and I need to resolve this by myself!! please help

[Lo0p]

I'm a mommy and a good wife

Welcome Ursula! :welcome: I sent you a private message.

[Ursula]

I'm a mommy and a good wife

How do i see it????

[Lo0p]

I'm a mommy and a good wife

I the box on the top right where it says 'Welcome, Ursula" click on "private messages"

[Ursula]

I'm a mommy and a good wife

Where????

I'm new here!!

[Lo0p]

I'm a mommy and a good wife

It looks like this on my screen:

[boozehag]

I'm a mommy and a good wife

Hi Ursula
Thanks for sharing your story. Sounds like you would have a really great life without AL affliction and you sure have lots of good reasons to get rid of the addiction. Like most things in life that we want to achieve you need a PLAN. MWO is a plan and might be just what you need. I know it may not seem like it right now but it is possible to change your life and the first step is coming here. For starters you should download the MWO book from the website and read it. I bet you will find it very helpful and enlightening. The main components of the MWO plan are medication, supplements, exercise and online support - you can mix and match to suit your circumstances. Believe me there is a way out and many have found it here. Best of luck and hope to see you posting again soon.
M

[KateH1]

I'm a mommy and a good wife

Hi Ursula and Welcome to My Way Out!

This is a wonderful place......many of us arrived her just like you.....scared, confused and most of all wanting to get a handle on our drinking problem. I too encourage you to download the book, My Way Out. It will help you to understand that you are not alone in this, not a terrible person....just one more person with a problem with alcohol. You will realize that there are many choices on how you design your plan to stop the madness.

Some people choose a medical prescription to help, others choose supplements, meditation, exercise, and a New Way of Thinking. I encourage you to read the threads, pay particular attention to those that have some long term sobriety, as they have found their way! They will also help you find Your Way!

Best Wishes!
Kate

[Ursula]

I'm a mommy and a good wife

Thank you all for your messages!! I re-read my message this morning and it sounds very arrogant! I didnt mean to sound it like that, I just meant that I am very greatful for my family and my life and i need to solve this problem!! I have read so many sad stories that kind of explain why some people drink, I dont havethat excuse!

Loop thank you so much for the message you sent me and the information!

By the way, has anyone tried hypnosis??? does it work??

[Lo0p]

I'm a mommy and a good wife

It doesn't sound arrogant. You sound hopeful, which is great!

[Doggygirl]

I'm a mommy and a good wife

Hi Ursula and :welcome:

I used the My Way Out program as described in the book, with only the exception of Topamax to get me started. I followed the supplementation, hypnosis, diet and exercise guidelines to a T. I really do believe that those things in combination really help, and that includes the hypnosis CD's. I still turn on the "Sleep Learning" subliminal CD sometimes. LOL, I don't know what it's saying but it always seems to have me waking up in a good mood!

I strongly suggest starting with the My Way Out book. You can download it from the Health Store - you don't even have to wait for it in the mail.

You sound like you have a great family and I applaud you for admitting your problem and looking to do something about it before you start losing important pieces of your life.

Strength and hope,

DG

[Ursula]

I'm a mommy and a good wife

Thank you Doggybgirl!! I appreciate your comment! I really do. I'll try everything. I will. I have too. I dont want to ruin my life. Im scared aboutadmiting anything, I did to you (which was a hugh step) but I dont say it to any one that sees my face!!!!!!!!. Thank you so much for understanding. You have no idea how good it feels to talk about it. My husband is around, which means I have to go.......... Thank you SO MUCH!!!!!

[Sarasmiles]

I'm a mommy and a good wife

Welcome, Ursula!

Your story was very familiar to me, especially the part about staying sober while pregnant. I too found that those were wonderful months. My three boys are incredibly precious to me, and have been since the moment I knew I was carrying each of them. I understand the feeling of wanting to get pregnant so that you'll have that extra push to stay sober. But I think you can do it without pregnancy! Each child is an incredible blessing, of course, but for me anyway, each one added not only joy but additional stress and exhaustion. How about working on the sobriety first, and thinking about another pregnancy once you really feel you've got a handle on it? If it helps, you could even think of sobriety as a step toward pregnancy...Like taking prenatal vitamins and eating well before getting pregnant, so that your body is in wonderful health when the pregnancy begins.

I sometimes play a little mental game, of trying to treat myself as well as I would an unborn child I was carrying, or an infant I was responsible for. It may sound weird, but I kind of pretend in my mind that I'm nurturing a new life...But of course, it's my own life. You sound like a very nurturing person. How about directing some of that towards yourself?

I think the holidays with children provide a great opportunity and motivation to be sober. I know you are aiming for moderation as a goal, and there are others here who will help support you with that. I've been working on it myself, although I must say the best, happiest times I have are the stretches I do AF (alcohol free). Whatever your ultimate goal, you might consider going AF for the month of December. I'd do it with you, as would a lot of other people here. I've decided it would be a really good feeling to have my best energy, my happiest moods, my most patient self, available for the Christmas season. That way I can focus on the decorating, the shopping, the projects with kids and the joys of the season, instead of on wishing I hadn't had those drinks the night before, or wondering whether or not I can or should or will drink again soon. Let us know if you want to do an AF December. Or check out the Mod Squad thread if you want to start with cutting way back, instead of abstaining.

Finally, I think the cds are helpful, and so are nutritional supplements. You'll find a lot of information and advice here about which supps are the most useful, and different approaches work for different people. It seems to me that the most popular supplement, and the one to start with, is L-Glutamine. You can get it at any vitamin store, and probably any drug store or health food store. For many of us, it has really helped to decrease cravings. It starts working quickly.

Best wishes to you, and I hope we'll see a lot more of you!
Sara

[gyco]

I'm a mommy and a good wife

hi ursala,wow interesting story,one of the things with having a problem with alchohol or drugs,most people around you dont undrstand , till its to late,changing what you drink mt make a diference for a while,but most of us end up in the same boat,ive never read the my way out book yet,bit eventually i will,im surprised doggy never told u to read the aa book,as harsh as this mt sound reading the book does not make you alchoholic,it is on line,free,under aa book,read the 1st 164 pages then the doctors story and if you feel like it even read some of the stories,page 295 the house wife who drank at home,i do wish you well, gyco

[Ursula]

I'm a mommy and a good wife

Thank you again for your posts.

Sarasmiles, I ordered the cds and some supplements online. I'll let you know howthat works for me. I'm thinking about the AF December, although withy the family around, al the events, it seems like a scary month to start. I dont want to feel like a failure after it! You are absolutley right about feeling great for the holiday seasons..... I'll think about it because it does sound like a plan! I drank two days ago, didnt yestarday and im not planning on drinking tonigt either. I'll see how it goes. Im very excited about receiving my package and starting the program.....

Gyco, thank you too. I've actually read som info on AA, but as you said it, it sounds pretty harsh (and real!!!). Im really hoping that this moderation program works, as I see it as a real last chance for me to get control over this problem, if this doesnt work after putting a lot of effort, I guess the problem is worse than I think and the measurements would need to be more extreme (never drinking again) and that to me is incredibly scary, not the not drinking again, but the knowing you have a real problem!!!

Thank you all!!!!!