I only found this site today, I had heard of it but never logged on. Anyway my story is simple. Im 45 years old and have abused alcohol probaly since the first time I ever drank it. Like many here I drank to get drunk. I dont know why because Im a pretty easy going person and have no deepseated problems. Maybe it had a lot to do with living in Ireland, we drink at every occasion known to man and then some. Im happily married for 16 years and have one 13 year old daughter. My husband never knew the real extent of my drinking because I hid it. I hid it in toilet cisterns, under the seat of the car, in the laundry basket, under the plants in the garden, you name it I hid it there.
My childhood was a bit of a mix match. I grew up in the country to backward parents. They should never really have had kids because they werent capable of rearing them. We never had santa visit, we were never sent to the doctor if we were sick, the neighbours gave us clothes, we shared two pairs of shoes between my mother and my sister, washing or baths were something completly foreign, and I could go on and on but at the end of the day I got out of there and moved to a town working and seemed to leave it all behind and had a normal life.
To make a long story short I started to be afraid of alcohol about 5 years ago. I knew what I was doing was not normal. I would wake up feeling wretched, guilty and full of anxiety. I would pass out at night and wake with a jolt a couple of hours later and lie staring at the ceiling for hours wondering what the hell I was doing with my life. I was going to destroy my marraige and ruin my daughters childhood. I read Alan Carrs book and followed his instructions and had my last drink on a Saturday evening with tears streaming down my face. That was in June 2007 and I havent drank since. To say that my life has changed doesnt cover it. Im free of a prison of my own making. I sleep the sleep of the dead.I can look at myself in the mirror and not feel ashamed. The first year had its ups and downs, good days and bad days. The bad days became less and less. This Christmas was my third alcohol free and I actually spent quite a bit of it in the pub with friends and family and was quite comfortable and had a great time that is untill folk started talking nonsence when they were drunk. I wouldnt go back to where I was for all the tea in China.Im a member of another online group WQD and I owe my life to the people I met there. I still visit there a few times a week.
Looking forward to getting to know a few people over here too. I notice there are quite a few from Ireland.
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