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[tawnywitch]

I think it's time I wrote my story for myself,I need to see it in writing, My liking for mind altering substances started when I was about 7, I hated school, was teased and bullied, I wasnt wanted by my parent's I was a mistake, they had a daughter 7 year's older than me, and had had a much wanted son who died soon after birth, then year's later I arrived, unplanned ,unwanted and definitely not a boy,so instead of trying to stop the bullying my mother got stuff from the doctor's to calm me down, make me sleep, I loved it, it made me feel warm and safe and loved, as I got older, about 10-11 I was allowed to drink wine on Sunday's, drink's at xmas, again I loved the feeling it gave me, when I was 14 I discovered real drug's, for a while I was happy with drink and dope, but the acid came my way and some week's I took it everyday, I escaped from life ,it was wonderful,my parent's divorced then and it wasn't nice, once again I was prescribed tranq's from the doctor, but they were'nt enough so I found a doctor who got me black market drug's, as well as drink, dope and acid, some how I managed to find a lovely guy who supported me then he found cocaine and changed , I gave him the ultimatum, me or coke, he chose coke,I went back to drug's big time, then again I found someone, someone I am still with today,I gave up all the drug's and just drank the same amount as everyone else, I had my 6 gorgeous children,not without some heartbreak, 2 miscarriages and a son with Down's, but still I didn't drink, then when my life was perfect, I started, 10 year's ago and started sleeping pills, painkiller's on prescription and drinking-a lot, so here I am , after the past few day's here at MWO I feel ready to stop and I know that with the support of friend's I have made here I will, maybe not right now but soon, anyway thank you for listening, I needed to do this and I'm glad I have.

[DeeBee]

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Thank you for sharing your story with us Tawny.
I hope you find your way out with the love and support of your friends here -- you CAN do it!!

[Chillgirl]

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Hi Tawny
I hope you feel better after getting that out there... i find posting on here is incredible therapy for me.
You have already won a lot of battles in your life and this one wont be any different... you can do this!

Try putting a plan together for the times when you are most likely to drink and make sure you are distracted or doing something else, come on here into the chat room.

[lodestar]

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Dearest tawny, thank you for sharing your story. You are a lovely person, always willing to send "love and hugs" to others. Wishing you much success with finding your way out. Make a plan and go for it!

[jessie]

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Hi Tawny, thanks for sharing. I'm right beside you if you need encouragement - we can do this.

[leaveinsilence]

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Tawny I'm glad you feel better for writing it down and getting it all out..:l

You can do this you know, just take it one day at a time and stay focussed, if it gets hard just remember you did it yesterday you can do it today.. you know where I am if you want anything just PM me, I'm right with you.. you can get through this:l

[MauMcL]

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Tawnywitch, that was no easy childhood. I really feel for you. Lots of pain there. I'm proud of you for battling those demons and your goal of a sober and drug free future...Keep moving in that direction. We've got your back. Peace my friend!

[Grateful]

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Thank you for posting your brave story. You've come a long way! What an inspiration you are!

[Doggygirl]

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Hi Tawny. Thank you for sharing your story. I think it helps us all so much to get to know each other better. My heart goes out to you for the things you have had to suffer.

One thing is certain. No matter what our circumstances in life, it is only made worse by having alcohol and drugs in it.

Strength and hope to you on your journey to sobriety. It's a good place.

DG

[KateH1]

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Tawny/Twitch.....You are a very special lady and I appreciate you! I am happy that you are part of the mwo family!

Best Wishes!
xx Kate

[Kimberley]

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Wow TW, I never knew your story before but do know how hard you have struggled as we all have and how much you are trying now. It is difficult to break away from something which once comforted - and realise now that it mostly only hurts. I wish you luck with it and if ever you need support, you will get it here.

[tlrgs]

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thankx for sharing TWITCH .. thats the key talk and let the past go and keep moving forward

[cuckoosnest83]

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Tawny/Twitch, thank you so much for opening up and sharing a part of you. It is cathartic when you can share openly with others. I'm glad you found this site.