Gumdrop's Story

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Gumdrop's Story

Gumdrops;797344 wrote:

I've made a complete mess of my life and now have to deal with the consequences. If I think on it too long, it makes me want to drink again and hide away, but that CANNOT be an option for me now.

Hello Gumdrops and welcome, I am glad you posted. You will find nothing but support and understanding from us. Dont look back and dwell in the past, we have all made mistakes, some of them monumental but you have to look forward now and build a better life for you and your family. You say you want to stop and you CAN. I wish you all the best.
Keep safe
KTAB

[6Katz]

Gumdrop's Story

Gumdrops - your post was so brave! I just came to this site too, very recently, and I can tell you that there are some very supportive and caring people here. Wishing you all the best and keep us posted!

[Gumdrops]

Gumdrop's Story

Well, all, I slipped up big time and have been drinking behind my husband's back all weekend. I feel like a total loser at this point.

They postponed my new job until next week due to the weather (TONS of snow and ice!!), and I'm very disappointed. I REALLY need something to get my mind off alcohol.

Please, I need some encouragement.....

[BPleasant]

Gumdrop's Story

Hey... tomorrow is another chance. Stay sane. I hope your job works out and that you like it.
You aren't a loser for drinking. You will do more than drink. You do do more than drink.

[Gumdrops]

Gumdrop's Story

I feel like complete sh*t, but I deserve it for drinking again. I've got to detox at home and I'm shaking like a leaf. I can't stop puking my guts out. In one week, I start my job and I'm scared to death I'll screw it up. I haven't eaten in nearly 3 days. I can feel that my potassium is low because my legs are cramping. It got so bad last spring that I became paralyzed and broke my leg trying to walk. And yet, I still keep drinking.

My family has given up on me. And if my husband finds out I've been drinking again, he'll leave me.

[fluff]

Gumdrop's Story

Hi Gumdrop- Just make today-Feb. 1st, your day to quit- and post in One DAy at A Time-ODAT -or other quit threads-there are lots of them-it sort of makes you accountable for yourself. Please-do this for yourself-you're starting a job soon, and you want to feel and look good!-Remember-just take it a day at a time...
Good-luck!
Luv, Fluff

[BPleasant]

Gumdrop's Story

Oh Gumdrops... Your post makes me very sad. Talk to us about your job. Do you have some vitamins in the house? Vitamin B? Or do you have any bananas? Try to slowly take in a banana...

[Gumdrops]

Gumdrop's Story

Nothing in the house, no vitamins, no bananas. My husband removed everything.

I'm scared once I start my job that I'll steal insulin as a back up measure. I'm going downhill. Maybe I should check myself into the hospital to be detoxed?

[BPleasant]

Gumdrop's Story

If you are fearful for yourself do it. I do think that you may want some company atleast. Why did your husband take everything out of the house? Is your new job in a hospital? I don't understand the insulin part... what would that do for you?
Can you get on chat?

[Gumdrops]

Gumdrop's Story

Because he's scared I'll commit suicide.

Insulin is an easy way to die if you have enough.

I don't intend to.

[BPleasant]

Gumdrop's Story

You need food in the house. made me laugh a bit, death by banana, lol, How are you doing?

[crown86]

Gumdrop's Story

Gum drops

We cant change the past and we don't own the future all we have is the now..just get back on the horse..I myself made several attempts before it stuck...I am sure a lot of folks have..It seems you want to quit..so you F-ed up SO WHAT..today is a new day...I know the damn irational guilt that comes with drinking and then I would end up drinking more over it...the only way to make the cycle stop is to stop it...If it is detox and you feel thats the way..do it.. My guess would be your husband would be supportive in ANYTHING that helped get his wife back.

My prayers are with you

Good Luck

[Gumdrops]

Gumdrop's Story

The withdrawals were so terrible this morning, they woke me up at 3am. I have a bottle hidden outside and thought it would be best to have a couple of drinks to stave off the shakes and hallucinations. But they made me sick to my stomach and I've been vomiting all day. I went back to bed and faked being asleep until my husband left for work.

I'm SOOOOO sick of all this lying and hiding. I have until 2/7/10 to get my act together. Wish me luck!! I WILL get better and be rid of this addiction!!!

[BPleasant]

Gumdrop's Story

Good Luck... Gumdrop, have you tried anything the program suggests to try? L-Glut or Kudzu, making a plan... Yogurt Kefir yogurt and tums might help settle your stomach some...

How did the rest of your day go?

[Gumdrops]

Gumdrop's Story

Tomorrow's the big day! I'm scared to death because I'm in withdrawal....shaking, rapid heartbeat, sweating like a pig. I'm going to play off like I have a stomach virus and try to make it through the day. Wish me luck!