My Journey
TakeHeart - stick with it, you need to believe you're worth this. If nothing else do it for your ideas, your creative side it sounds like you want to feed.
I hear a real desperation in your writing, especially the thoughts of suicide. And then you mention your Aunt's suicide. Please reach out for help if you need it and do it now while you have the strength.
If you've followed the Bac thread closely you'll know titrating up too quickly causes debilitating fatigue. Have you been pushing the schedule - your own personal schedule that your body's been telling you, not the published schedule? Given your work load you might want to back off even if you don't feel like you're pushing it. Depression and fatigue are not a great combination, and chronic fatigue can lead to depression even if there's nothing else going on. You could also try a PC/DMAE stack for mental alertness. It got me through mild fatigue on Bac.
But more than anything, hang in there.
TakeHeart - stick with it, you need to believe you're worth this. If nothing else do it for your ideas, your creative side it sounds like you want to feed.
I hear a real desperation in your writing, especially the thoughts of suicide. And then you mention your Aunt's suicide. Please reach out for help if you need it and do it now while you have the strength.
If you've followed the Bac thread closely you'll know titrating up too quickly causes debilitating fatigue. Have you been pushing the schedule - your own personal schedule that your body's been telling you, not the published schedule? Given your work load you might want to back off even if you don't feel like you're pushing it. Depression and fatigue are not a great combination, and chronic fatigue can lead to depression even if there's nothing else going on. You could also try a PC/DMAE stack for mental alertness. It got me through mild fatigue on Bac.
But more than anything, hang in there.
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