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Last year in March my Mother who was also my best friend was killed by her boyfriend and the day before her funeral I found out my husband was cheating on me. Through all of this I was fighting a foreclosure on my home. I remember the day very clearly a few weeks after the funeral. I was driving by the liquor store and I stopped. I took that bottle home and I felt so good to have the pain dulled. So good that a few nights a weeks turned into every night of the week. I was hurt angry and basically killing myself. Even after I dealt with the pain of losing my Mother and saving my home and being overjoyed that I saved it. By then it was too late. I would try to stop drinking because I didn't have any pain that I knew of anymore but my body had already turned on me, it craved it and when I would stop drinking for more then 8 hours I would get sick (withdrawal)
Last week I took a long look at myself and I was just tired I knew I didn't want to see me turn 30 next month like this. I have a daughter to live for and a marriage that needs lots of work. I went to my Doctor and I told the truth and I cried and told more of the truth that I was hiding from everybody even myself at times. He came to my home the next morning to start the detox in private because he knew I would not agree to going to any inpatient anything because of course I thought "I'm not one of those people" *yeah right lol
The next two days were ok I was on med's to help with it. I had a nurse who watched me until Friday and over the weekend my Husband watched me. Now I've been taking campral for the cravings and reading your stories and I have a week AF today :-) I'm feeling much better.
The last 8- 10 months has truly been a blur I'm praying I never get like that again..
Thank you for letting me share :- )
Last year in March my Mother who was also my best friend was killed by her boyfriend and the day before her funeral I found out my husband was cheating on me. Through all of this I was fighting a foreclosure on my home. I remember the day very clearly a few weeks after the funeral. I was driving by the liquor store and I stopped. I took that bottle home and I felt so good to have the pain dulled. So good that a few nights a weeks turned into every night of the week. I was hurt angry and basically killing myself. Even after I dealt with the pain of losing my Mother and saving my home and being overjoyed that I saved it. By then it was too late. I would try to stop drinking because I didn't have any pain that I knew of anymore but my body had already turned on me, it craved it and when I would stop drinking for more then 8 hours I would get sick (withdrawal)
Last week I took a long look at myself and I was just tired I knew I didn't want to see me turn 30 next month like this. I have a daughter to live for and a marriage that needs lots of work. I went to my Doctor and I told the truth and I cried and told more of the truth that I was hiding from everybody even myself at times. He came to my home the next morning to start the detox in private because he knew I would not agree to going to any inpatient anything because of course I thought "I'm not one of those people" *yeah right lol
The next two days were ok I was on med's to help with it. I had a nurse who watched me until Friday and over the weekend my Husband watched me. Now I've been taking campral for the cravings and reading your stories and I have a week AF today :-) I'm feeling much better.
The last 8- 10 months has truly been a blur I'm praying I never get like that again..
Thank you for letting me share :- )
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