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    #1

    struggling

    Hi everyone

    I am not doing so well. I bought the book and the program. Read the book and intend to read it again. My Dr. refused to prescribe topamax, so I ordered it online from India. Not sure if/when I'll get it, but I plan on starting the entire program at that time. In the meantime I am drinking like a fish. I hate the way it makes me feel. I feel like I can't make it through the day without 2-3 naps. However, I still love the burning in my tummy that it gives me. I still love the invincible feeling I get.(aside from all the napping). I feel like a failure. I feel stupid and angry and scared. I take Effexor and am worried about the conflicts with Topamax. Am I looking for excuses? In any case, fear and failure are constant companions. I just wish I could be like all of you....
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    #2
    struggling

    "I feel like a failure. I feel stupid and angry and scared. I take Effexor and am worried about the conflicts with Topamax. Am I looking for excuses? In any case, fear and failure are constant companions. I just wish I could be like all of you...."

    I don't know about the drug interactions. I have read from a few people that they believe the antidepressants they were on intensified the alcohol. It would be a good thing to get as educated as you can before mixing alcohol with effexor and with the Topamax...
    Wishing to be like who? All of who? There is always going to be someone that drinks less than you and has a problem and there is always going to be someone that drinks more than you and has a problem. I have read quite a bit here and the general or most common theme is , start the go alcohol free, feel good about being alcohol free and then oopppss, forgot that I can not drink, it sucks to drink and then back to trying to be alcohol free.
    How much are you drinking? Have you ever detoxed before?

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      #3
      struggling

      Hi and welcome Cam!

      I just wish I could be like all of you....
      You are just like us which is why you are here -- stick around, there is loads of support and understanding here. I'm sorry your Doc is not understanding or supportive -- is it not an option to "shop around" for another Doctor who is?
      "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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        #4
        struggling

        Can't shop around in Canada. Well, maybe I could, but I really like my Doc and feel she just hasn't been able to access the research done. Maybe she does not feel I have a problem....I don't know. I'm not the "typical" alcoholic. (I know there is no "typical", but I imagine she thinks there is...)
        As for Effexor and Booze, I have been takingthem together for a long time. Perhaps it intensifies the effect, but I can't let go of one or the other. I just want to stop, but can't imagine a day without it!!! How will I get everything done? How will I be smiling and happy and able to do everything I am supposed to do to be a great mom and wife? I can't do it without help. I feel desperate.

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          #5
          struggling

          The longest I have quit drinking is 2 weeks. Does this qualify as detox?

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            #6
            struggling

            Hi there Cam.
            If you stop can stop drinking for 2 weeks that will technically mean you are detoxed. Then the work begins for you to begin to create the life you want. To be a great mum and wife. BUT if your levels of drinking are extremely high, it could be dangerous for you to stop without help.
            Can you get some help at all?
            Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
            Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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              #7
              struggling

              Hi Cam

              I can't comment on the detox part - I have not been able to string more than 2 AF days in over 15 years and I am new here but it seems to me the best thing to do is keep coming back daily and gather as much support as you can, I have read alot of posts and I have never seen anyone comment about being a failure even if you are still drinking. Take care and good luck
              Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

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                #8
                struggling

                Hi Cam and welcome. IMO the only way to fail is to give up the fight and just let AL take your life one way or the other.

                Is it possible your doc might have had concerns about Topa / Effexor interaction? In any case, there are many of us here who have stopped without Topa. Many stop with no prescription meds. Others stop with different meds. So if Topa doesn't work out, don't stop there.

                I look back on my drinking days and think "how on earth did I ever get anything done?" Your perspective on the "getting through the day" stuff will probably change with sobriety.

                All the best,

                DG
                Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                One day at a time.

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                  #9
                  struggling

                  The worse it has been the better it feels when you get dry..
                  I am blessed with love joy and sobriety.

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