my story.

[xaphan]

I'm new here. I'll tell you a little about my history w/drinking. I've been without a drink for 142 days now after 15 years of heavy drinking w/the last 2 drunk from the moment I woke up until I passed out at night. I would reach for the gin bottle before the alarm went off to stop the shakes. I always had a pint in my pocket. I did two stints in detox and on my final relapse, blacked out and ended up in the hospital not knowing how I got there and with a broken foot. I have no idea how I broke my foot. I've been attending AA meetings regularly, although many of the tenets of the program contradict my personal philosophy-atheist. There are parts of the program that I have no problems with (it would, for example, probably be a good idea to "clean house" after 15 years of boozing.) and the knowledge that others in the rooms have experienced the ups and downs of early sobriety and understand what I am going through both mentally and physically. I have been taking Campral for cravings and have found this to be effective. I had asked doctors about baclofen prior to my being prescribed Campral, yet none of them had any information about it. My aim is, for now, complete abstinence for at least one year. Currently, I have no insurance and cannot afford the ridiculous price of Campral and am not secure enough in my sobriety that, once I run out and the cravings return, I won't drink. I recently discovered this program/forum and look forward to informing myself further. I do have many questions and will probably find many of them answered as I delve into this site. One question that I do have (and I know that this is not a forum for medical advice and that is not what I am seeking-I am merely asking about experiences w/this program) is whether people have used it merely short term in early sobriety in conjunction w/AA, therapy or another type of program or whether they have used it to maintain long term sobriety/abstinence. Thanks in advance for your responses.

xaph.

[dancelot]

my story.

Hi Xaphan, welcome!

My experience here: I came here the day I knew I had to do something about my drinking. Part of the reason was it talked about "moderation". I'm sure it was the alcoholic in me holding onto that last ditch hope I could somehow still drink. The other part of me feared I could not stop, and thought if I could do damage control by drinking less, it was better than doing nothing. I also liked the holistic approach, and my mom was into natural healing methods, so I'm very comfortable with that.

I did go ahead with the recommended 30 days AF (something I didn't honestly look forward to, or even believe possible). I also honestly listened to other peoples stories, which did convince me I was definitely better off AF for good.

I got sober here, used the supplements, tools, and any wise advice from the successfully AF people. I did not use any drugs, but I was open to them, or anything that would work. I used the supplements L-Glutamine and kudzu, made sure I ate heathy, exercised, kept bottles and bottles of flavored sparkling water available as a substitute for "drinking time".

I did really well, though around Christmas I began feeling close to relapsing. My last relapse was 8 years before, so it's not like I just jump back on the wagon. If I went another 8 years drinking I probably wouldn't be alive. I started AA in January, thanks to some people here who are also involved in it, and find it's definitely gotten my head in a much better place. In my group there is a guy who was a hardcore atheist coming in. His advice to newcomers is, "take what you need and leave the rest" - that is, don't even worry about the higher power, just do the work, show up. Basically don't throw away the baby with the bathwater. I see AA as kind of group therapy. A lot of the steps and such are about letting go of old patterns. It's really the same thing any type of good therapy, self help, whatever does. They are good rules to live by in general. Some people use the program as the higher power, not as something that's worshipped, but sort of as a principle.

You will find many varied methods at MWO which is one of it's strongpoints. I still come here every day. I am a big believer in whatever works. It may be different for each individual. And I also take bits and pieces from anywhere I find something that works. What I do on my own is stay 100% committed to my sobriety.