hello. i'm here because i don't believe in AA but i need serious help/support. i'm 23 and i've been an alcoholic for just three years yet the damage it's already done to my body and my life has been immense.
i grew up as a lonely child. my parents didn't drink. we never had alcohol in our house. my first drink was at sixteen. a boy from school got me drunk and took advantage of me. the rest of my high school career i didn't have much interest in drinking though i did smoke a lot of weed and experimented with many other drugs.
i started dating a boy who my family liked very much when i was eighteen. he was an alcoholic and i still didn't have much interest in drinking at the time. he cheated on me a lot and we fought all the time. he would get drunk and beat me. one night i needed stitches and he was arrested for domestic abuse. my family wouldn't talk to me because they felt that i ruined his life. the few close girlfriends that i did have didn't want to hang out with me because they all had boyfriends and were to busy to hang out with a single loser such as myself.
i started dating a different man shortly after i broke up with my first boyfriend. he cheated on me with underage girls. after yet another failed relationship something in me changed. i was convinced no one including my own family would ever love me. i felt so tired. so beaten down that something in me just snapped.
i met a boy from high school at a party and we became instant best friends. however, he is an alcoholic. i began hanging around many other alcoholics. some of them wont admit they're alcoholic but they are. i started living in this world where people did everything drunk. i live in wisconsin and some might say that it's part of the lifestyle here. we would wake up and start drinking. drinking during the day and the night time too. i felt like alcohol was just what i needed to not feel.
during this time i met the only man who ever truly loved me. that relationship failed because of my drinking. alcohol was love to me.
i drink for every reason there is to drink. i drink because i'm happy or i'm sad. i drink to not feel. i drink to feel close to other people. i drink because i'm shy. i drink because i like the person i am better when i'm drunk. i drink because everyone else is always drinking. and that's why its so hard for me to stop.
my family doesn't even realize what an alcoholic i am.
i only drink booze. and when i drink, i drink a lot. i once drank nearly a bottle of gin every day for nine months straight. the day that i stopped i had my first alcohol withdrawal. the alcohol withdrawals were so severe that i started having hallucinations. i heard voices. i had my first real panic attack and was so scared that i went to the hospital. i didn't even know at the time that you could have alcohol withdrawals. i never had anxiety before that and now i have anxiety all the time. i feel like something in me died that day.
i need help but i don't know how i'm going to get it. i go to school full time and drinking is starting to take it's toll on that. to live in wisconsin and not drink is too live a very lonely and isolated life. it's easy for me to not drink when i'm alone. but hanging out with people always involves drinking. they know that i'm trying hard to stop and they don't care. they throw drinks in my face like it's funny. i just don't know what to do
i grew up as a lonely child. my parents didn't drink. we never had alcohol in our house. my first drink was at sixteen. a boy from school got me drunk and took advantage of me. the rest of my high school career i didn't have much interest in drinking though i did smoke a lot of weed and experimented with many other drugs.
i started dating a boy who my family liked very much when i was eighteen. he was an alcoholic and i still didn't have much interest in drinking at the time. he cheated on me a lot and we fought all the time. he would get drunk and beat me. one night i needed stitches and he was arrested for domestic abuse. my family wouldn't talk to me because they felt that i ruined his life. the few close girlfriends that i did have didn't want to hang out with me because they all had boyfriends and were to busy to hang out with a single loser such as myself.
i started dating a different man shortly after i broke up with my first boyfriend. he cheated on me with underage girls. after yet another failed relationship something in me changed. i was convinced no one including my own family would ever love me. i felt so tired. so beaten down that something in me just snapped.
i met a boy from high school at a party and we became instant best friends. however, he is an alcoholic. i began hanging around many other alcoholics. some of them wont admit they're alcoholic but they are. i started living in this world where people did everything drunk. i live in wisconsin and some might say that it's part of the lifestyle here. we would wake up and start drinking. drinking during the day and the night time too. i felt like alcohol was just what i needed to not feel.
during this time i met the only man who ever truly loved me. that relationship failed because of my drinking. alcohol was love to me.
i drink for every reason there is to drink. i drink because i'm happy or i'm sad. i drink to not feel. i drink to feel close to other people. i drink because i'm shy. i drink because i like the person i am better when i'm drunk. i drink because everyone else is always drinking. and that's why its so hard for me to stop.
my family doesn't even realize what an alcoholic i am.
i only drink booze. and when i drink, i drink a lot. i once drank nearly a bottle of gin every day for nine months straight. the day that i stopped i had my first alcohol withdrawal. the alcohol withdrawals were so severe that i started having hallucinations. i heard voices. i had my first real panic attack and was so scared that i went to the hospital. i didn't even know at the time that you could have alcohol withdrawals. i never had anxiety before that and now i have anxiety all the time. i feel like something in me died that day.
i need help but i don't know how i'm going to get it. i go to school full time and drinking is starting to take it's toll on that. to live in wisconsin and not drink is too live a very lonely and isolated life. it's easy for me to not drink when i'm alone. but hanging out with people always involves drinking. they know that i'm trying hard to stop and they don't care. they throw drinks in my face like it's funny. i just don't know what to do
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake,
Comment