Hopeful

[4MyHealth]

Hopeful

So I did make it through day 5. The scale was up today though! Ugh! It is so annoying to be cutting out huge amounts of calories by cutting out alcohol and not see the weight fall off. I'm hoping it was sodium as I did have some high sodium meals yesterday. Shouldn't complain, all-in-all I am down 3 lbs in less than a week. Plus I haven't had a drink.
Tonight: the real test. Dinner out with my husband (our 18th anniv). Usually involves martinis and more. I think I would've had more resolve had I passed that magic 0.0 mark on the scale rather than having gained 1.0 lbs.! ...Will she make it with simply Pelligrino? ...Stay tuned for more.

[4MyHealth]

Hopeful

Okay, one more day down. My son had baseball until 7:30, which really helped. I won't say it was easy though. It was Saturday and that usually means wine for me. My husband and I were supposed to celebrate our 18th anniversary, but he had to do some work so we decided to postpone it until next weekend. ...so there was no temptation at a restaurant.

[4MyHealth]

Hopeful

Didn't make it through day 7. Self sabotage maybe. I do this with diets too. Get close to my next goal and blow it. Had wine with my anniversary dinner.
Day 1. Day 1 of Atkins induction too.

[4MyHealth]

Hopeful

Oh good grief! Here I am again. Day 2. I am up to 75 mg. on Topamax. Had to titrate down to 25mg because I didn't order enough and was waiting for more. Will go up to 100mg on Sunday. Had been "drinking through" it. No cravings, just the habitual side of it. Will now try to go 14 days AF and then push on through to 30. The 14 days is again the whole Atkins induction thing.
I've been reading the TSM threads and the Nal info and that really sounds like the thing for me. The idea of taking a pill, having a glass or 2 of wine and then stopping sounds idyllic.
The thing I don't love about topa is the silliness that can ensue with drinks. (Not that silliness doesn't ensue anyhow.) I guess what I'm saying is that I really would like to moderate, ultimately. Though I know most people on this site say abstinence is what works best for most. Am I like everyone else in that I just live in this circle of friends/family that enjoy their cocktails?
Anyhow, day 2. The good news is I have lost 7 lbs!

[4MyHealth]

Hopeful

So tired. A quick note before bed. Made it through day 3. Some tippy parts...where I would've looved a glass of wine. ...but where is the surprise in that?
And wow! That L-glut really works!! That will be my new fall-back! Esp. when my annoying step-mother-in-law is in town! I may just take the max then! What? 500 mg. at a time, 3000 mg. a day? hmmm....that could make her visits sooo much more tolerable.
Tomorrow will be a tough one for me. Friday. I have a feeling the neighbors will be calling for the girls to gather for a "glass" of wine. The sun is shining, it is warm, spring is here.
My plan: "I'd love to join you! I'll bring my Pelligrino! I've lost 8 lbs. and the pool opens in 10 days! I can't have wine on the Atkins diet, but I'd love to chat!" Fingers crossed, L-glut consumed, Topa taken, hope it works! Good night!

[prancy]

Hopeful

4MyHealth, I enjoyed reading your thread today. Sorry you are having a tough time with AF. This is my Day 2, but I have sooooo been here before. I have even made it one year before, but then it is always the social situations that get to me.
I can so relate to your group of friends being the ones who love their cocktails and wine. I love all my friends and most of them are big drinkers. I wonder if that is why we pick them! Take care of yourself and good luck. prancy

[4MyHealth]

Hopeful

Well, I tried really hard...and now I'll try really hard not to beat myself up about my failure again. My friends came to my house this afternoon. They called me to get together for a glass of wine. I told them (according to my script that I was doing Atkins and that I'd join them with my Pelligrino). They came here bc my 6 yr. old had a buddy over and obviously I couldn't leave him. I told them I didn't have any wine in the house. One came with glass in hand. we sat outside and I drank my Pelli. I went to get a diet Pepsi to keep me awake My other girlfriend arrived wine glasses in hand and wine bottle in hand. I told her I wasn't drinking but put the glasses away but hers and poured her glass. Went to get my p.m. dose of Topa and kept drinking my Pepsi and smiling. Actually feeling pretty well, to my surprise.

Chilly, so the party moved inside. Now I'm drinking Pelli and my girlfriend says. You can't let me drink this alone?! I said, I've lost 9 lbs! and I'm really wanting to continue... Come on...just one, she says. and quick as that I say okay. And now, it is done. My resolve wasn't strong enough.

I didn't have too much, but now I'm back to day one. I'm sure the scale will be up again, so I'm back tracking in the weight loss department too. I need to strengthen my resolve and I think I need to avoid social situations for a while. It is so difficult this time of year; it is also difficult with a social family. Maybe I can feign illness -- I'm on antibiotics -- can't drink. ??

[prancy]

Hopeful

4MH, just jump back in and do it again. You can do it. I know it. And why don't you tell your girlfriend that you are trying to go alcohol-free for a month for a change so she won't keep arriving at your house with a bottle and tempting you. Then after a month, you can say you feel so awesome that you are going to drink anymore, period. At least you can get her on your side. That kind of temptation is hard to take. If my husband suddenly said that he thought it would be ok to share a bottle of wine, I don't know that I could resist. He is NOT saying that as he has had decades of my drinking behavior and wants me to stop completely!

[4MyHealth]

Hopeful

Prancy, You are right. I can do it. You know it, and I know it. I think, because I always need "an excuse" I'll tell them that my Peer Trainer group is doing a 30 day diet - low sugar, low carbs, no alcohol. I'll tell them I really don't want to fail the group. They'll buy that. You're right; I'll prob. feel so good after 30, that I'll want to continue and I'll tell them just that.
Thanks for understanding how hard that temptation is. It really made me think I need to do Nal & TSM. We'll see. If I can do 30 days on Topa, maybe I won't need to switch to Nal.
I don't know if my husband wants me to stop completely or to be able to manage it socially. That would be an interesting question. Like you and yours, mine has had 2 decades of my drinking behavior and I'm quite certain he is sick of it.
Thanks again Prancy. BTW...are you near the water in CA? We used to live in SF. Love SD.

[prancy]

Hopeful

4MH, Yes, I am near the Southern California water. That reminds me. I should stop feeling sorry for myself and go for a long walk on the beach. And I will as soon as I can get over a huge work project that I have myself in fits over because I lost so many days last week to either drinking or getting over drinking. Drinking sure complicates life, doesn't it?! I am going away in two weeks with my husband to spend the weekend with friends who are big wine drinkers. Total normies, but they love their wine. Have been stressing about what to say for 4 days and it is still two weeks away. My husband says, why don't you just tell them the truth. Normies REALLY don't get it. I think I am just going to say that I don't like the way alcohol makes me feel anymore. Or maybe the antibiotics one!!!

[4MyHealth]

Hopeful

Normies don't get it. Although I have had a few friends (both male) tell me lately that they don't like the way alcohol makes them feel (they don't sleep as well, don't feel well the next day - even if they just have a little). And when they say this I think, "hmm, then don't drink". You know, I don't think it is weird at all. So maybe you could just say that. But for me, it has to be something a little stronger(like antibiotics and alcohol interfering with them), so they don't try to pressure me, because I cave too easily. Because that glass of wine is something I have romanticized too much.
Good luck with the work project. Enjoy the walk on the beach -- something I miss so much. And have a great time on your trip!! It'll be more fun w/o the wine anyhow, no headaches and you'll remember all the laughs with your great friends.

[4MyHealth]

Hopeful

Day 1. Just took the quiz cv1 posted on the Research thread from the Seven Weeks to Sobriety book. I am "allergic/addicted brain chemistry". Frightening really. I did used to get ill from drinking and have always thought it was strange that it no longer happens. The answer is there. My poor body had to adjust; so now it tolerates it and I don't vomit. Time to stop this stupidity. Give it the chance to adjust to health, for heaven's sake!
Oh how tired I am of this back and forth. I have told my husband I will do 30 days. I have got to stick to my word.
My wicked step-mother-in-law is coming into town this weekend. I usually numb the pain with alcohol. This weekend I will just have to face it head on. I will need a whole heap of patience.
Here goes...

[4MyHealth]

Hopeful

Just an update for me...tracking this process.
So today I have a major headache. Feel so dehydrated. Can't figure it out. My 6 year old did wake me up in the middle of the night, but I drank a bunch of water and tea yesterday, so I'm surprised. Feels worse (almost) than a hang-over. Part of the process, I guess. Here's to day 2! (Pleasant sip of green tea.)
This time I will make it to 30!

[prancy]

Hopeful

4My, Glad to hear that you made it to Day 2. Whenever I have a major slip and feel the effects, it takes about 3-4 days until I feel better. Talk about allergic! I took the test too and also was Allergic type. But Day 2 is ALWAYS the worst. I think the alcohol is finally exiting the body and it is really raising havoc. Hold on and tomorrow will be Day 3 and you WILL feel better. Drink tons of water. That helps to flush it through. Last night I had about 1 1/2 cup of ice cream. I never do that but it made me feel like I was treating myself. and I got through Day 7. Now I better watch it or I will be tipping up the scales. Jeez. It's aways something.....prancy

[4MyHealth]

Hopeful

Prancy, so glad you made it to day 7!! Now you have the weekend with your friends but you have that dreaded day 6 & 7 behind you!! Good luck and have fun this weekend. Funny that you indulged in ice cream. I am sitting here having a decaf latte with whipped cream on top. Feels very indulgent!
Now headed to bed with my headache in tow....I will leave it there as I have no time for it tomorrow!
Tomorrow is a busy day 3. Out the door at 7 a.m. Volunteering. Mom over for dinner. Haircuts for both kids after school. Baseball for son at 7:30. Should wrap up the game around 9:15 in time to tuck the kiddos into bed and head there myself. No time to think about anything but the arrival of day 4! ...with NO headache!!