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    #1

    Jacqrabbit's story

    First thank you to people who have told their own painful stories before me.
    They have given me the confidence to tell my own and also cemented in my mind the real desire to change myself.

    I do not have a painful past, I was never abused or hurt in any way so I don't know why I have become a problem drinker, both of my sisters and my brother are all problem drinkers so maybe there was something..

    I cannot remember a time when I was not a problem drinker, even as early as my late teens I followed the same pattern, then I did not drink often, maybe once a month but every time I did I got hammered and became the party girl, life of the party.

    Now I'm early 40s and drink often, no real pattern.
    Some days I can have 1 glass of wine and enjoy it, that would be perfect.

    But mostly I open a white while I'm preparing dinner, then feel guilty and throw the rest of the bottle down (my throat) quick before my husband comes home.

    Sometimes I can be successful hiding it but usually I get nasty with my husband,
    I will start on him about something small and keep going till we have a full blown fight,
    then I feel disgusting and full of remorse in the morning.

    I am at a point where I don't want to have to hide (lie) to my wonderful husband.
    I would like to enjoy a great wine on the weekend with him and it not turn into a binge and therefore get ugly.

    I have no problem doing AF days or even AF week If I make it a conscious decision but then I think that I have control and have a second drink, which to me means the rest of the bottle.

    I also have a 15 year old daughter and 13 year old son who I worry will grow up thinking daily drinking is normal.
    Happy to be back
    Tags: None
    #2
    Jacqrabbit's story

    Hi Jacqrabbit,
    Welcome. I'm relatively new here and have found this the most welcoming place to be. Supportive people who listen and tell you what you really need to hear. Listen and learn. Good luck to you!

    Comment

      #3
      Jacqrabbit's story

      Hello Formyhealth,

      Thank you for your kind words,
      It feels fantastic to know that someone is listening.

      It is 5:30pm Aust time here and I'm home alone,
      both my kids are on camp and the husband is Interstate and will not be home till about 11pm.

      It is not uncommon for him to be away but my normal thing would be a 'chick' movie, no dinner and a bottle of wine.

      Tonite will be same but different,
      I am not opening the wine.

      It feels just so liberating to make that choice.

      I will not be unconscious when he climbs into bed but alive and happy to see him.

      That's not to say that I won't reach for the comfort of the 'Live Chat' and I'm looking forward to that too.:thanks::thanks:
      Happy to be back

      Comment

        #4
        Jacqrabbit's story

        Hello Jacqrabbit, welcome to MWO. Well done for realising that there is a problem and taking that all important step in deciding to do something about it. This is a fantastic place and the support is amazing and totally non judgemental. We have members from all over the world so there is always somebody online when we need a friend. Have you looked into downloading the book, it is as good a place to start as anywhere?
        Keep safe
        KTAB
        Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

        Comment

          #5
          Jacqrabbit's story

          hi rabbit,interesting story,a lot like mine,i to have no problem stopping,staying stopped and wanting to is the desire i have to work on,it does eventually , get progressively worse,most of the time,over time ive come to a conclusion a lot of people have to ,just take a good look at what there doing,we were not tot how to drink,like most other things we were curious,then sometimes disaster happens,like swimming and sinking,riding a bike and falling off,hahaha,famous words,ouch,that wont happen again,WELL WITH LERNING IT DOES,ive had to change my thinking patterns many times,there are many threads you can comment on,as you get to no the MWO home,and people,most of all remember we all have feelings,i do so hope you find whats best for you,you have to be happy b4 you can make others happy gyco again welcom

          Comment

            #6
            Jacqrabbit's story

            welcome jackrabbit......you sound just like me.....stay with us and learn.....gyco is right...it only gets worse....
            I love my family more than alcohol.:h
            Live in the Solution....not the problem

            Comment

              #7
              Jacqrabbit's story

              Hello and welcome,

              You also sound just like me.. I also never knew where to stop and would get into terrible fights with my (now ex) husband.. he was verbally abusive though, and would often use the fact I had had a drink to launch a full blown attack on me.. your husband sounds much nicer and well worth giving up for! You also have to do it for yourself first though.. giving up AL gives you your life back.. AL is a depressant and despite the initial buzz.. will often make you feel depressed and remorseful.. you have come to the right place, most of us have been there, done that.. you are among friends that understand here..
              Katie xx
              "It works if you work it, because you are worth it!!!"

              :groupluv:

              Comment

                #8
                Jacqrabbit's story

                Hey Jac,

                Glad to have you with us.

                In the General Section, there's a thread called "The Next Day Thread". Most of the people there are from Aus and NZ, so on the same time zone, although anyone is welcome.

                The Newbies Nest is also a cool place to hang out.

                Spam

                Comment

                  #9
                  Jacqrabbit's story

                  Thanks Heaps Spam,

                  I have been finding the Time Zone quite challenging as 2 Nights out of 3 I have found No One on Chat in the evening, which is probable the most difficult time of day.

                  Thanks for the advice and the support.

                  I still cannot believe what a wonderful supportive place this is,
                  it's quite overwhelming.

                  Happily I have been AF Monday to Friday since joining (only a week ago) and just 1 standard glass of red both Saturday and Sunday Night.
                  Happy to be back

                  Comment

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